<\/p>\n
Expressing his affection for the operating system\u2019s utilitarian design and simplistic color scheme, local father Milton Ford told reporters that he\u2019s sticking with Windows XP for the time being. <\/p>\n
\u201cXP\u2019s a great system and I already know how to use it,\u201d said Ford, explaining that there\u2019s no need to update to Windows 8. <\/p>\n
\u201cThe other systems are just too flashy, and I don\u2019t want to have to reinstall Spider Solitaire. Plus, my buddy Alan told me that they upgraded at his office, and the new system has a lot of bugs that need to be worked out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ford went on to say that he was pretty much an expert at restarting the computer, and that doing it a couple times per day just didn’t seem like a serious inconvenience to him. <\/p>\n
The family computer, a Dell desktop situated on the cluttered half-desk between the kitchen and living room, has served the Ford family for almost twelve years now. In that time it has accumulated two viruses, a good deal of adware, and no Java upgrades. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s completely non-functional. I can\u2019t even use it to look at porn, because I always go flaccid waiting for videos or pictures to load.\u201d Ford\u2019s youngest son Declan said in a confidential interview with The<\/i> Dealer. “<\/i>Please, don\u2019t quote me on that.“<\/i> <\/p>\n
Now entering high school, Declan needs a functional computer for schoolwork. But his father Milton insists that he either cope with the family computer\u2019s more deliberate pace, or that he handwrite his essays and college applications. <\/p>\n
\u201cMilton is just lying to himself. The computer can\u2019t do anything other than turn on, freeze, and display a screen saver,\u201d said Mr. Ford\u2019s wife Desiree. She went on to explain that he\u2019s started to entertain himself by watching his favorite screen saver, a 3D network of pipes, build up across the screen. <\/p>\n
\u201cAs far as I\u2019m concerned, we\u2019ll be sticking to XP until there\u2019s a damn good reason to upgrade. If it\u2019s lasted this long, who’s to say it won\u2019t be just as functional for a couple more years?\u201d said Ford, who still drives a 1985 two-door Chevy Monte Carlo with a broken catalytic converter. <\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Dan Lastres March 1, 2015 Expressing his affection for the operating system\u2019s utilitarian design and simplistic color scheme, local father Milton Ford told reporters that he\u2019s sticking with Windows XP for the time being. \u201cXP\u2019s a great system and I already know how to use it,\u201d said Ford, explaining that there\u2019s no need to update to Windows 8. \u201cThe other systems are just too flashy, and I don\u2019t want to have to reinstall Spider Solitaire. Plus, my buddy Alan told me that they upgraded at his office, and the new system has a lot of bugs that need to be worked out.\u201d Ford went on to say that he was pretty much an expert at restarting the computer, and that doing it a couple times per day just didn’t seem like a serious inconvenience to him. The family computer, a Dell desktop situated on the cluttered half-desk between the kitchen and living room, has served the Ford family for almost twelve years now. In that time it has accumulated two viruses, a good deal of adware, and no Java upgrades. \u201cIt\u2019s completely non-functional. I can\u2019t even use it to look at porn, because I always go flaccid waiting for videos or pictures to load.\u201d Ford\u2019s youngest son Declan said in a confidential interview with The Dealer. “Please, don\u2019t quote me on that.“ Now entering high school, Declan needs a functional computer for schoolwork. But his father Milton insists that he either cope with the family computer\u2019s more deliberate pace, or that he handwrite his essays and college applications. \u201cMilton is just lying to himself. The computer can\u2019t do anything other than turn on, freeze, and display a screen saver,\u201d said Mr. Ford\u2019s wife Desiree. She went on to explain that he\u2019s started to entertain himself by watching his favorite screen saver, a 3D network of pipes, build up across the screen. \u201cAs far as I\u2019m concerned, we\u2019ll be sticking to XP until there\u2019s a damn good reason to upgrade. If it\u2019s lasted this long, who’s to say it won\u2019t be just as functional for a couple more years?\u201d said Ford, who still drives a 1985 two-door Chevy Monte Carlo with a broken catalytic converter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2062"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2062"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2062\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3095,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2062\/revisions\/3095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}