{"id":1878,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/apathetic-area-man-actually-just-pathetic\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:47","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:47","slug":"apathetic-area-man-actually-just-pathetic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/apathetic-area-man-actually-just-pathetic\/","title":{"rendered":"Apathetic Area Man Actually Just Pathetic"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Nico Aldape<\/a><\/h6>\n
Feb. 18, 2016<\/h6>\n

After a careful, objective investigation, sources close to the Shady Dealer <\/em>are reporting that apathetic area man Stanley Novo<\/insert>v<\/delete>\ufeff<\/delete><\/insert>o<\/delete>selic is actually just pathetic.<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, I thought he just didn\u2019t care about anything because there was no intrinsic value in it, but there have to be some exceptions for hygiene and all, right?<\/insert>\u201d said neighbor Quinn Bay. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t seem to have those exceptions.\u201d <\/p>\n

Other neighbors also shared words of concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe moved away from his wife and kids to go<\/insert> on a \u2018quest to discover himself as a man\u2019 or something<\/delete>,\u201d said neighbor Sonya Tang,<\/insert>.<\/delete> \u201cI don\u2019t know how that quest is going, but I do hear the click-clack<\/insert>ck<\/delete> of pool balls and the<\/delete> smell of <\/delete>cheap beer all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

When asked what he does with his own free time, Novoselic, who is unemployed,<\/insert> had this to say:<\/insert>.<\/delete><\/p>\n

\u201cI have this awesome, powerful computer for late-night World of Warcraft raids and my old frat listhost from college,\u201d explained Novoselic,<\/insert>.<\/delete> \u201cAlso, I try to be ecologically conscious and not wash my clothes, sheets, or body too often. People always give me ugly stares when I tell them that, but I\u2019m the one stopping global warming.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though hard to accomplish sometimes, Novoselic is also committed to eating a paleo diet for his own health. \u201cI mean, the paleo diet\u2019s all about organic meats and stuff, but it\u2019s kind of hard to afford it on my salary,\u201d<\/delete> While the diet, which focuses on organic meats and vegetables, can be expensive for some,<\/insert>said<\/delete> Novoselic, an occasional sperm donor, claims he can find all the meat he needs at McDonald’s or Harold’s Chicken Shack, “cooked just the way our ancestor‘<\/delete>s ate it.”<\/insert><\/p>\n

As an example<\/insert> of his paleo diet, Novoselic then proceeded to eat the Lunchable pepperoni slices that had been left under his sheets.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Nico Aldape Feb. 18, 2016 After a careful, objective investigation, sources close to the Shady Dealer are reporting that apathetic area man Stanley Novov\ufeffoselic is actually just pathetic. \u201cI mean, I thought he just didn\u2019t care about anything because there was no intrinsic value in it, but there have to be some exceptions for hygiene and all, right?\u201d said neighbor Quinn Bay. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t seem to have those exceptions.\u201d Other neighbors also shared words of concern. \u201cHe moved away from his wife and kids to go on a \u2018quest to discover himself as a man\u2019 or something,\u201d said neighbor Sonya Tang,. \u201cI don\u2019t know how that quest is going, but I do hear the click-clackck of pool balls and the smell of cheap beer all the time.\u201d When asked what he does with his own free time, Novoselic, who is unemployed, had this to say:. \u201cI have this awesome, powerful computer for late-night World of Warcraft raids and my old frat listhost from college,\u201d explained Novoselic,. \u201cAlso, I try to be ecologically conscious and not wash my clothes, sheets, or body too often. People always give me ugly stares when I tell them that, but I\u2019m the one stopping global warming.\u201d Though hard to accomplish sometimes, Novoselic is also committed to eating a paleo diet for his own health. \u201cI mean, the paleo diet\u2019s all about organic meats and stuff, but it\u2019s kind of hard to afford it on my salary,\u201d While the diet, which focuses on organic meats and vegetables, can be expensive for some,said Novoselic, an occasional sperm donor, claims he can find all the meat he needs at McDonald’s or Harold’s Chicken Shack, “cooked just the way our ancestor‘s ate it.” As an example of his paleo diet, Novoselic then proceeded to eat the Lunchable pepperoni slices that had been left under his sheets.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1878"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1878"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1878\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2911,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1878\/revisions\/2911"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}