<\/p>\n
In a story first picked up by the New Roman Times, the town of Tahoma, Georgia has been sans sheriff for the last four days. <\/p>\n
Pressed to discuss the impact of the open office, Mayor Franklin Gothic was hard to read. The mayor remained composed as he underlined his wish to welcome a new constable into \u201cthe Tahoma family of fonts.\u201d<\/p>\n
Arial Italic, leader of a local anarchist set, put his own slant on the proceedings. \u201cThe need for policing is an old line \u2013 totally unjustified,\u201d said Italic, biting into a patty from local fast-food emporium Gutenburger. \u201cMy party has been stereotyped and marginalized, but if the stars align, this might be our chance to expose the government\u2019s bold-faced lies.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis town is on a highway to Helvetica,\u201d said elderly homeowner Cooper Black from his adobe at the center of town. \u201cWithout sheriffs, who will stop any old dingbat from carrying out his nefarious designs?\u201d <\/p>\n
Black paused to sip his Corona, continuing, \u201cThis would never happen in a capital city.\u201d<\/p>\n
In other news, the Tahoma Wingdings, a local minor league affiliate, are celebrating their recent playoff success with a fifteen percent sale on all caps.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Si Squires-Kasten Nov. 13, 2014 In a story first picked up by the New Roman Times, the town of Tahoma, Georgia has been sans sheriff for the last four days. Pressed to discuss the impact of the open office, Mayor Franklin Gothic was hard to read. The mayor remained composed as he underlined his wish to welcome a new constable into \u201cthe Tahoma family of fonts.\u201d Arial Italic, leader of a local anarchist set, put his own slant on the proceedings. \u201cThe need for policing is an old line \u2013 totally unjustified,\u201d said Italic, biting into a patty from local fast-food emporium Gutenburger. \u201cMy party has been stereotyped and marginalized, but if the stars align, this might be our chance to expose the government\u2019s bold-faced lies.\u201d \u201cThis town is on a highway to Helvetica,\u201d said elderly homeowner Cooper Black from his adobe at the center of town. \u201cWithout sheriffs, who will stop any old dingbat from carrying out his nefarious designs?\u201d Black paused to sip his Corona, continuing, \u201cThis would never happen in a capital city.\u201d In other news, the Tahoma Wingdings, a local minor league affiliate, are celebrating their recent playoff success with a fifteen percent sale on all caps.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2135","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2135"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2135\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3168,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2135\/revisions\/3168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2135"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2135"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2135"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}