<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll be honest\u2014I\u2019ve never really been a \u201cgirly girl.\u201d When other teens were figuring out high heels and accessories, I was belching loudly and watching NASCAR. Actually, that was my uncle. But you get the point. I\u2019m a little clueless when it comes to the more feminine things in life, especially make-up. That\u2019s why I promised myself I\u2019d dedicate a whole week to practicing how to use all types of cosmetics. Unfortunately, after six days of eating mascara, I became very ill and had to stop.<\/p>\n
Why did this only happen to me? Other girls seem to consume tons of mascara for days on end without getting sick. Maybe they\u2019ve built up a tolerance over the years, and it\u2019s too late for me now. Maybe I bought the wrong brand. Maybe they only licked the bristles instead of eating the entire applicator. There\u2019s really no way to tell.<\/p>\n
Knowing that I can only eat mascara for six days at a stretch is a little disheartening. It makes me feel less womanly and very nauseated. Part of me is afraid I\u2019ll never find a good husband unless I force myself to ingest a much greater quantity of beauty products. My friend Ingrid says her boyfriend makes gagging noises for at least an hour when she takes her make-up off, and I\u2019m relatively afraid of that kind of rejection.<\/p>\n
On the other hand, I can\u2019t change who I am. Maybe it\u2019s time to say, \u201cHello, world! I\u2019m Morgan, and I cannot eat a tube of mascara without vomiting! I\u2019m proud of my inferior intestinal lining and I don\u2019t need your approval to feel attractive.\u201d Not that I\u2019m shaming women who do eat mascara\u2014they can do whatever they want with their mysteriously tough innards. I just think we\u2019ll all live in a better world when women don\u2019t feel pressured to smother turkey sandwiches in this gross black wax instead of mayonnaise just because society tells them to. Thank you for listening. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Morgan Pantuck April 23, 2015 I\u2019ll be honest\u2014I\u2019ve never really been a \u201cgirly girl.\u201d When other teens were figuring out high heels and accessories, I was belching loudly and watching NASCAR. Actually, that was my uncle. But you get the point. I\u2019m a little clueless when it comes to the more feminine things in life, especially make-up. That\u2019s why I promised myself I\u2019d dedicate a whole week to practicing how to use all types of cosmetics. Unfortunately, after six days of eating mascara, I became very ill and had to stop. Why did this only happen to me? Other girls seem to consume tons of mascara for days on end without getting sick. Maybe they\u2019ve built up a tolerance over the years, and it\u2019s too late for me now. Maybe I bought the wrong brand. Maybe they only licked the bristles instead of eating the entire applicator. There\u2019s really no way to tell. Knowing that I can only eat mascara for six days at a stretch is a little disheartening. It makes me feel less womanly and very nauseated. Part of me is afraid I\u2019ll never find a good husband unless I force myself to ingest a much greater quantity of beauty products. My friend Ingrid says her boyfriend makes gagging noises for at least an hour when she takes her make-up off, and I\u2019m relatively afraid of that kind of rejection. On the other hand, I can\u2019t change who I am. Maybe it\u2019s time to say, \u201cHello, world! I\u2019m Morgan, and I cannot eat a tube of mascara without vomiting! I\u2019m proud of my inferior intestinal lining and I don\u2019t need your approval to feel attractive.\u201d Not that I\u2019m shaming women who do eat mascara\u2014they can do whatever they want with their mysteriously tough innards. I just think we\u2019ll all live in a better world when women don\u2019t feel pressured to smother turkey sandwiches in this gross black wax instead of mayonnaise just because society tells them to. Thank you for listening.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2049"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2049\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3082,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2049\/revisions\/3082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}