{"id":2022,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/shes-not-my-girlfriend-mom\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:59:19","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:59:19","slug":"shes-not-my-girlfriend-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/shes-not-my-girlfriend-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"She’s Not My Girlfriend, Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Walker King<\/a><\/h6>\n
May 26, 2015<\/h6>\n<\/p>\n

<\/delete>Mom, I appreciate all you\u2019ve done for me. Were it not for the fact that you selflessly<\/delete> feed and clothe me, and selflessly allow me to e let me <\/delete>sleep in your warm house, I don’t know how I would I don\u2019t know how I would <\/delete>muster up <\/delete>the strength to go to school every day\u2014<\/insert>\u2013 <\/delete><\/insert>. L<\/delete>l<\/insert>et alone serve as<\/insert>be<\/delete> the treasurer of the state\u2019s second–<\/insert> <\/delete>highest–<\/insert> <\/delete>ranked thespian ensemble! But if our conflict-free cohabitation is to continue, I need to make one thing absolutely clear to you. Mom, Lauren is not my girlfriend.<\/insert><\/p>\n

I understand<\/insert> why you would misunderstand the nature of our relationship. <\/insert>to <\/delete>your misunderstanding. <\/delete>Lauren and I have been spending a lot of time together after thespian meetings are over. Sometimes,<\/insert> we sit right next to each other on the couch when there\u2019s still a ton of other <\/delete>couch we could be sitting on.nd<\/delete> I\u2019ll admit that that one time we were actually holding hands on the couch, but that was just so I could<\/insert>t<\/delete>o<\/delete> see what it\u2019s like to hold hands with someone. <\/insert><\/p>\n

It frustrates me, however, that <\/insert>y<\/insert>Y<\/delete>ou continue to insist that continued insistence that<\/delete> Lauren is my girlfriend. You call herncluding<\/delete> calling her<\/delete> \u201cyour little girlfriend.<\/insert>,<\/delete>\u201d Y<\/insert>y<\/delete>ou ask me, \u201cD<\/delete>D<\/insert>d<\/delete><\/insert>id you see your girlfriend today?\u201d and you tell elling <\/delete>Dad that I was \u201cnecking with my girlfriend.\u201d It has to stop. Also,<\/insert> we weren\u2019t \u201cnecking.\u201d I had to tell her a secret by whispering it in her ear, Mom<\/em>. <\/insert><\/p>\n

And by the way, I can see that <\/delete>whenever I correct you, <\/delete>when I gently remind you that Lauren is not my girlfriend, you roll your eyes and smile as you\u2019re turning away from me. I know that you think my personal life is just <\/delete>one<\/delete>a<\/insert><\/delete> big joke, but patronizing my feelings in this way is very hurtful<\/delete>. <\/delete><\/insert>, and I urge you to reconsider how you will respond to my reasonable request in the future.<\/delete>easonable request that you stop calling Lauren my girlfriend. <\/delete> in the future. <\/delete>s in the future. <\/delete>t that you not call Lauren my g<\/delete> in the future.<\/delete><\/insert>Lauren has always been a great friend to me, maybe even a best friend, and I would never want anyone to think we were something more than that. Our friendship has been forged in trials. L<\/delete>, l<\/insert>ike the time we were at thespian regional competition and she realized she forgot her pitch pipe in the car and wouldn\u2019t be able to begin the a capella section of our performance by playing B sharp with her perfect lips. Did Dylan M. run out to the car in his tuxedo to get it? No, he did not. He probably didn\u2019t want to mess up his perfect hair. Only I make those sacrifices for Lauren, as that <\/delete>a true best friend would.<\/insert><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll admit that sometimes I\u2019ve thought about asking Lauren if she would want to be something more than just a best friend, <\/delete>\u2014<\/insert>perhaps even a girlfriend. Many a late night,<\/insert> I\u2019ve rolled around in bed thinking about her perfectly crimped hair, the way her wrist glows when the sunlight hits her charm bracelet, or the way she looked the day sheke that time<\/delete>when she<\/delete> wore a tight-fitting t-shirt to the thespian meeting. But I always return to one true fact: friendship is better than love with the most beautiful woman in the world because friends never break up. Besides, she\u2019s totally dating Dylan M. So please, Mom, listen to me: she is not, and let\u2019s face it, probably will never be, my girlfriend. <\/insert><\/insert><\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Walker King May 26, 2015 Mom, I appreciate all you\u2019ve done for me. Were it not for the fact that you selflessly feed and clothe me, and selflessly allow me to e let me sleep in your warm house, I don’t know how I would I don\u2019t know how I would muster up the strength to go to school every day\u2014\u2013 . Llet alone serve asbe the treasurer of the state\u2019s second– highest– ranked thespian ensemble! But if our conflict-free cohabitation is to continue, I need to make one thing absolutely clear to you. Mom, Lauren is not my girlfriend. I understand why you would misunderstand the nature of our relationship. to your misunderstanding. Lauren and I have been spending a lot of time together after thespian meetings are over. Sometimes, we sit right next to each other on the couch when there\u2019s still a ton of other couch we could be sitting on.nd I\u2019ll admit that that one time we were actually holding hands on the couch, but that was just so I couldto see what it\u2019s like to hold hands with someone. It frustrates me, however, that yYou continue to insist that continued insistence that Lauren is my girlfriend. You call herncluding calling her \u201cyour little girlfriend.,\u201d Yyou ask me, \u201cDDdid you see your girlfriend today?\u201d and you tell elling Dad that I was \u201cnecking with my girlfriend.\u201d It has to stop. Also, we weren\u2019t \u201cnecking.\u201d I had to tell her a secret by whispering it in her ear, Mom. And by the way, I can see that whenever I correct you, when I gently remind you that Lauren is not my girlfriend, you roll your eyes and smile as you\u2019re turning away from me. I know that you think my personal life is just onea big joke, but patronizing my feelings in this way is very hurtful. , and I urge you to reconsider how you will respond to my reasonable request in the future.easonable request that you stop calling Lauren my girlfriend. in the future. s in the future. t that you not call Lauren my g in the future.Lauren has always been a great friend to me, maybe even a best friend, and I would never want anyone to think we were something more than that. Our friendship has been forged in trials. L, like the time we were at thespian regional competition and she realized she forgot her pitch pipe in the car and wouldn\u2019t be able to begin the a capella section of our performance by playing B sharp with her perfect lips. Did Dylan M. run out to the car in his tuxedo to get it? No, he did not. He probably didn\u2019t want to mess up his perfect hair. Only I make those sacrifices for Lauren, as that a true best friend would. I\u2019ll admit that sometimes I\u2019ve thought about asking Lauren if she would want to be something more than just a best friend, \u2014perhaps even a girlfriend. Many a late night, I\u2019ve rolled around in bed thinking about her perfectly crimped hair, the way her wrist glows when the sunlight hits her charm bracelet, or the way she looked the day sheke that timewhen she wore a tight-fitting t-shirt to the thespian meeting. But I always return to one true fact: friendship is better than love with the most beautiful woman in the world because friends never break up. Besides, she\u2019s totally dating Dylan M. So please, Mom, listen to me: she is not, and let\u2019s face it, probably will never be, my girlfriend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2022"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3055,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2022\/revisions\/3055"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}