<\/p>\n
Love Child Becomes Love Adult<\/strong><\/p>\n Sources close to Jeffrey Tanenbaum report that the twenty-five-year old graduate student has completed his transformation from a child of lust to an adult of also lust. <\/p>\n Mazel Tov!<\/p>\n Tanenbaum\u2019s mother had no comment on the milestone in young Jeffrey\u2019s life except to say that she is “very proud.” and she hopes he\u2019ll call soon, maybe Tuesday?<\/p>\n Once the spawn of passion and desire, Jeffrey \u201cJeff\u201d Tanenbaum ended his long journey to become a fully grown man with passion and desires of his own. According to his friends, the MFA hopeful has sought after women before, but not with the full arsenal of sexual and sensual prowess with which he is now armed. <\/p>\n Having recently become the human embodiment of sex sex sex, Tanenbaum is set to approach his love life in the same way he approaches his painting \u2014 with the fury of a thousand winds and the delicate touch of an angel in heat. This new achievement in young Jeffrey\u2019s life will likely herald many adventures and endeavors for the Michigan native, including, but not limited to, sex on cake, sex outside, and sex in space. New opportunities for Tanenbaum may also include sex on a plane, sex for an hour, or sex in costume.<\/p>\n The Dealer<\/em> has compiled a non-exhaustive list of sexual acts that the newly-maturely-lustful Tanenbaum may soon find himself engaged in:<\/p>\n Sex in the dark<\/p>\n Sex with two women<\/p>\n Sex with three women<\/p>\n Sex in a chair<\/p>\n Real good kind of sex<\/p>\n Sex five times!<\/p>\n Sex while in love<\/p>\n Sex while in overalls<\/p>\n Hot hot sex with hot hot ladies<\/p>\n Every day sex<\/p>\n Everyday sex<\/p>\n \u201cOh no I think I broke it\u201d sex<\/p>\n Under-the-blankets sex<\/p>\n Over-the-blankets-under-the-comforter sex<\/p>\n Gotta have it right now! sex<\/p>\n Butt sex<\/p>\n (While certainly not a complete array of the kinds of love-making Tanenbaum can expect in his near future, The Dealer <\/em>has gone to great lengths to compile an appropriate, representative spectrum.)<\/p>\n As of press time, Jeff is ready to roll.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Evan Bernstein Nov. 16, 2014 Love Child Becomes Love Adult Sources close to Jeffrey Tanenbaum report that the twenty-five-year old graduate student has completed his transformation from a child of lust to an adult of also lust. Mazel Tov! Tanenbaum\u2019s mother had no comment on the milestone in young Jeffrey\u2019s life except to say that she is “very proud.” and she hopes he\u2019ll call soon, maybe Tuesday? Once the spawn of passion and desire, Jeffrey \u201cJeff\u201d Tanenbaum ended his long journey to become a fully grown man with passion and desires of his own. According to his friends, the MFA hopeful has sought after women before, but not with the full arsenal of sexual and sensual prowess with which he is now armed. Having recently become the human embodiment of sex sex sex, Tanenbaum is set to approach his love life in the same way he approaches his painting \u2014 with the fury of a thousand winds and the delicate touch of an angel in heat. This new achievement in young Jeffrey\u2019s life will likely herald many adventures and endeavors for the Michigan native, including, but not limited to, sex on cake, sex outside, and sex in space. New opportunities for Tanenbaum may also include sex on a plane, sex for an hour, or sex in costume. The Dealer has compiled a non-exhaustive list of sexual acts that the newly-maturely-lustful Tanenbaum may soon find himself engaged in: Sex in the dark Sex with two women Sex with three women Sex in a chair Real good kind of sex Sex five times! Sex while in love Sex while in overalls Hot hot sex with hot hot ladies Every day sex Everyday sex \u201cOh no I think I broke it\u201d sex Under-the-blankets sex Over-the-blankets-under-the-comforter sex Gotta have it right now! sex Butt sex (While certainly not a complete array of the kinds of love-making Tanenbaum can expect in his near future, The Dealer has gone to great lengths to compile an appropriate, representative spectrum.) As of press time, Jeff is ready to roll.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2127"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2127"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2127\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3160,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2127\/revisions\/3160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2127"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2127"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2127"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}