{"id":1883,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/dean-ellison-spends-romantic-valentines-day-answering-emails-from-risk-management\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:48","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:48","slug":"dean-ellison-spends-romantic-valentines-day-answering-emails-from-risk-management","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/dean-ellison-spends-romantic-valentines-day-answering-emails-from-risk-management\/","title":{"rendered":"Dean Ellison Spends Romantic Valentine\u2019s Day Answering Emails from Risk Management"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Walker King<\/a><\/h6>\n
Feb. 15, 2016<\/h6>\n

John \u201cJay\u201d Ellison, Dean of Students in the College at the University of Chicago, spent a romantic and relaxing Valentine\u2019s Day alone in his office, primarily responding to emails from the University\u2019s Office of Risk Management, according to sources close to the Dean.<\/insert><\/p>\n

<\/delete>After responding to every one of the dozens of legally volatile emails in his inbox with carefully worded instructions, the Dean was able to unwind with a sensual bubble bath, during which Ellison re-read every page of the legal liability waivers the University maintains with each campus fraternity, highlighting potentially exploitable<\/insert>osive<\/delete> passages to later forward to the University’s in-house legal counsel<\/insert>University\u2019s legal departmen<\/delete>t<\/delete>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can get so caught up to work from day to day, I don\u2019t stop to appreciate the more romantic side of my personality,\u201d said Ellison,<\/insert>.<\/delete> \u201cThat\u2019s why I like to take Valentine\u2019s day to remind myself that I am a man who needs <\/insert>to be loved, but also that I still need to draft a vague and legally unassailable campus-wide email for Monday morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Dean\u2019s sensual day began at five a.m., with \u201cbreakfast in bed,\u201d which is how the Dean refers to the stack of student <\/insert>sexual assault cases<\/insert>disputes<\/delete> delivered each week<\/insert>m<\/delete>orning<\/delete> to the small folding<\/insert>able<\/delete> cot underneath his desk. At 7 a.m.<\/insert>, the Dean enjoyed a bowl of plain oatmeal while texting his wife \u201chappy v-day honey. b home tuesday.\u201d Later, after responding to an email detailing a possible Title IX violation by the University, Ellison also indulged in a single Hershey\u2019s kiss, eaten over the course of 15 minutes.<\/p>\n

According to sources, the highlight of Dean Ellison\u2019s Valentine\u2019s Day was a Subway sandwich, eaten<\/insert> in his windowless<\/insert> office while taking an intimate and personal <\/insert>conference call with the legal representation of a professor accused of sexual harassment. Reports indicated that Ellison had obtained and lit a single “Fresh Cut Roses” scented Yankee Candle for the occasion.<\/insert><\/p>\n

At press time, <\/insert>Dean Ellison had crossed \u201cBobby\u2019s hockey game\u201d off of his day planner,<\/delete> and replaced it with \u201cforum on campus climate survey.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Walker King Feb. 15, 2016 John \u201cJay\u201d Ellison, Dean of Students in the College at the University of Chicago, spent a romantic and relaxing Valentine\u2019s Day alone in his office, primarily responding to emails from the University\u2019s Office of Risk Management, according to sources close to the Dean. After responding to every one of the dozens of legally volatile emails in his inbox with carefully worded instructions, the Dean was able to unwind with a sensual bubble bath, during which Ellison re-read every page of the legal liability waivers the University maintains with each campus fraternity, highlighting potentially exploitableosive passages to later forward to the University’s in-house legal counselUniversity\u2019s legal department. \u201cI can get so caught up to work from day to day, I don\u2019t stop to appreciate the more romantic side of my personality,\u201d said Ellison,. \u201cThat\u2019s why I like to take Valentine\u2019s day to remind myself that I am a man who needs to be loved, but also that I still need to draft a vague and legally unassailable campus-wide email for Monday morning.\u201d The Dean\u2019s sensual day began at five a.m., with \u201cbreakfast in bed,\u201d which is how the Dean refers to the stack of student sexual assault casesdisputes delivered each weekmorning to the small foldingable cot underneath his desk. At 7 a.m., the Dean enjoyed a bowl of plain oatmeal while texting his wife \u201chappy v-day honey. b home tuesday.\u201d Later, after responding to an email detailing a possible Title IX violation by the University, Ellison also indulged in a single Hershey\u2019s kiss, eaten over the course of 15 minutes. According to sources, the highlight of Dean Ellison\u2019s Valentine\u2019s Day was a Subway sandwich, eaten in his windowless office while taking an intimate and personal conference call with the legal representation of a professor accused of sexual harassment. Reports indicated that Ellison had obtained and lit a single “Fresh Cut Roses” scented Yankee Candle for the occasion. At press time, Dean Ellison had crossed \u201cBobby\u2019s hockey game\u201d off of his day planner, and replaced it with \u201cforum on campus climate survey.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1883"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1883\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2916,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1883\/revisions\/2916"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}