{"id":1816,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/first-year-clearly-faking-hickey\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:37","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:37","slug":"first-year-clearly-faking-hickey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/first-year-clearly-faking-hickey\/","title":{"rendered":"First Year Clearly Faking Hickey"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Daniel Ruttenberg<\/a><\/h6>\n
May 13, 2016<\/h6>\n

It is pretty damn obvious to all bystanders <\/insert>that first year Jack Rowler showed up to<\/insert>at<\/delete> Professor Hills‘<\/insert>\u2019<\/delete> Reading Cultures class with a fake hickey. <\/p>\n

\u201cI think he was trying to look embarrassed or something,” said fellow student Isaac Tennison. <\/insert>;<\/delete>H<\/insert>h<\/delete>e kept meandering between seats trying to look awkward or what he thought was \u2018awkward\u2019 which was weirdly awkward in its own right. <\/insert>,\u201d said fellow student Isaac Tennison. <\/delete>\u201c<\/delete>Does he think he\u2019s clever or something? It\u2019s just sort of disgusting.\u201d<\/p>\n

In an interview with <\/delete>t<\/insert><\/delete>T<\/delete>he <\/delete>Shady Dealer,<\/i><\/delete> Rowler said, \u201c<\/delete>O<\/insert>o<\/delete>h, this? What is it? <\/delete> This thing on my neck? Oh, um…noooo<\/delete>thing,<\/insert>\u201d said Rowler in<\/insert> an interview with the Shady Dealer<\/em> Rowler said, \u201c<\/delete><\/insert> as he looked up toward the sky contemplatively. \u201cYeah, it\u2019s probably just, like, my skin or… something,\u201d Rowler said as he scrunched up his face in an attempt to create the illusion of blushing.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is not the first time [Rowler] has tried to look like he came to class returning from an intimate night,\u201d reports Tennison, \u201cat one class we were talking about love in The Iliad and he said something like \u2018yeah, with regard to love– oh wait never mind\u2019 and then he faked awkward laughter. It took like<\/insert>a <\/delete>thirty seconds to get h<\/insert>thi<\/delete>s point across and absolutely no one believed him at all. Can\u2019t we talk about the book?\u201d<\/p>\n

When we asked for his name, he responded \u201coh…her…I mean, my<\/i><\/insert>my<\/delete>, name is Becky…<\/insert><\/insert><\/insert>Je<\/delete>n-<\/delete>Jack!<\/insert>.<\/delete> Stupid slip of the tongue. I\u2019m just so out of sorts; I had such a busy night last night.\u201d We made sure not to ask what Rowler did last night. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Daniel Ruttenberg May 13, 2016 It is pretty damn obvious to all bystanders that first year Jack Rowler showed up toat Professor Hills‘\u2019 Reading Cultures class with a fake hickey. \u201cI think he was trying to look embarrassed or something,” said fellow student Isaac Tennison. ;Hhe kept meandering between seats trying to look awkward or what he thought was \u2018awkward\u2019 which was weirdly awkward in its own right. ,\u201d said fellow student Isaac Tennison. \u201cDoes he think he\u2019s clever or something? It\u2019s just sort of disgusting.\u201d In an interview with tThe Shady Dealer, Rowler said, \u201cOoh, this? What is it? This thing on my neck? Oh, um…noooothing,\u201d said Rowler in an interview with the Shady Dealer Rowler said, \u201c as he looked up toward the sky contemplatively. \u201cYeah, it\u2019s probably just, like, my skin or… something,\u201d Rowler said as he scrunched up his face in an attempt to create the illusion of blushing. \u201cThis is not the first time [Rowler] has tried to look like he came to class returning from an intimate night,\u201d reports Tennison, \u201cat one class we were talking about love in The Iliad and he said something like \u2018yeah, with regard to love– oh wait never mind\u2019 and then he faked awkward laughter. It took likea thirty seconds to get hthis point across and absolutely no one believed him at all. Can\u2019t we talk about the book?\u201d When we asked for his name, he responded \u201coh…her…I mean, mymy, name is Becky…Jen-Jack!. Stupid slip of the tongue. I\u2019m just so out of sorts; I had such a busy night last night.\u201d We made sure not to ask what Rowler did last night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1816"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1816"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1816\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2849,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1816\/revisions\/2849"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1816"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1816"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1816"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}