<\/p>\n
Dear Members of the UChicago Community,<\/p>\n It\u2019s with a heavy heart that we announce the return of the Chicago Shady Dealer<\/i> for another year of publication and the assumption of editing duties by Walker King and Matthew Goldenberg. <\/p>\n Look, we\u2019re not happy about this either. When the powers-that-be told us we were going to be editing the Dealer<\/i> this year, we told them that that was right out, that Matt and Walker aren\u2019t ready for the big show, the big dance, the big farm upstate where he can run with the other horses, the Big Island, finally settling down with Mr. Big, Big with Tom Hanks, bingo night. Two weeks later we woke up from our stroke-induced coma and told them we were quitting.<\/p>\n But in the end, they had all the leverage. They bought us celebratory retirement balloons just to pop them in our faces. They leaked our diaries to InTouch magazine with fake entries calling Lucifer \u201cthe next Buddy Holly.\u201d They kidnapped Walker\u2019s dog. <\/p>\n So we caved, which is really your only option when dealing with a party willing to resort to dog abduction. And what\u2019s more, we\u2019re going to turn into the skid. Other, lesser, editors might try and make a bad paper on purpose, like the protagonists of the classic film Robin Hood: Men in Tights<\/i>. But not us. We\u2019re going to deliver you the best material yet from our writers We\u2019ve all made mistakes. Just like you did by coming to this school. Unlike you, we can\u2019t get out of editing the Shady Dealer by transferring to Brown. We may destroy our bodies, minds, and reputations, but we hope that it will make you laugh.<\/p>\n Matthew Goldenberg and Walker King<\/p>\n Editors in Chief, The Chicago Shady Dealer<\/i><\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Matthew Goldenberg and Walker King Aug. 17, 2015 Dear Members of the UChicago Community, It\u2019s with a heavy heart that we announce the return of the Chicago Shady Dealer for another year of publication and the assumption of editing duties by Walker King and Matthew Goldenberg. Look, we\u2019re not happy about this either. When the powers-that-be told us we were going to be editing the Dealer this year, we told them that that was right out, that Matt and Walker aren\u2019t ready for the big show, the big dance, the big farm upstate where he can run with the other horses, the Big Island, finally settling down with Mr. Big, Big with Tom Hanks, bingo night. Two weeks later we woke up from our stroke-induced coma and told them we were quitting. But in the end, they had all the leverage. They bought us celebratory retirement balloons just to pop them in our faces. They leaked our diaries to InTouch magazine with fake entries calling Lucifer \u201cthe next Buddy Holly.\u201d They kidnapped Walker\u2019s dog. So we caved, which is really your only option when dealing with a party willing to resort to dog abduction. And what\u2019s more, we\u2019re going to turn into the skid. Other, lesser, editors might try and make a bad paper on purpose, like the protagonists of the classic film Robin Hood: Men in Tights. But not us. We\u2019re going to deliver you the best material yet from our writers\u2014 –the greatest comedic minds of their generation. We\u2019ve all made mistakes. Just like you did by coming to this school. Unlike you, we can\u2019t get out of editing the Shady Dealer by transferring to Brown. We may destroy our bodies, minds, and reputations, but we hope that it will make you laugh. Matthew Goldenberg and Walker King Editors in Chief, The Chicago Shady Dealer<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1795"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3032,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1795\/revisions\/3032"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}