<\/p>\n
Guys, sex is like pizza: even when it\u2019s bad, it\u2019s still pretty good. You know what I mean? Every time I\u2019ve had sex in the past, I was happy with the result, even when I had little to no sexual chemistry with my partner. <\/p>\n
Similarly, bread and cheese are pretty much always delicious, no matter how janky the pizza is. In fact, if you put a bunch of cheese on a piece of cardboard, I might not even notice the difference. <\/p>\n
Just like that one time I watched three hours of static noise on my television for three hours instead of Titanic<\/em>. It was basically the same experience. You feel me, bro? I mean, sure, I\u2019m all for fancy food and passionate intercourse, but, at the same time, my goldfish died when I was ten, and I kept feeding it until I was eleven. <\/p>\n Sex is sex, man. It just can\u2019t be bad! I don\u2019t care about little details like \u201cyour girlfriend looks profoundly unhappy,\u201d and \u201cthis goldfish died one year ago.\u201d My point is, I\u2019m not saying I would have sex with my mom, but I\u2019m not saying it would be the worst thing, either. Amirite, fellas? High five!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Barry March 1, 2015 Guys, sex is like pizza: even when it\u2019s bad, it\u2019s still pretty good. You know what I mean? Every time I\u2019ve had sex in the past, I was happy with the result, even when I had little to no sexual chemistry with my partner. Similarly, bread and cheese are pretty much always delicious, no matter how janky the pizza is. In fact, if you put a bunch of cheese on a piece of cardboard, I might not even notice the difference. Just like that one time I watched three hours of static noise on my television for three hours instead of Titanic. It was basically the same experience. You feel me, bro? I mean, sure, I\u2019m all for fancy food and passionate intercourse, but, at the same time, my goldfish died when I was ten, and I kept feeding it until I was eleven. Sex is sex, man. It just can\u2019t be bad! I don\u2019t care about little details like \u201cyour girlfriend looks profoundly unhappy,\u201d and \u201cthis goldfish died one year ago.\u201d My point is, I\u2019m not saying I would have sex with my mom, but I\u2019m not saying it would be the worst thing, either. Amirite, fellas? High five!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2065"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3098,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions\/3098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2065"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2065"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2065"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}