<\/p>\n
10. The Pale Plague, 904-936 \u2013 Infecting overbore more than 80% of Europe, the sadly hereditary Pale Plague turned its victims sickeningly pasty and caused them to pretend to like classical music.<\/p>\n
9. The Plague of Locust, 1818 \u2013 South Carolina farmer Max Davidson was just minding his own business when this massive locust just flew right into his kitchen and almost stung him! Wait, do locusts sting?<\/p>\n
8. The Plaque Plague, 1391 \u2013 One morning, everyone in the town of Agde, France woke up to find dozens of strange monuments scattered throughout the village, each bearing a commemorative plaque bearing a date from some time in the future. The last, purportedly from the late 23rd century, marks \u201cwhere the Glorious Droid Army destroyed the last of the Meat Men\u201d.<\/p>\n
7. The Plague of Infidelity, 1964 \u2013 Infecting insurance salesman William Cayuso for months before he confessed to his wife, this plague forced an innocent man to cheat on his wife with his secretary, their neighbor Veronica, and numerous prostitutes. <\/p>\n
6. The Bad Dancing Plague, 1519 \u2013 Spreading throughout the Holy Roman Empire, this plague caused its victims to dance in the streets for hours at a time, yet not a single one displayed anything resembling rhythm.<\/p>\n
5. The Plague of Idiocracy, 2006 \u2013 Somehow transmitted by watching the film of the same name, this debilitating disease made its victims completely insufferable as they insisted that society was going downhill, and that humanity would never again produce people as smart as them.<\/p>\n
4. The Plague of Jenny, 1992-present \u2013 God, she\u2019s such a bitch.<\/p>\n
3. The Plague of Morning People, 1636 \u2013 Primarily contracted by roommates and coworkers, this plague caused its victims to wake up at seven a.m., bright, chipper, and above all loud. Sadly, a cure was never developed, as most victims had to be put down by violent bludgeoning with whatever was at hand.<\/p>\n
2. The Plague of Man, 200,000 BC-present \u2013 See, from the Earth\u2019s perspective, people are the real disease. Just think about it. Think about it and repack this bowl.<\/p>\n
1. The Plague of Self-Reflection, 470 BC-1948 \u2013 This horrifying disease caused the infected to question their real purpose in life, how best to treat other people, and whether anything they did had real meaning. Thankfully, it was cured through the invention and popularization of the television.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Daniel Betancourt Jan. 24, 2014 10. The Pale Plague, 904-936 \u2013 Infecting overbore more than 80% of Europe, the sadly hereditary Pale Plague turned its victims sickeningly pasty and caused them to pretend to like classical music. 9. The Plague of Locust, 1818 \u2013 South Carolina farmer Max Davidson was just minding his own business when this massive locust just flew right into his kitchen and almost stung him! Wait, do locusts sting? 8. The Plaque Plague, 1391 \u2013 One morning, everyone in the town of Agde, France woke up to find dozens of strange monuments scattered throughout the village, each bearing a commemorative plaque bearing a date from some time in the future. The last, purportedly from the late 23rd century, marks \u201cwhere the Glorious Droid Army destroyed the last of the Meat Men\u201d. 7. The Plague of Infidelity, 1964 \u2013 Infecting insurance salesman William Cayuso for months before he confessed to his wife, this plague forced an innocent man to cheat on his wife with his secretary, their neighbor Veronica, and numerous prostitutes. 6. The Bad Dancing Plague, 1519 \u2013 Spreading throughout the Holy Roman Empire, this plague caused its victims to dance in the streets for hours at a time, yet not a single one displayed anything resembling rhythm. 5. The Plague of Idiocracy, 2006 \u2013 Somehow transmitted by watching the film of the same name, this debilitating disease made its victims completely insufferable as they insisted that society was going downhill, and that humanity would never again produce people as smart as them. 4. The Plague of Jenny, 1992-present \u2013 God, she\u2019s such a bitch. 3. The Plague of Morning People, 1636 \u2013 Primarily contracted by roommates and coworkers, this plague caused its victims to wake up at seven a.m., bright, chipper, and above all loud. Sadly, a cure was never developed, as most victims had to be put down by violent bludgeoning with whatever was at hand. 2. The Plague of Man, 200,000 BC-present \u2013 See, from the Earth\u2019s perspective, people are the real disease. Just think about it. Think about it and repack this bowl. 1. The Plague of Self-Reflection, 470 BC-1948 \u2013 This horrifying disease caused the infected to question their real purpose in life, how best to treat other people, and whether anything they did had real meaning. Thankfully, it was cured through the invention and popularization of the television.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2215"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3248,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2215\/revisions\/3248"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}