<\/p>\n
Dear Children of the World,<\/p>\n
Christmas is here! I hope you\u2019re as excited as I am. The holidays are such an exciting time of the year. Eating, drinking, shopping, New Year\u2019s resolutions! I smile just thinking about the busyness.<\/p>\n
Speaking of which, could I get an extension?<\/p>\n
I know I usually get all of the presents delivered in one night, but I feel like I\u2019m exceptionally busy. I mean there are close to 2 billion people who need presents this Christmas. That\u2019s a lot right?<\/p>\n
Now, I don\u2019t mean imply that you getting presents doesn\u2019t matter. You\u2019ll still get your gifts. I just feel that some of my followers may need a little extra comforting this Christmas. Perhaps the Christians in Egypt might want a hug? That wouldn\u2019t be too much of an inconvenience to you, would it? It would delay your celebration for maybe an hour but that\u2019s really all I need, especially since I upgraded the sleigh\u2019s nitro-booster system last year.<\/p>\n
This brings me to my next reason for requesting an extension. My sleigh is a little on the small side for 2 billion people\u2019s worth of presents. Especially with these new fan-dangled video games and such, the load can be quite heavy. I\u2019ll have to make a few pit stops at the North Pole. I have experimented with outsourcing the workload but I found that lead to more problems. People aren\u2019t comfortable with just any stranger coming down their chimney. It\u2019s bad enough when it\u2019s an overweight old man.<\/p>\n
The lead up to Christmas is just such a busy time for me that I won\u2019t be able to talk to you in person about this. That\u2019s the mall circuit for you. If you want more explanation for the extension request feel free to join me on my lap at your local mall.<\/p>\n
Again, I\u2019m really only asking for a few extra hours to get all of the presents delivered this year. You have my word as a man with a few hundred years under his belt that I am not abusing your good will. I really am busy and cannot commit to completing the delivery on time with good conscious.<\/p>\n
Thank you for your consideration.<\/p>\n
Sincerely,<\/p>\n
Santa Claus<\/p>\n
P.S. If I don\u2019t get this extension, you are all going to get coal for Christmas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Santa Claus Dec. 25, 2013 Dear Children of the World, Christmas is here! I hope you\u2019re as excited as I am. The holidays are such an exciting time of the year. Eating, drinking, shopping, New Year\u2019s resolutions! I smile just thinking about the busyness. Speaking of which, could I get an extension? I know I usually get all of the presents delivered in one night, but I feel like I\u2019m exceptionally busy. I mean there are close to 2 billion people who need presents this Christmas. That\u2019s a lot right? Now, I don\u2019t mean imply that you getting presents doesn\u2019t matter. You\u2019ll still get your gifts. I just feel that some of my followers may need a little extra comforting this Christmas. Perhaps the Christians in Egypt might want a hug? That wouldn\u2019t be too much of an inconvenience to you, would it? It would delay your celebration for maybe an hour but that\u2019s really all I need, especially since I upgraded the sleigh\u2019s nitro-booster system last year. This brings me to my next reason for requesting an extension. My sleigh is a little on the small side for 2 billion people\u2019s worth of presents. Especially with these new fan-dangled video games and such, the load can be quite heavy. I\u2019ll have to make a few pit stops at the North Pole. I have experimented with outsourcing the workload but I found that lead to more problems. People aren\u2019t comfortable with just any stranger coming down their chimney. It\u2019s bad enough when it\u2019s an overweight old man. The lead up to Christmas is just such a busy time for me that I won\u2019t be able to talk to you in person about this. That\u2019s the mall circuit for you. If you want more explanation for the extension request feel free to join me on my lap at your local mall. Again, I\u2019m really only asking for a few extra hours to get all of the presents delivered this year. You have my word as a man with a few hundred years under his belt that I am not abusing your good will. I really am busy and cannot commit to completing the delivery on time with good conscious. Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely, Santa Claus P.S. If I don\u2019t get this extension, you are all going to get coal for Christmas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2223"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2223"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2223\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3256,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2223\/revisions\/3256"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}