{"id":1813,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/late-university-hieroglyph-researcher-leaves-extremely-confusing-will\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:37","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:37","slug":"late-university-hieroglyph-researcher-leaves-extremely-confusing-will","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/late-university-hieroglyph-researcher-leaves-extremely-confusing-will\/","title":{"rendered":"Late University Hieroglyph Researcher Leaves Extremely Confusing Will"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Ryan Fleishman<\/a><\/h6>\n
May 14, 2016<\/h6>\n

After a 5-year-long struggle against prostate cancer, University of Chicago hieroglyphics expert Canute Erickson finally overcame his often <\/insert>lethal illness. <\/delete> However, he was<\/insert>got<\/delete> hit by a red PT Cruiser while leaving the hospital and died. <\/delete> Erickson\u2019s death has left his friends, family, and colleagues feeling lost and confused, primarily because he wrote his entire will in hieroglyphics.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that Canute is gone, I just don\u2019t know what to do with myself or with Canute\u2019s corporeal possessions,\u201d said his brother Leif, who may or may not have inherited some of Canute\u2019s belongings. <\/delete> \u201cI assume that Canute wanted me to take care of his dog, but there is a squiggly line with a triangle in the middle next to a dog picture and I don\u2019t know what that means.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, the dog picture looks like a camel. <\/delete> Canute didn\u2019t own a camel, did he?\u201d <\/delete>added Leif.<\/p>\n

Much of the confusion over will stems from the fact that no one can tell the difference between hieroglyphs of people. <\/delete> Erickson seemed to have drawn multiple pictures of women in his will, but he was single at the time of his death and nobody knows who these pictures are referring to. <\/delete> The general consensus of readers is that he either wants to give his armoire to Becky in the Physics department or is telling Leif to delete the porn off his computer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI always knew Canute was a dickwad, but I never thought he was this large a dickwad,\u201d said fellow University of Chicago hieroglyphics researcher Esther Collins, who also may or may not <\/delete>have inherited some of<\/delete> Canute\u2019s rustic cabin on Lake Champlain.<\/insert>belongings.<\/delete> \u201cI\u2019d help people decipher the will, but I feel that Canute wouldn\u2019t want me to. <\/delete> Also, I find this whole <\/insert>situation hilarious.\u201d<\/p>\n

At press time, lawyers have found an addendum to the will in English saying \u201cAt least I didn\u2019t use Cuneiform.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Ryan Fleishman May 14, 2016 After a 5-year-long struggle against prostate cancer, University of Chicago hieroglyphics expert Canute Erickson finally overcame his often lethal illness. However, he wasgot hit by a red PT Cruiser while leaving the hospital and died. Erickson\u2019s death has left his friends, family, and colleagues feeling lost and confused, primarily because he wrote his entire will in hieroglyphics. \u201cNow that Canute is gone, I just don\u2019t know what to do with myself or with Canute\u2019s corporeal possessions,\u201d said his brother Leif, who may or may not have inherited some of Canute\u2019s belongings. \u201cI assume that Canute wanted me to take care of his dog, but there is a squiggly line with a triangle in the middle next to a dog picture and I don\u2019t know what that means.\u201d \u201cActually, the dog picture looks like a camel. Canute didn\u2019t own a camel, did he?\u201d added Leif. Much of the confusion over will stems from the fact that no one can tell the difference between hieroglyphs of people. Erickson seemed to have drawn multiple pictures of women in his will, but he was single at the time of his death and nobody knows who these pictures are referring to. The general consensus of readers is that he either wants to give his armoire to Becky in the Physics department or is telling Leif to delete the porn off his computer. \u201cI always knew Canute was a dickwad, but I never thought he was this large a dickwad,\u201d said fellow University of Chicago hieroglyphics researcher Esther Collins, who also may or may not have inherited some of Canute\u2019s rustic cabin on Lake Champlain.belongings. \u201cI\u2019d help people decipher the will, but I feel that Canute wouldn\u2019t want me to. Also, I find this whole situation hilarious.\u201d At press time, lawyers have found an addendum to the will in English saying \u201cAt least I didn\u2019t use Cuneiform.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1813","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1813"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1813\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2846,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1813\/revisions\/2846"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1813"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1813"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}