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By Morgan Pantuck Oct. 17, 2016 According to insider reports, area undergraduate student Molly Green unintentionally ruined the vibe of an UChicago campus tour given by Ben Smith earlier this week by crying loudly in front of the Regenstein library. \u201cUChicago is more than a school, it\u2019s a home,\u201d Smith described in a booming voice while walking backwards toward the visibly distressed Green. Onlookers appeared to experience cognitive dissonance while they listenedattended to Smith\u2019s enthusiastic praise of the university as well asand Green\u2019s simultaneous weepingweeping simultaneously. \u201cWe were listening to the tour guide explain how loving and supportive the campus community is,\u201d explains area mother Shelby Ruche. \u201cBut [Green\u2019s] sobbing made it difficult to hear the specifics.\u201d Other participants offered similar sentiments. \u201cI was trying to pay attention to Ben\u2019s comments about the abundance of mental health resources on campus,\u201d said noted prospective student Patrick Doughy, \u201cbut I couldn\u2019t stop watching that one girl blowing her nose into her shirt. It was really gross and sad.” Green, 20, is currently struggling to maintain a healthy life-work balance while she maintains her GPA, participates in multiple RSOs, and volunteers on the weekends while sleeping approximately 5 hours per night. \u201cI\u2026 can\u2019t\u2026 keep\u2026 doing\u2026 this,\u201d Green explained to the Dealer during an exclusive, spluttering interview. \u201cYeah, I was a little annoyed,\u201d Smith confided to a Dealer representative about the encounter. \u201cIt\u2019s hard enough to maintain an air of excitement while mentioning the impressive 6:1 student-to-faculty ratio and 400+ recognized student organizations without competing with the sound of Molly moaning and thrashing around on the ground.\u201d At press time, Smith was describing his positive experience with UChicago dining in front of a student vomiting into a trashcan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1750","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1750"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1750\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2783,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1750\/revisions\/2783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}