<\/p>\n
After long deliberation, informed consideration, and an even-keeled look at the issues, America has handed the reins over to the greater of two profound evils, polling organizations report.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a tough decision,\u201d said registered voter and father of three Cormorant Flack, \u201cbut money was tight, my shift boss said he might cut my hours, and things were going slightly too well with the environment. So I voted for, I don\u2019t know, growth and stuff. Growth? Growth.\u201d\t<\/p>\n
United States voters have remained largely sanguine about handing over the mantle of American democracy to a group of people who plan to run it straight into the ground. Statistician and political analyst Nate Silver (\u201900) suggests that the midterm elections delivered \u201cthe ringing endorsement of contempt for human decency that America most needs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re a waning superpower,\u201d said Silver, \u201cunable to cope with the onrushing tide of Chinese economic production, ebola, the swine flu, Russia, encroaching poverty, and the warning signs of post-industrial collapse. It\u2019s natural that our collective response has been to stick a long, rusty machete straight in our eyes and twist it around until the pain stops. Metaphorically speaking.\u201d\t<\/p>\n
Power consolidation has provided major political momentum to Congressional Republicans as well. Gallup analysts predict these victories in the midterm elections could substantially aid their effort to completely destroy the workings of government by becoming it. <\/p>\n
Moods are running high in the House of Representatives, where submissive murmurs directed at corporate interests have lately given way to manic, irrepressible cackling.\t<\/p>\n
\u201cBlow me,\u201d said incumbent Majority Leader Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY). \u201cWe could do anything \u2013 literally anything \u2013 at this point. You are nobody and nothing. You can\u2019t stop us. You are a speck of dust. A speck of dust. And I am a four-pistoned, diesel-engined industrial-grade vacuum.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to come into your house and kick your dog straight in its fucking face,\u201d he added.\t<\/p>\n
At press time, our only regret was that Satan didn\u2019t run for office this year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Daniel Moattar Nov. 16, 2014 After long deliberation, informed consideration, and an even-keeled look at the issues, America has handed the reins over to the greater of two profound evils, polling organizations report. \u201cIt was a tough decision,\u201d said registered voter and father of three Cormorant Flack, \u201cbut money was tight, my shift boss said he might cut my hours, and things were going slightly too well with the environment. So I voted for, I don\u2019t know, growth and stuff. Growth? Growth.\u201d United States voters have remained largely sanguine about handing over the mantle of American democracy to a group of people who plan to run it straight into the ground. Statistician and political analyst Nate Silver (\u201900) suggests that the midterm elections delivered \u201cthe ringing endorsement of contempt for human decency that America most needs.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re a waning superpower,\u201d said Silver, \u201cunable to cope with the onrushing tide of Chinese economic production, ebola, the swine flu, Russia, encroaching poverty, and the warning signs of post-industrial collapse. It\u2019s natural that our collective response has been to stick a long, rusty machete straight in our eyes and twist it around until the pain stops. Metaphorically speaking.\u201d Power consolidation has provided major political momentum to Congressional Republicans as well. Gallup analysts predict these victories in the midterm elections could substantially aid their effort to completely destroy the workings of government by becoming it. Moods are running high in the House of Representatives, where submissive murmurs directed at corporate interests have lately given way to manic, irrepressible cackling. \u201cBlow me,\u201d said incumbent Majority Leader Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY). \u201cWe could do anything \u2013 literally anything \u2013 at this point. You are nobody and nothing. You can\u2019t stop us. You are a speck of dust. A speck of dust. And I am a four-pistoned, diesel-engined industrial-grade vacuum.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to come into your house and kick your dog straight in its fucking face,\u201d he added. At press time, our only regret was that Satan didn\u2019t run for office this year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2118","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2118","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2118"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2118\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3161,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2118\/revisions\/3161"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2118"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2118"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}