{"id":2026,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/mit-scientists-unsure-what-you-did-in-chem-lab\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:59:20","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:59:20","slug":"mit-scientists-unsure-what-you-did-in-chem-lab","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/mit-scientists-unsure-what-you-did-in-chem-lab\/","title":{"rendered":"MIT Scientists Unsure What You Did in Chem Lab"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Morgan Pantuck<\/a><\/h6>\n
May 26, 2015<\/h6>\n

Citing your product\u2019s unusual color, texture, and melting point, <\/delete><\/insert>Citing your product\u2019s unusual color, texture, and melting point, a panel of MIT\u2019s top scientists confirmed today that they have absolutely no clue what you\u2019ve created in the laboratory portion of your organic chemistry class, nor do they understand how you managed to screw up the procedure so badly. <\/insert><\/p>\n

\u201cThis was supposed to be a simple lab,\u201d reports Institute Professor of Chemical Engineering Dr. Olivia Mulligan. \u201cSophomores regularly synthesize hexaphenylbenzene with little to no difficulty. Yet, this product, which is supposed to be an odorless white powder, looks more like a pile of melted Starburst, and smells like the last cough of a dying man.\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

Researchers originally tried to solve the puzzle by checking your reflux set-up, and asking if you added all the reagents in the correct volume and order. After rolling their eyes at your claim to have followed the procedure exactly, the panel glanced over your laboratory notebook, but surprisingly failed to find any written errors. \u201cHuh,\u201d the scientists remarked, looking back and forth between your anxiety-ridden face and the sticky, bubbling goop you created. <\/insert><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I didn\u2019t clean my glassware well enough?\u201d you offered, hesitatingly, while three tenured professors gawked at your apparent incompetence. \u201cIt\u2019s almost impressive, frankly,\u201d commented Nobel Laureate Dr. Kenneth Wu. \u201cI don\u2019t think I could\u2019ve done this even if I wanted to. I mean, seriously, why is it red?\u201d<\/em><\/insert><\/p>\n

<\/em>Eventually, after rubbing their temples and questioning the nature of causality for quite some time, the researchers offered: \u201cTry adding some acetone, I guess?\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

According to reports, you will be docked several points for your mistakes, especially for your melting point, which is 50 degrees above the accepted literature value. This assessment of your lab work represents the latest in a series of unfair grading decisions, given that you tried your hardest and didn\u2019t even break anything this week.<\/insert><\/p>\n

At press time, you\u2019ve decided to start cheating in your organic chemistry class. <\/insert><\/p>\n

