{"id":1847,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/my-three-star-review-of-getting-dominos-to-bake-me-into-a-pizza\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:41","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:41","slug":"my-three-star-review-of-getting-dominos-to-bake-me-into-a-pizza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/my-three-star-review-of-getting-dominos-to-bake-me-into-a-pizza\/","title":{"rendered":"My Three-Star Review of Getting Dominos to Bake Me Into A Pizza"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Teddy Zamborsky<\/a><\/h6>\n
April 23, 2016<\/h6>\n

Last week, I convinced Domino\u2019s Pizza to bake me into a giant pie. A pizza pie. Like t<\/delete>T<\/insert>he kind with cheese, not fruit. Look at the picture,<\/insert>.<\/delete> y<\/insert>Y<\/delete>ou can spot <\/delete>see <\/insert>me. I\u2019m the sausage with a head on top of the pizza pie. I know, it looks like a breakfast sausage. I don\u2019t know why Domino\u2019s would put a breakfast sausage on a pizza pie. But they did, I am here.<\/insert><\/p>\n

\tLet me tell you, was that dough pillowy? You bet it was. Especially with their patented garlic<\/insert>c <\/delete>crust seasoning<\/delete>–<\/insert>seasoned crust<\/insert>, P<\/insert>p<\/delete>atent pending. I found the sauce to be rich in taste,<\/insert> and exfoliating on my skin. The sauce<\/delete>It<\/insert> seeped into my pores and stretched them all out, like any<\/insert> good exfoliator should. My pores look like well lubed pennies now.<\/p>\n

\tBut it wasn\u2019t all delicious face scrub and pillowy crust. Domino\u2019s is one of those weird places that bakes their toppings under the cheese of their pizza pie. So I didn\u2019t really have much of a view, as my eyes were all covered in pizza pie cheese. Have you ever had your eyes covered in pizza pie cheese? I bet Papa John\u2019s doesn\u2019t pull that shit. <\/p>\n

\tThe worst part? They forgot my Cinna-Sticks. Three stars.<\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Teddy Zamborsky April 23, 2016 Last week, I convinced Domino\u2019s Pizza to bake me into a giant pie. A pizza pie. Like tThe kind with cheese, not fruit. Look at the picture,. yYou can spot see me. I\u2019m the sausage with a head on top of the pizza pie. I know, it looks like a breakfast sausage. I don\u2019t know why Domino\u2019s would put a breakfast sausage on a pizza pie. But they did, I am here. Let me tell you, was that dough pillowy? You bet it was. Especially with their patented garlicc crust seasoning–seasoned crust, Ppatent pending. I found the sauce to be rich in taste, and exfoliating on my skin. The sauceIt seeped into my pores and stretched them all out, like any good exfoliator should. My pores look like well lubed pennies now. But it wasn\u2019t all delicious face scrub and pillowy crust. Domino\u2019s is one of those weird places that bakes their toppings under the cheese of their pizza pie. So I didn\u2019t really have much of a view, as my eyes were all covered in pizza pie cheese. Have you ever had your eyes covered in pizza pie cheese? I bet Papa John\u2019s doesn\u2019t pull that shit. The worst part? They forgot my Cinna-Sticks. Three stars.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1847","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1847"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1847\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2880,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1847\/revisions\/2880"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1847"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1847"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1847"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}