{"id":1925,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/the-golden-man-in-the-oscar-should-hold-a-tinier-golder-oscar\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:57","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:57","slug":"the-golden-man-in-the-oscar-should-hold-a-tinier-golder-oscar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/the-golden-man-in-the-oscar-should-hold-a-tinier-golder-oscar\/","title":{"rendered":"The Golden Man In the Oscar Should Hold a Tinier, Golder Oscar"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Daniel Ruttenberg<\/a><\/h6>\n
Dec. 31, 2015<\/h6>\n

<\/insert>1. The Golden Man Might Get Lonely!<\/delete>\tPeople aren\u2019t the only ones who get lonely, you know. The Golden Man deserves a friend too. <\/delete>2. The Oscar Award really should depict what the person is doing.<\/insert><\/delete>\tDo sports awards show people standing up and doing nothing? Nah, they\u2019re showing cool-ass action shots. What\u2019s the O<\/insert>o<\/delete>scar award winner doing? Winning an award. I rest my case.<\/delete>3. It\u2019s getting old!<\/delete>\tGotta spruce up the moose every once in awhile. America is tired of seeing the same shtick over and over again. It\u2019s time for a new Oscar, with a s<\/delete>T<\/insert>S<\/delete><\/insert>h<\/delete>inier,<\/insert> G<\/insert>g<\/delete>older M<\/insert>G<\/delete><\/insert>m<\/delete>an.<\/delete>4. People might think that the Oscar Award is supposed to celebrate the James Bond movie <\/insert>Goldfinger<\/i>.<\/insert><\/delete>\tWe all gotta agree that Goldfinger<\/i> was a cinematic masterpiece, but if people see one gold man on an Oscar, they might think that the award was supposed to celebrate that movie. Having two people on the Oscar would clarify things right a-friggin-way.<\/insert><\/delete>5. People who have earned a second Oscar must be sad that they get the statue again.<\/insert><\/delete>\tHow would you feel if you got a Nintendo WiiU from your family one Christmas, only to get another WiiU the next Christmas? Pretty crappy, I do imagine. Two-time Oscar winners must feel the same way! If they get a new award with their classic Golden Man, but also a Tinier,<\/insert> Golder M<\/insert>m<\/delete>an, that\u2019d liven things up.<\/delete>6. The Golden Man\u2019s gotta be doing something with his hands!<\/delete>\tSome fellas just need to be fiddling around with something to calm down. The Golden Man has been doing nothing with his hands for so long; he must be really stressed! Giving him something to keep his hands busy, like holding an award, will do wonders.<\/delete>7. We don\u2019t want the Japanese to think we\u2019re cheap!<\/delete>\tWhen they watch the Oscars, the Japanese probably are thinking,<\/insert> \u201cT<\/insert>t<\/delete>hose Oscars sure look pretty inexpensive. I bet the United States doesn\u2019t have that much gold in their pockets. Hahaha!\u201d Let\u2019s put those rumors to bed.<\/delete>8. It\u2019s time we celebrated The Golden Man\u2019s outstanding achievements.<\/insert><\/delete>\tThe Golden Man on the Oscar has been a H<\/insert>h<\/delete>ollywood legend for decades! It\u2019s about time he got a trophy.<\/delete>9. It\u2019s 2016.<\/insert> <\/delete>\tLet\u2019s get on it already!<\/delete><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Daniel Ruttenberg Dec. 31, 2015 1. The Golden Man Might Get Lonely! People aren\u2019t the only ones who get lonely, you know. The Golden Man deserves a friend too. 2. The Oscar Award really should depict what the person is doing. Do sports awards show people standing up and doing nothing? Nah, they\u2019re showing cool-ass action shots. What\u2019s the Ooscar award winner doing? Winning an award. I rest my case.3. It\u2019s getting old! Gotta spruce up the moose every once in awhile. America is tired of seeing the same shtick over and over again. It\u2019s time for a new Oscar, with a sTShinier, Ggolder MGman.4. People might think that the Oscar Award is supposed to celebrate the James Bond movie Goldfinger. We all gotta agree that Goldfinger was a cinematic masterpiece, but if people see one gold man on an Oscar, they might think that the award was supposed to celebrate that movie. Having two people on the Oscar would clarify things right a-friggin-way.5. People who have earned a second Oscar must be sad that they get the statue again. How would you feel if you got a Nintendo WiiU from your family one Christmas, only to get another WiiU the next Christmas? Pretty crappy, I do imagine. Two-time Oscar winners must feel the same way! If they get a new award with their classic Golden Man, but also a Tinier, Golder Mman, that\u2019d liven things up.6. The Golden Man\u2019s gotta be doing something with his hands! Some fellas just need to be fiddling around with something to calm down. The Golden Man has been doing nothing with his hands for so long; he must be really stressed! Giving him something to keep his hands busy, like holding an award, will do wonders.7. We don\u2019t want the Japanese to think we\u2019re cheap! When they watch the Oscars, the Japanese probably are thinking, \u201cTthose Oscars sure look pretty inexpensive. I bet the United States doesn\u2019t have that much gold in their pockets. Hahaha!\u201d Let\u2019s put those rumors to bed.8. It\u2019s time we celebrated The Golden Man\u2019s outstanding achievements. The Golden Man on the Oscar has been a Hhollywood legend for decades! It\u2019s about time he got a trophy.9. It\u2019s 2016. Let\u2019s get on it already!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1925","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1925","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1925"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1925\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2958,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1925\/revisions\/2958"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1925"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1925"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1925"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}