{"id":2033,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/scientists-determine-you-wont-finish-this-article-because-it-about-science\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:59:22","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:59:22","slug":"scientists-determine-you-wont-finish-this-article-because-it-about-science","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/scientists-determine-you-wont-finish-this-article-because-it-about-science\/","title":{"rendered":"Scientists Determine You Won’t Finish This Article Because It About Science"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Dan Lastres<\/a><\/h6>\n
May 26, 2015<\/h6>\n

<\/delete><\/strong><\/insert>A crack team of scientists, sociologists, and journalist<\/delete>s<\/insert><\/delete> from the University of Chicago <\/delete>recently <\/insert><\/delete>have<\/delete> published a report <\/delete>definitively<\/delete> showing that you won\u2019t finish this article because it\u2019s about science. The researchers found that the average person\u2019s low attention span shrinks even further wh<\/delete>ile<\/insert><\/delete>en<\/delete> <\/delete>they are<\/delete> reading articles about climate change, behavioral studies, or mental floss articles. <\/delete>You won’t finish this article because it’s about science, according to findings publishedpresented<\/delete> research conducted<\/delete>by a University of Chicago research group in June’s<\/delete> Scientific American<\/i>‘s June edition. The combined unit of scientists, sociologists, and journalists determined that the average human attention span, already low, is reduced even further when attempting to read articles about climate change, behavioral studies, or pieces from Mental Floss<\/i> magazine.the June 6 edition of <\/delete>Science<\/delete><\/i>latest edition of<\/delete> journal<\/delete> <\/delete>Largely Unread Science Findings <\/delete><\/i><\/insert><\/insert> <\/insert><\/p>\n

Neil DeG<\/insert>g<\/delete>rasse<\/insert> Tyson and Bill Nye the Science g<\/delete>G<\/insert>uy have been used <\/delete>employed <\/insert>as attention–<\/insert> <\/delete>getters to lure you into this second paragraph. However, they are the only two significant<\/delete>notable<\/insert> celebrity scientists, and,<\/insert> let\u2019s be honest, they\u2019re burning through their fame pretty quickly. Scientists just don\u2019t have any good options left when it comes to keeping you reading.<\/insert> <\/insert><\/p>\n

You will be shocked to hear,<\/delete> that there is nothing that shocking about this study. In fact, \u201cshock,\u201d \u201csurprise,\u201d and \u201camazing\u201d are words we tack on to study findings so people will click on them more often<\/delete>readily<\/insert>. If you\u2019re still reading now, then <\/insert>you\u2019ll be amazed by what <\/delete>the <\/insert>mind <\/delete>–<\/insert>blowing facts we\u2019re going to share with you in the next paragraph!<\/insert><\/p>\n

<\/insert>Oh. Y<\/insert>, <\/delete>ou\u2019re still here. I thought you\u2019d have moved on to something else by now \u2026<\/delete>.<\/insert> w<\/delete>W<\/insert>ell,<\/insert> I\u2019ll be honest;<\/delete>:<\/insert> I was lying through my teeth. There really isn\u2019t that much to<\/delete>o it <\/delete>\u2014<\/insert>\u2013 <\/delete>science, I mean<\/insert>.<\/insert>,<\/delete> S<\/insert>s<\/delete>cience is important, but it\u2019s not sexy, like fast cars or headlines about ambiguous racism that <\/insert>anyone can throw together<\/insert>r an opinion on<\/delete>. Them\u2019s<\/delete>ose are<\/insert> the facts,<\/insert> and them<\/delete>those<\/insert> facts is<\/delete>are<\/insert> boring as hell. God.<\/insert>d\u2026.<\/delete><\/insert><\/insert><\/p>\n

We can be 100%<\/delete>one hundred percent<\/insert> sure that no one will read this far down in the article, so I\u2019m just going to tell you a couple things about life as a scientist. I wake up every morning and put on my scientist pants one leg at a time, like everyone else<\/insert>. Who the fuck am I kidding? No one cares at all. Even if science can improve anyone\u2019s<\/delete>your<\/insert> life, reading an article about it won\u2019t do shit for anybody<\/delete>.<\/insert> <\/insert><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing scientific about my pants,<\/insert> either! Even if they were special science pants,<\/insert> you\u2019d get tired of checking them out before you\u2019d have<\/delete> reached mid-thigh. Aw shit <\/delete>\u2026 My <\/delete>m<\/insert><\/delete>M<\/delete>om was right<\/delete>\u2014<\/insert><\/delete>, <\/delete>the arts! the arts! The arts are where it\u2019s at! Sure<\/delete>,<\/insert><\/delete> your work isn\u2019t vital to mankind\u2019s well-being, but at least someone cares enough to read your work.<\/delete> <\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Dan Lastres May 26, 2015 A crack team of scientists, sociologists, and journalists from the University of Chicago recently have published a report definitively showing that you won\u2019t finish this article because it\u2019s about science. The researchers found that the average person\u2019s low attention span shrinks even further whileen they are reading articles about climate change, behavioral studies, or mental floss articles. You won’t finish this article because it’s about science, according to findings publishedpresented research conductedby a University of Chicago research group in June’s Scientific American‘s June edition. The combined unit of scientists, sociologists, and journalists determined that the average human attention span, already low, is reduced even further when attempting to read articles about climate change, behavioral studies, or pieces from Mental Floss magazine.the June 6 edition of Sciencelatest edition of journal Largely Unread Science Findings Neil DeGgrasse Tyson and Bill Nye the Science gGuy have been used employed as attention– getters to lure you into this second paragraph. However, they are the only two significantnotable celebrity scientists, and, let\u2019s be honest, they\u2019re burning through their fame pretty quickly. Scientists just don\u2019t have any good options left when it comes to keeping you reading. You will be shocked to hear, that there is nothing that shocking about this study. In fact, \u201cshock,\u201d \u201csurprise,\u201d and \u201camazing\u201d are words we tack on to study findings so people will click on them more oftenreadily. If you\u2019re still reading now, then you\u2019ll be amazed by what the mind –blowing facts we\u2019re going to share with you in the next paragraph! Oh. Y, ou\u2019re still here. I thought you\u2019d have moved on to something else by now \u2026. wWell, I\u2019ll be honest;: I was lying through my teeth. There really isn\u2019t that much too it \u2014\u2013 science, I mean., Sscience is important, but it\u2019s not sexy, like fast cars or headlines about ambiguous racism that anyone can throw togetherr an opinion on. Them\u2019sose are the facts, and themthose facts isare boring as hell. God.d\u2026. We can be 100%one hundred percent sure that no one will read this far down in the article, so I\u2019m just going to tell you a couple things about life as a scientist. I wake up every morning and put on my scientist pants one leg at a time, like everyone else. Who the fuck am I kidding? No one cares at all. Even if science can improve anyone\u2019syour life, reading an article about it won\u2019t do shit for anybody. There\u2019s nothing scientific about my pants, either! Even if they were special science pants, you\u2019d get tired of checking them out before you\u2019d have reached mid-thigh. Aw shit \u2026 My mMom was right\u2014, the arts! the arts! The arts are where it\u2019s at! Sure, your work isn\u2019t vital to mankind\u2019s well-being, but at least someone cares enough to read your work.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2033","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2033"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2033\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3066,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2033\/revisions\/3066"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2033"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2033"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2033"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}