{"id":1778,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/dean-ellison-awakens-from-week-long-bender-with-no-memory-of-welcome-letter\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:30","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:30","slug":"dean-ellison-awakens-from-week-long-bender-with-no-memory-of-welcome-letter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/dean-ellison-awakens-from-week-long-bender-with-no-memory-of-welcome-letter\/","title":{"rendered":"Dean Ellison Awakens from Week-Long Bender with No Memory of Welcome Letter"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By James Reece<\/a><\/h6>\n
Aug. 26, 2016<\/h6>\n

Dean Ellison Awakes from Week Long Bender with No Memory of Welcome Letter<\/delete><\/b>T<\/delete>hursday, August 25<\/delete>th<\/delete>, 5:16 PM<\/delete>University of Chicago D<\/insert>d<\/delete>ean of Student<\/insert>A<\/delete><\/insert>a<\/delete>dmission<\/delete>s in the College<\/insert> John “<\/delete>“<\/insert>Jay” <\/insert>Ellison recently awoke from a week–<\/insert> <\/delete>long bender with no memory of writing the welcome letter that the<\/delete>recently received by the<\/insert> C<\/insert>c<\/delete>lass of 2020 recently received<\/delete>. <\/delete>Ellison reportedly does not remember anything that happened between last Friday night, when he began his drug-fueled misadventure, and today, when he came to in a Chili\u2019s parking lot.<\/p>\n

\u201cMan, I really let shit get out of hand this time,<\/insert>\u201d a groggy Ellison told the Dealer<\/i>. <\/delete> \u201cThe last thing I remember is doing shots with my buddy T-Bone, and the next thing I know I\u2019m in a puddle of my own vomit in this parking lot. <\/delete>Jesus, did I really write the whole welcome letter? <\/delete> I must\u2019ve been fucked up.\u201d <\/p>\n

When asked about the controversial remarks about campus safe spaces, Ellison responded \u201cI don\u2019t know man, I was fucking tripping. <\/delete> I\u2019m surprised I could even spell half of that stuff. <\/delete> Usually academic freedom is the last thing on my mind when I\u2019m fucked up. <\/delete>What the hell was I thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/delete>When asked if he stood by his comments now that he was sober, Ellison told reporters to \u201cfuck off\u201d and \u201cjust let me think for one god damn second.<\/insert>\u201d<\/p>\n

Members of the admissions office told the Dealer <\/i>that they had reservations about Ellison\u2019s comments in the welcome letter, but did not make any changes at Ellison\u2019s request. <\/delete>The dean reportedly submitted the letter as an attachment to a department wide email blast which has been reprinted below.<\/p>\n

“<\/insert>hey muthafukazzzz got the gdamn welcome leter 4 ur asses if u chnge a word ur fired haha peace bitches elllison forever lmao“<\/insert><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cFuck man, I am really fucking screwed,<\/insert>\u201d said <\/delete>a visibly distraught Ellison said<\/insert> while hurriedly buttoning his trousers. <\/delete> \u201cAre people getting pissed off? <\/delete> I bet people are getting really pissed off.<\/insert>.<\/delete> <\/delete> Christ, I\u2019m too god damn<\/delete> hungover to deal with this fucking<\/delete> shit.\u201d <\/delete> <\/p>\n

At press time, Ellison was googling the phrase “<\/insert>\u2018<\/delete>trigger warning definition“<\/insert>\u2019<\/delete> while cursing under his breath.<\/p>\n

CORRECTION (August 26, 4:15 pm): An earlier version of this article misstated that Dean Ellison is the Dean of Admissions, not the Dean of Students. government agency that investigated Hillary Clinton\u2019s email server. It was the FBI, not the CIA.<\/delete><\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By James Reece Aug. 26, 2016 Dean Ellison Awakes from Week Long Bender with No Memory of Welcome LetterThursday, August 25th, 5:16 PMUniversity of Chicago Ddean of StudentAadmissions in the College John ““Jay” Ellison recently awoke from a week– long bender with no memory of writing the welcome letter that therecently received by the Cclass of 2020 recently received. Ellison reportedly does not remember anything that happened between last Friday night, when he began his drug-fueled misadventure, and today, when he came to in a Chili\u2019s parking lot. \u201cMan, I really let shit get out of hand this time,\u201d a groggy Ellison told the Dealer. \u201cThe last thing I remember is doing shots with my buddy T-Bone, and the next thing I know I\u2019m in a puddle of my own vomit in this parking lot. Jesus, did I really write the whole welcome letter? I must\u2019ve been fucked up.\u201d When asked about the controversial remarks about campus safe spaces, Ellison responded \u201cI don\u2019t know man, I was fucking tripping. I\u2019m surprised I could even spell half of that stuff. Usually academic freedom is the last thing on my mind when I\u2019m fucked up. What the hell was I thinking?\u201d When asked if he stood by his comments now that he was sober, Ellison told reporters to \u201cfuck off\u201d and \u201cjust let me think for one god damn second.\u201d Members of the admissions office told the Dealer that they had reservations about Ellison\u2019s comments in the welcome letter, but did not make any changes at Ellison\u2019s request. The dean reportedly submitted the letter as an attachment to a department wide email blast which has been reprinted below. “hey muthafukazzzz got the gdamn welcome leter 4 ur asses if u chnge a word ur fired haha peace bitches elllison forever lmao“ \u201cFuck man, I am really fucking screwed,\u201d said a visibly distraught Ellison said while hurriedly buttoning his trousers. \u201cAre people getting pissed off? I bet people are getting really pissed off.. Christ, I\u2019m too god damn hungover to deal with this fucking shit.\u201d At press time, Ellison was googling the phrase “\u2018trigger warning definition“\u2019 while cursing under his breath. CORRECTION (August 26, 4:15 pm): An earlier version of this article misstated that Dean Ellison is the Dean of Admissions, not the Dean of Students. government agency that investigated Hillary Clinton\u2019s email server. It was the FBI, not the CIA.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1778"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1778"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1778\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2811,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1778\/revisions\/2811"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1778"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1778"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1778"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}