{"id":2027,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/study-fear-of-snakes-totally-reasonable\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:59:20","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:59:20","slug":"study-fear-of-snakes-totally-reasonable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/study-fear-of-snakes-totally-reasonable\/","title":{"rendered":"Study: Fear of Snakes “Totally Reasonable”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Daniel Moattar<\/a><\/h6>\n
May 26, 2015<\/h6>\n

Study: Fear of Snakes \u201cTotally Reasonable\u201d<\/delete>The fear of snakes is a completely sensible reaction to environmental factors, including extreme fucking deadliness and terrifying goddamn slithery noises<\/delete>Researchers at Johns Hopkins University reported in a study released today, t<\/delete>T<\/insert>he fear of snakes is a completely sensible reaction to several environmental factors, including extreme fucking deadliness and terrifying goddamn slithery noises<\/insert>, a herpetology rR<\/delete>esearch team at Johns Hopkins University reported in a study released today<\/insert><\/insert>.<\/delete><\/insert><\/p>\n

\u201cSnakes are petrifyingterrifying<\/delete>,\u201d said herpetologist Sandeep Krishnamurthy, Hopkins\u2019 Distinguished Professor of Herpetology and head of its newly established Department of Snake Defense. \u201cSnakes can bite you to death, squeeze you to death, envenom you, poison you, swallow you whole, swallow your friends and family\u2014it\u2019s like motherfucking Jurassic Park, only with snakes, and in real life, instead of in some bullshit movie<\/delete>. Snakes can crawl up in you and push you around like a weird little hand puppet. <\/delete>If you see a snake, run away, or don\u2019t, because it\u2019ll catch up to you anyway.Snakes are fas<\/delete> <\/delete>Snakes are faster than cars<\/delete><\/insert>\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

Citing a recent incident in which large groups of snakes swam upstream from Florida as far north as Washington, D.C., Krishnamurthy suggested snakes were growing more intelligent, perhaps with an eye to world conquest.<\/insert><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s next?\u201d Krishnamurthy asked. \u201cSnakes driving cars, snakes flying planes. Snakes taking our jobe<\/delete>s. Snakes managing our economy. Snakes in the sewers, coming up through the pipes in your house while you\u2019re enjoying a little quiet time with \/<\/delete>Newsweek<\/i>\/<\/delete> or the Sears catalog. Snakes biting you to death. You\u2019ll be bitten to death by a snake, on the butt. They have special butt venom. Snake B<\/insert>b<\/delete>utt D<\/insert>d<\/delete>eath <\/insert>eath by butt<\/delete><\/insert>The <\/delete>death<\/delete> <\/delete>is slow and painful.\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

\u201cSnakes,\u201d he concluded<\/insert>added,<\/delete>,<\/delete><\/insert> in a tone of subdued hysteria.<\/insert>At press time, even spaghetti was looking suspect.<\/delete><\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Daniel Moattar May 26, 2015 Study: Fear of Snakes \u201cTotally Reasonable\u201dThe fear of snakes is a completely sensible reaction to environmental factors, including extreme fucking deadliness and terrifying goddamn slithery noisesResearchers at Johns Hopkins University reported in a study released today, tThe fear of snakes is a completely sensible reaction to several environmental factors, including extreme fucking deadliness and terrifying goddamn slithery noises, a herpetology rResearch team at Johns Hopkins University reported in a study released today. \u201cSnakes are petrifyingterrifying,\u201d said herpetologist Sandeep Krishnamurthy, Hopkins\u2019 Distinguished Professor of Herpetology and head of its newly established Department of Snake Defense. \u201cSnakes can bite you to death, squeeze you to death, envenom you, poison you, swallow you whole, swallow your friends and family\u2014it\u2019s like motherfucking Jurassic Park, only with snakes, and in real life, instead of in some bullshit movie. Snakes can crawl up in you and push you around like a weird little hand puppet. If you see a snake, run away, or don\u2019t, because it\u2019ll catch up to you anyway.Snakes are fas Snakes are faster than cars\u201d Citing a recent incident in which large groups of snakes swam upstream from Florida as far north as Washington, D.C., Krishnamurthy suggested snakes were growing more intelligent, perhaps with an eye to world conquest. \u201cWhat\u2019s next?\u201d Krishnamurthy asked. \u201cSnakes driving cars, snakes flying planes. Snakes taking our jobes. Snakes managing our economy. Snakes in the sewers, coming up through the pipes in your house while you\u2019re enjoying a little quiet time with \/Newsweek\/ or the Sears catalog. Snakes biting you to death. You\u2019ll be bitten to death by a snake, on the butt. They have special butt venom. Snake Bbutt Ddeath eath by buttThe death is slow and painful.\u201d \u201cSnakes,\u201d he concludedadded,, in a tone of subdued hysteria.At press time, even spaghetti was looking suspect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2027"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2027"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2027\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3060,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2027\/revisions\/3060"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}