<\/p>\n
LDR Break-Up Mad Libs<\/strong><\/p>\n By Morgan Pantuck<\/p>\n Dear Sam,<\/p>\n We need to [verb]. I know that we wanted to give long-distance a\/an [adjective] shot, and that I promised our love was [adjective] enough to withstand being separated by [number] miles. But, when I actually got to [college] and realized how many [adjective] [plural noun] are here, I thought [exclamation]! The truth is, I think it’s time we [sexual act] other people. I hope we can still be [shittier relationship]. <\/p>\n [Adverb],<\/p>\n Carl<\/p>\n * * *<\/p>\n Dear Carl,<\/p>\n You are unbelievable. After all those Skype-dates and Snapchats of my [noun]! <\/p>\n This is because of that slag [female name] isn’t it? I saw the [social media site] picture of your [body part] around her [body part]. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Well, joke\u2019s on you\u2014I have [STD] and probably gave it to you over [mainstream winter holiday]. Have fun explaining the [symptom of STD] to [same female name].<\/p>\n [Expletive] you,<\/p>\n Sam<\/p>\n<\/p>\n * * * <\/p>\n Dear Sam,<\/p>\n What!? You cheating whore! I should\u2019ve known not to trust you after that accident with the [aquatic mammal]. Those stains never came out. I\u2019m still haunted by the [screams]. Whatever. Have a nice life, you misshapen [root vegetable or fungus]! Also, ignore that drunk voicemail I left you last night\u2014our babies would not<\/em> look like Jesus had sex with [Victoria\u2019s Secret Model]. <\/p>\n Sobbing,<\/p>\n Carl<\/p>\n PS: I\u2019ll probably still want to have sex over the summer if that\u2019s cool. <\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Morgan Pantuck Aug. 1, 2014 LDR Break-Up Mad Libs By Morgan Pantuck Dear Sam, We need to [verb]. I know that we wanted to give long-distance a\/an [adjective] shot, and that I promised our love was [adjective] enough to withstand being separated by [number] miles. But, when I actually got to [college] and realized how many [adjective] [plural noun] are here, I thought [exclamation]! The truth is, I think it’s time we [sexual act] other people. I hope we can still be [shittier relationship]. [Adverb], Carl * * * Dear Carl, You are unbelievable. After all those Skype-dates and Snapchats of my [noun]! This is because of that slag [female name] isn’t it? I saw the [social media site] picture of your [body part] around her [body part]. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Well, joke\u2019s on you\u2014I have [STD] and probably gave it to you over [mainstream winter holiday]. Have fun explaining the [symptom of STD] to [same female name]. [Expletive] you, Sam * * * Dear Sam, What!? You cheating whore! I should\u2019ve known not to trust you after that accident with the [aquatic mammal]. Those stains never came out. I\u2019m still haunted by the [screams]. Whatever. Have a nice life, you misshapen [root vegetable or fungus]! Also, ignore that drunk voicemail I left you last night\u2014our babies would not look like Jesus had sex with [Victoria\u2019s Secret Model]. Sobbing, Carl PS: I\u2019ll probably still want to have sex over the summer if that\u2019s cool.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2160","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2160","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2160"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2160\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3193,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2160\/revisions\/3193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2160"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2160"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2160"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}