a panel of <\/insert><\/delete>MIT <\/delete>materials<\/insert><\/delete> scientists <\/delete>and researchexperimental<\/delete> chemists <\/insert><\/delete> <\/delete>confirmed today that they have absolutely no clue what you\u2019ve created in the laboratory portion of your organic chemistry class, nor <\/delete>do they understandknow<\/delete> <\/insert><\/delete>how you managed to screw up the procedure so badly. <\/delete><\/insert>\u201cThis was supposed to be a simple lab,\u201d reports Dr. Olivia Mulligan, <\/delete>Institute<\/insert>P<\/delete>Robert Mulliken<\/delete><\/insert>rimo Levi<\/delete> Distinguished<\/delete> <\/insert>head<\/delete>Distinguished<\/delete>Professor of Chemical Engineering Dr. Olivia Mulligan<\/insert><\/insert> of MIT\u2019s Chemical Sciences department<\/delete>. \u201cSophomores regularly synthesize hexaphenylbenzene with little to no difficulty. Yet this product, which is supposed to be an odorless white powder, looks more like a pile of melted s<\/delete>S<\/insert>tarbursts<\/delete>, and it <\/delete>smells like the last cough of a dying man.\u201d<\/insert><\/delete>Researchers originally tried<\/delete>sought<\/insert> to solve<\/delete>address the nature of the substance<\/insert> the puzzl<\/delete>e<\/delete> by checking<\/delete>reexamining<\/insert> your reflux set-up, and asking<\/delete>ensuring<\/insert> i<\/delete>that<\/insert>f<\/delete> you added all the reagents in the correct volume and in the right<\/delete> order. After rolling their eyes at your claim that you you claimed to have <\/delete>followed the procedure exactly, the panel<\/insert> glanced over<\/delete>at<\/insert> your laboratory notebook, but<\/insert>and<\/delete> were, startlingly, unable <\/insert>to find any written errors. \u201cHuh,,<\/delete>?<\/delete><\/insert>\u201d the scientists remarked, looking <\/delete>shifting their gazes uneasily<\/insert>uneasily<\/delete><\/insert> between your anxiety-ridden face and the possible new state of matter<\/insert> <\/insert>you somehow <\/insert>created. <\/insert><\/delete> \u201cMaybe I didn\u2019t clean my glassware well enough?\u201d you offered, hesitatingly, while three tenured professors gawked at your apparent incompetence. \u201cIt\u2019s almost impressive, frankly,\u201d commented Nobel Laureate Dr.<\/insert>Prize winner Dr.<\/delete> Kenneth Wu. \u201cI don\u2019t think I could\u2019ve done this even if I‘d<\/insert> wanted to. I mean<\/delete>, seriously,<\/delete> w<\/delete>W<\/insert>hy is it red <\/i>now<\/insert>?\u201d<\/em><\/insert><\/delete> <\/em>Eventually, a<\/delete>A<\/insert>fter rubbing their temples and questioning the very <\/insert>nature of causality for quite some time, the researchers offered,<\/delete>suggested maybe adding some acetone or something.<\/insert>\ufeff<\/delete><\/insert>:<\/delete> \u201c<\/delete>T<\/delete>T<\/insert><\/delete>ry adding some acetone,<\/delete>\ufeff<\/delete><\/insert> <\/delete> I guess?<\/delete>?<\/delete>\ufeff<\/delete><\/insert>\u201d<\/delete><\/insert><\/delete>According to the panel’s <\/insert>reports, you will be docked several points for your mistakes, <\/delete>\u2014<\/insert>especial<\/delete>particularly<\/insert>l<\/delete>y<\/delete> for your melting point, which is 50 degrees above the literature value, and 23 degrees above that thought possible by science<\/delete><\/insert>accepted literature value<\/delete>value given in the literature<\/delete><\/insert>. This assessment of your lab work <\/insert>represents the latest in a series of unfair grading moves<\/delete>decisions<\/insert>, given that you tried your hardest and didn\u2019t even break anything today.<\/insert><\/delete>At press time, y<\/delete>ou’ve decided to start cheating in your organic chemistry class.<\/insert><\/delete>\ufeff<\/delete><\/insert>\ufeff<\/delete><\/insert> to<\/delete> start cheating<\/delete> in<\/delete>\ufeff<\/insert><\/delete> your<\/delete> organic chemistry class.<\/delete> <\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Morgan Pantuck May 26, 2015 Citing your product\u2019s unusual color, texture, and melting point, Citing your product\u2019s unusual color, texture, and melting point, a panel of MIT\u2019s top scientists confirmed today that they have absolutely no clue what you\u2019ve created in the laboratory portion of your organic chemistry class, nor do they understand how you managed to screw up the procedure so badly. \u201cThis was supposed to be a simple lab,\u201d reports Institute Professor of Chemical Engineering Dr. Olivia Mulligan. \u201cSophomores regularly synthesize hexaphenylbenzene with little to no difficulty. Yet, this product, which is supposed to be an odorless white powder, looks more like a pile of melted Starburst, and smells like the last cough of a dying man.\u201d Researchers originally tried to solve the puzzle by checking your reflux set-up, and asking if you added all the reagents in the correct volume and order. After rolling their eyes at your claim to have followed the procedure exactly, the panel glanced over your laboratory notebook, but surprisingly failed to find any written errors. \u201cHuh,\u201d the scientists remarked, looking back and forth between your anxiety-ridden face and the sticky, bubbling goop you created. \u201cMaybe I didn\u2019t clean my glassware well enough?\u201d you offered, hesitatingly, while three tenured professors gawked at your apparent incompetence. \u201cIt\u2019s almost impressive, frankly,\u201d commented Nobel Laureate Dr. Kenneth Wu. \u201cI don\u2019t think I could\u2019ve done this even if I wanted to. I mean, seriously, why is it red?\u201d Eventually, after rubbing their temples and questioning the nature of causality for quite some time, the researchers offered: \u201cTry adding some acetone, I guess?\u201d According to reports, you will be docked several points for your mistakes, especially for your melting point, which is 50 degrees above the accepted literature value. This assessment of your lab work represents the latest in a series of unfair grading decisions, given that you tried your hardest and didn\u2019t even break anything this week. At press time, you\u2019ve decided to start cheating in your organic chemistry class. a panel of MIT materials scientists and researchexperimental chemists confirmed today that they have absolutely no clue what you\u2019ve created in the laboratory portion of your organic chemistry class, nor do they understandknow how you managed to screw up the procedure so badly. \u201cThis was supposed to be a simple lab,\u201d reports Dr. Olivia Mulligan, InstitutePRobert Mullikenrimo Levi Distinguished headDistinguishedProfessor of Chemical Engineering Dr. Olivia Mulligan of MIT\u2019s Chemical Sciences department. \u201cSophomores regularly synthesize hexaphenylbenzene with little to no difficulty. Yet this product, which is supposed to be an odorless white powder, looks more like a pile of melted sStarbursts, and it smells like the last cough of a dying man.\u201dResearchers originally triedsought to solveaddress the nature of the substance the puzzle by checkingreexamining your reflux set-up, and askingensuring ithatf you added all the reagents in the correct volume and in the right order. After rolling their eyes at your claim that you you claimed to have followed the procedure exactly, the panel glanced overat your laboratory notebook, butand were, startlingly, unable to find any written errors. \u201cHuh,,?\u201d the scientists remarked, looking shifting their gazes uneasilyuneasily between your anxiety-ridden face and the possible new state of matter you somehow created. \u201cMaybe I didn\u2019t clean my glassware well enough?\u201d you offered, hesitatingly, while three tenured professors gawked at your apparent incompetence. \u201cIt\u2019s almost impressive, frankly,\u201d commented Nobel Laureate Dr.Prize winner Dr. Kenneth Wu. \u201cI don\u2019t think I could\u2019ve done this even if I‘d wanted to. I mean, seriously, wWhy is it red now?\u201d Eventually, aAfter rubbing their temples and questioning the very nature of causality for quite some time, the researchers offered,suggested maybe adding some acetone or something.\ufeff: \u201cTTry adding some acetone,\ufeff I guess??\ufeff\u201dAccording to the panel’s reports, you will be docked several points for your mistakes, \u2014especialparticularlyly for your melting point, which is 50 degrees above the literature value, and 23 degrees above that thought possible by scienceaccepted literature valuevalue given in the literature. This assessment of your lab work represents the latest in a series of unfair grading movesdecisions, given that you tried your hardest and didn\u2019t even break anything today.At press time, you’ve decided to start cheating in your organic chemistry class.\ufeff\ufeff to start cheating in\ufeff your organic chemistry class.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2026"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2026"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2026\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3059,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2026\/revisions\/3059"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2026"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2026"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2026"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}