{"id":1735,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/how-can-i-get-my-roommate-to-stop-masturbating-to-christmas-music\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:22","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:22","slug":"how-can-i-get-my-roommate-to-stop-masturbating-to-christmas-music","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/how-can-i-get-my-roommate-to-stop-masturbating-to-christmas-music\/","title":{"rendered":"How Can I Get My Roommate to Stop Masturbating to Christmas Music?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\" alt=\" \" \/><\/p>\n<h6>By <a href=\"\/search?author=Marlin Figgins\">Marlin Figgins<\/a><\/h6>\n<h6>Nov. 12, 2016<\/h6>\n<\/p>\n<p><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1478912033574\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\">It\u2019s beginning a lot like Christmas, all over my dorm room\u2019s floor\u2026<\/insert><\/p>\n<p><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1478912033574\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\">Every single time I come home from a long night of studying in the Reg, there he is, jingling his bells to Jingle Bells. I haven\u2019t had a Silent Night since November 1st. It\u2019s been soggy sheets since. Now, I can\u2019t sleep. I\u2019m having trouble eating. I can\u2019t even listen to my favorite Christmas songs anymore without thinking of him.  I can\u2019t even go back to my room past 8 o\u2019clock, or else I\u2019ll hear him having a jolly ol\u2019 time in his personal winter wonderland. What can I do to stop this jolly jacker? I don\u2019t think I can handle another white Christmas. I just want my room back.<\/insert><\/p>\n<p><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1478912033574\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\"> <\/insert><\/p>\n<p><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1478912033574\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\">Sincerely,<\/insert><\/p>\n<p><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1478912033574\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\">Santa Claus Won\u2019t Stop Coming to Town<\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Marlin Figgins Nov. 12, 2016 It\u2019s beginning a lot like Christmas, all over my dorm room\u2019s floor\u2026 Every single time I come home from a long night of studying in the Reg, there he is, jingling his bells to Jingle Bells. I haven\u2019t had a Silent Night since November 1st. It\u2019s been soggy sheets since. Now, I can\u2019t sleep. I\u2019m having trouble eating. I can\u2019t even listen to my favorite Christmas songs anymore without thinking of him. I can\u2019t even go back to my room past 8 o\u2019clock, or else I\u2019ll hear him having a jolly ol\u2019 time in his personal winter wonderland. What can I do to stop this jolly jacker? I don\u2019t think I can handle another white Christmas. I just want my room back. Sincerely, Santa Claus Won\u2019t Stop Coming to Town<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1735","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1735"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2768,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735\/revisions\/2768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1735"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1735"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1735"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}