{"id":1790,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/top-five-reasons-to-sleep-with-me\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:33","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:33","slug":"top-five-reasons-to-sleep-with-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/top-five-reasons-to-sleep-with-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Five Reasons to Sleep with Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Liam Coles<\/a><\/h6>\n
Aug. 1, 2016<\/h6>\n

<\/insert><\/p>\n

I want to first preface this with the fact that there are many more reasons to sleep with me. These are just the top. <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n

    I can last long. I can last like two<\/insert>2 <\/delete>hours. Minimum. Granted, <\/insert> <\/delete>this still doesn\u2019t improve my skill in any way, <\/insert> <\/delete>and you probably still won\u2019t be completely satisfied. But I like to think of it meaning that I leave you wanting more. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  2. \n

    I have low self-esteem, and I use sex as a basis of measuring my self worth. If you don\u2019t sleep with me, I will cry because I am otherwise unloved. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  3. \n

    I can give you knowledge that you <\/insert>have reached rock bottom.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  4. \n

    I have a great sex playlist. It\u2019s good. Like no one has ever heard it, but trust me on this one.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  5. \n

    It\u2019s like Bar Night at 1:30AM. You might as well. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    BONUS: I think I might know where the clitoris is.<\/p>\n

    EXTRA ONES<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \n

      I won\u2019t tell people we had sex. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    2. \n

      I need to prove myself as a man. While probably not physically satisfying to either of us, the concept of courting a woman fulfills my feeble, masculine,<\/insert> psychological needs. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    3. \n

      You, however improbably<\/insert>e<\/delete>, could theoretically do worse. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    4. \n

      It\u2019s college,<\/insert> and otherwise I will think that I am missing out on some grand collective experience.<\/insert> and<\/delete> while<\/delete>While<\/insert> I may have no physical or emotional attraction to you,<\/insert> I want to in order to fit in<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    5. \n

      My mom said that we shouldn\u2019t, and I\u2019m rebellious af. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    6. \n

      I am on a club sport,<\/insert> so you can say vaguely that you slept with an athlete. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    7. \n

      The third wave of feminism is predicated on sexual liberation, and to live up to the sexual freedom women now have, you should sleep with specifically me. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    8. \n

      I have heard something about a t-spot?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    9. \n

      As a cis, upper-middle class, straight, white male, I can sexually transmit some of my privilege to you. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    10. \n

      Pleeeeaaaaasssssseee<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    11. \n

      I have watched a lot of <\/insert> porn in my day and basically only know a bunch of totally not unrealistic and uncomfortable positions!<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    12. \n

      I want to try stex. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    13. \n

      My penis longs for the soft touch of human warmth that is not my left hand. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    14. \n

      I have a tempurpedic mattress pad and it\u2019s soooooo comfy. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    15. I <\/insert>have only had a problem with having a limp dick once,<\/insert> and I SWEAR it was a fluke.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      By Liam Coles Aug. 1, 2016 I want to first preface this with the fact that there are many more reasons to sleep with me. These are just the top. I can last long. I can last like two2 hours. Minimum. Granted, this still doesn\u2019t improve my skill in any way, and you probably still won\u2019t be completely satisfied. But I like to think of it meaning that I leave you wanting more. I have low self-esteem, and I use sex as a basis of measuring my self worth. If you don\u2019t sleep with me, I will cry because I am otherwise unloved. I can give you knowledge that you have reached rock bottom. I have a great sex playlist. It\u2019s good. Like no one has ever heard it, but trust me on this one. It\u2019s like Bar Night at 1:30AM. You might as well. BONUS: I think I might know where the clitoris is. EXTRA ONES I won\u2019t tell people we had sex. I need to prove myself as a man. While probably not physically satisfying to either of us, the concept of courting a woman fulfills my feeble, masculine, psychological needs. You, however improbablye, could theoretically do worse. It\u2019s college, and otherwise I will think that I am missing out on some grand collective experience. and whileWhile I may have no physical or emotional attraction to you, I want to in order to fit in My mom said that we shouldn\u2019t, and I\u2019m rebellious af. I am on a club sport, so you can say vaguely that you slept with an athlete. The third wave of feminism is predicated on sexual liberation, and to live up to the sexual freedom women now have, you should sleep with specifically me. I have heard something about a t-spot? As a cis, upper-middle class, straight, white male, I can sexually transmit some of my privilege to you. Pleeeeaaaaasssssseee I have watched a lot of porn in my day and basically only know a bunch of totally not unrealistic and uncomfortable positions! I want to try stex. My penis longs for the soft touch of human warmth that is not my left hand. I have a tempurpedic mattress pad and it\u2019s soooooo comfy. I have only had a problem with having a limp dick once, and I SWEAR it was a fluke.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1790"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1790"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1790\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2823,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1790\/revisions\/2823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}