<\/p>\n
<\/strong>Marital problems? We\u2019ve all been there. Some people will tell you to talk it out, but sometimes it\u2019s best to keep your troubles to yourself and never let anything slip ever no matter what. These eight tips will help you get your marriage back on track without even having to open your mouth once for any reason whatsoever.<\/em><\/p>\n 1. Look Down a Lot<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>You might think that not speaking would hinder your communication skills. Not so! Just as much can be said with the eyes as with the voice, maybe even more! Look down at the floor a lot to let him know there\u2019s something wrong and you don\u2019t want to talk about it<\/p>\n 2. Sit In a Chair and Stare Out the Window<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>There\u2019s no better way to get your message across (without speaking, of course) than by watching the sunrise, sunset, and everything between through the kitchen window. This will send a clear signal that you\u2019re really upset and just not willing to discuss it. <\/p>\n 3. Break Things and then Pout<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Every successful marriage needs attention, and a great way to get attention is by breaking things. He\u2019s going to get mad, but pouting lets him know that there\u2019s something that\u2019s causing you to act out, and he will never ever find out what it is.<\/p>\n 4. Stand Right Next to Him While He\u2019s Not Looking<\/em><\/p>\n Once your husband notices you, he\u2019s going to get scared for a second. That\u2019s good. Keep him on his toes. Keep him guessing. Never let him know what\u2019s really going on.<\/p>\n 5. Doodle the Same Shapes Over and Over<\/em><\/p>\n Repetitive drawing patterns will definitely raise some alarms, but the first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging there is one. Whatever you do, don\u2019t tell him what it is.<\/p>\n 6. Sleep With Other People<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>You need to feel loved. You need to feel like a real woman. Besides, he\u2019s probably doing it, too. You\u2019ll never know if you don\u2019t talk about it, so don\u2019t talk about it.<\/p>\n 7. Eat in Private<\/em><\/p>\n Never let him see you eat.<\/p>\n 8. Set Small Fires<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Not big ones, just small ones. Big enough that he has to work to put them all out, but not so big that you can\u2019t escape the house and this horrible marriage that is ruining your health and shredding the last remains of your youth oh Jesus you\u2019ve got to get out got to get out it\u2019s really hot in here crawl below the smoke line just get to the front door and you\u2019re free home free you can go anywhere once you cash the life insurance check things are going to be better for you you\u2019re going to be better everything\u2019s going to be better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Evan Bernstein April 26, 2015 Marital problems? We\u2019ve all been there. Some people will tell you to talk it out, but sometimes it\u2019s best to keep your troubles to yourself and never let anything slip ever no matter what. These eight tips will help you get your marriage back on track without even having to open your mouth once for any reason whatsoever. 1. Look Down a Lot You might think that not speaking would hinder your communication skills. Not so! Just as much can be said with the eyes as with the voice, maybe even more! Look down at the floor a lot to let him know there\u2019s something wrong and you don\u2019t want to talk about it 2. Sit In a Chair and Stare Out the Window There\u2019s no better way to get your message across (without speaking, of course) than by watching the sunrise, sunset, and everything between through the kitchen window. This will send a clear signal that you\u2019re really upset and just not willing to discuss it. 3. Break Things and then Pout Every successful marriage needs attention, and a great way to get attention is by breaking things. He\u2019s going to get mad, but pouting lets him know that there\u2019s something that\u2019s causing you to act out, and he will never ever find out what it is. 4. Stand Right Next to Him While He\u2019s Not Looking Once your husband notices you, he\u2019s going to get scared for a second. That\u2019s good. Keep him on his toes. Keep him guessing. Never let him know what\u2019s really going on. 5. Doodle the Same Shapes Over and Over Repetitive drawing patterns will definitely raise some alarms, but the first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging there is one. Whatever you do, don\u2019t tell him what it is. 6. Sleep With Other People You need to feel loved. You need to feel like a real woman. Besides, he\u2019s probably doing it, too. You\u2019ll never know if you don\u2019t talk about it, so don\u2019t talk about it. 7. Eat in Private Never let him see you eat. 8. Set Small Fires Not big ones, just small ones. Big enough that he has to work to put them all out, but not so big that you can\u2019t escape the house and this horrible marriage that is ruining your health and shredding the last remains of your youth oh Jesus you\u2019ve got to get out got to get out it\u2019s really hot in here crawl below the smoke line just get to the front door and you\u2019re free home free you can go anywhere once you cash the life insurance check things are going to be better for you you\u2019re going to be better everything\u2019s going to be better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2042","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2042","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2042"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3075,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2042\/revisions\/3075"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}