{"id":2032,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/for-first-time-more-graduates-expected-to-cry-at-graduation-than-parents\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:59:21","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:59:21","slug":"for-first-time-more-graduates-expected-to-cry-at-graduation-than-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/for-first-time-more-graduates-expected-to-cry-at-graduation-than-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"For First Time, More Graduates Expected to Cry at Graduation than Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Evan Bernstein<\/a><\/h6>\n
May 26, 2015<\/h6>\n

According to a study <\/insert>newly released study from <\/delete>by <\/insert>the Polsky Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation <\/insert>at the University of Chicago, the bulk of the<\/insert> crying at this year\u2019s Spring<\/insert> c<\/delete>C<\/insert>onvocation, in a first,<\/insert> will be undertaken <\/insert>done <\/delete>by those receiving their diplomas. Whereas<\/delete>Though<\/insert> in previous years most of the tears have been shed by proud friends and family in attendance<\/delete>, this year\u2019s graduation promises to tip that balance towards the <\/delete>graduates.<\/insert><\/insert><\/p>\n

The study makes numerous guesses<\/delete>puts forth numerous hypotheses<\/insert> as to what could be driving<\/delete>regarding drivers of this<\/insert> <\/delete>t<\/delete>h<\/delete>i<\/delete>s<\/delete> phenomenon. The Chicago Shady <\/insert>Dealer<\/em> has compiled a list of the most compelling hypotheses:<\/insert><\/p>\n

1. This is the last time you will ever see any of your friends.<\/insert><\/p>\n

2. You still don\u2019t know what you\u2019re doing with your life.<\/insert><\/p>\n

3. Meeting people is so g<\/insert>G<\/delete>od <\/delete>damn hard.<\/insert><\/p>\n

4. What the hell do you do with a degree in philosophy??<\/delete><\/insert><\/p>\n

5. You\u2019re in so much fucking debt.<\/insert><\/p>\n

6. You don\u2019t have anywhere to live tomorrow.<\/insert><\/p>\n

7. It all happened so fast. <\/delete><\/insert><\/p>\n

8. The future is a black cloud of dust sucking you in,<\/insert> and you can\u2019t escape it no matter how hard you try.<\/insert><\/p>\n

9. You never got to hook up with Chelsea.<\/insert><\/p>\n

10. This is the worst day of your entire life.<\/insert><\/p>\n

11. You just keep repeating the words \u201c<\/delete>This isn\u2019t happening<\/i>\u201d<\/delete> over and over again in your head.<\/insert><\/p>\n

12. You never thought it would end like this.<\/insert><\/p>\n

13. You\u2019re all out of bullshit, man. No bullshit left.<\/insert><\/p>\n

14. There are so many things you wish you had done, and even more you wish you hadn\u2019t.<\/insert><\/p>\n

15. This is the last day you\u2019ll ever truly be happy.<\/insert><\/p>\n

The Chicago Shady Dealer<\/em> would like to<\/delete> congratulates<\/insert> the entire <\/delete>c<\/delete>C<\/insert>lass of 2015 on making it this far. Well done! <\/delete>Good luck in the future, and always remember: you can never go back. We will be here long after you\u2019re gone, long after you\u2019re gone, long after you\u2019re gone.<\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Evan Bernstein May 26, 2015 According to a study newly released study from by the Polsky Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation at the University of Chicago, the bulk of the crying at this year\u2019s Spring cConvocation, in a first, will be undertaken done by those receiving their diplomas. WhereasThough in previous years most of the tears have been shed by proud friends and family in attendance, this year\u2019s graduation promises to tip that balance towards the graduates. The study makes numerous guessesputs forth numerous hypotheses as to what could be drivingregarding drivers of this this phenomenon. The Chicago Shady Dealer has compiled a list of the most compelling hypotheses: 1. This is the last time you will ever see any of your friends. 2. You still don\u2019t know what you\u2019re doing with your life. 3. Meeting people is so gGod damn hard. 4. What the hell do you do with a degree in philosophy?? 5. You\u2019re in so much fucking debt. 6. You don\u2019t have anywhere to live tomorrow. 7. It all happened so fast. 8. The future is a black cloud of dust sucking you in, and you can\u2019t escape it no matter how hard you try. 9. You never got to hook up with Chelsea. 10. This is the worst day of your entire life. 11. You just keep repeating the words \u201cThis isn\u2019t happening\u201d over and over again in your head. 12. You never thought it would end like this. 13. You\u2019re all out of bullshit, man. No bullshit left. 14. There are so many things you wish you had done, and even more you wish you hadn\u2019t. 15. This is the last day you\u2019ll ever truly be happy. The Chicago Shady Dealer would like to congratulates the entire cClass of 2015 on making it this far. Well done! Good luck in the future, and always remember: you can never go back. We will be here long after you\u2019re gone, long after you\u2019re gone, long after you\u2019re gone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2032"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2032\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3065,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2032\/revisions\/3065"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}