<\/p>\n
First-year Jack Bailey of Coulter House was seen trying to hide his girlfriend, first-year Amy Xuhao, from his parents when they visited last weekend. Bailey carefully avoided mentioning his O-Mance to his parents and spent the weekend keeping his girlfriend inside her double at Blackstone. The family toured campus and visited the historical buildings surrounding Hyde Park. What the Bailey parents didn\u2019t know was that Xuhao was only a few blocks away in her dorm room, thinking about her next date with their son. The last thing on their mind was the possibility of their son ever getting laid.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s not even my girlfriend, I swear,\u201d said Bailey. \u201cWe\u2019re just talking.\u201d <\/p>\n
Xuhao, however, had a different point of view on the relationship.<\/p>\n
“We’ve been dating ever since we matched on Tinder after a Chicago Life Meeting,” said Xuhao. “He even took me to Bar Night. It was so romantic, and the Alpha Delta Phi brothers are really poetic.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tAn investigative journalist followed the case all the way to an anonymous informant who is close to the couple. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s difficult for them to maintain a relationship like this, but they have such a connection,” said the informant. “One time, he even texted her that she was \u2018UChicago Hot\u2019. There aren\u2019t many people sweet enough to say that, you know? I don\u2019t think Jack would really hide Amy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tUCPD reports reveal that Bailey was seen looking sort of “squirrely” and “weird\u201d during the weekend. These reports confirm initial speculation that Bailey was hiding something. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s obvious that this kid was hiding something.\u201d said Marlon C. Lynch, Associate Vice President for Safety, Security, and Civic Affairs. \u201cWe see this all the time, and it\u2019s important that we catch it sooner than later. Everyone must review commonsense.uchicago.edu so they know what to do when this happens to again. Be aware of your surroundings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tBailey and Xuhao are still dating, and can be found near and around Blackstone.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s the excitement that really keeps our love so fresh,” said Xuhao. “It\u2019s like the roiling of a thunderstorm that will forcefully strike your ears with mighty claps, leaving you anticipating each hit with unbridled exhilaration.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bailey offered his input into what makes his relationship with Xuhao so beautiful.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat relationship? I barely know this person… really!”said Bailey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By David North Oct. 16, 2015 First-year Jack Bailey of Coulter House was seen trying to hide his girlfriend, first-year Amy Xuhao, from his parents when they visited last weekend. Bailey carefully avoided mentioning his O-Mance to his parents and spent the weekend keeping his girlfriend inside her double at Blackstone. The family toured campus and visited the historical buildings surrounding Hyde Park. What the Bailey parents didn\u2019t know was that Xuhao was only a few blocks away in her dorm room, thinking about her next date with their son. The last thing on their mind was the possibility of their son ever getting laid. \u201cShe\u2019s not even my girlfriend, I swear,\u201d said Bailey. \u201cWe\u2019re just talking.\u201d Xuhao, however, had a different point of view on the relationship. “We’ve been dating ever since we matched on Tinder after a Chicago Life Meeting,” said Xuhao. “He even took me to Bar Night. It was so romantic, and the Alpha Delta Phi brothers are really poetic.\u201d An investigative journalist followed the case all the way to an anonymous informant who is close to the couple. \u201cIt\u2019s difficult for them to maintain a relationship like this, but they have such a connection,” said the informant. “One time, he even texted her that she was \u2018UChicago Hot\u2019. There aren\u2019t many people sweet enough to say that, you know? I don\u2019t think Jack would really hide Amy.\u201d UCPD reports reveal that Bailey was seen looking sort of “squirrely” and “weird\u201d during the weekend. These reports confirm initial speculation that Bailey was hiding something. \u201cIt\u2019s obvious that this kid was hiding something.\u201d said Marlon C. Lynch, Associate Vice President for Safety, Security, and Civic Affairs. \u201cWe see this all the time, and it\u2019s important that we catch it sooner than later. Everyone must review commonsense.uchicago.edu so they know what to do when this happens to again. Be aware of your surroundings.\u201d Bailey and Xuhao are still dating, and can be found near and around Blackstone. \u201cIt\u2019s the excitement that really keeps our love so fresh,” said Xuhao. “It\u2019s like the roiling of a thunderstorm that will forcefully strike your ears with mighty claps, leaving you anticipating each hit with unbridled exhilaration.\u201d Bailey offered his input into what makes his relationship with Xuhao so beautiful. \u201cWhat relationship? I barely know this person… really!”said Bailey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1987"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1987\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3020,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1987\/revisions\/3020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}