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By Antonia Salisbury Nov. 14, 2016 There\u2019s nothing like the holiday season to remind you who your friends and family are and also to launch you into a deep, all-consuming depression. Luckily for Courage, the presidential turkey of 2016, there will be many holiday seasons to come. This November, he will be one of themany turkeys of White House lineage to be pardoned from a Thanksgiving death. Yet, Courage has wavered from the gracious path of his foreturkies. Courage has been going through what is \u201cnot just a rough patch, guys\u201d and is now protesting to legalize physician-assisted fowl suicide. \u201c“I am petitioning the president to grant access to medical assistance and guidance for turkeys like myself who no longer have the will to gobble along day after day.\u201d Courage continued, \u201cWhat\u2019s the point in being a bird that no one thinks can fly, you know?\u201d Courage noted that he usually spends the holidays \u201ccrashing\u201d at his sister\u2019s place in Orlando. HoweverBut, she and her fianc\u00e9e bought a pug recently so there\u2019s not any space for him left on the futon. Instead, you can find Courage posted at home in Arizona where he will be watching How I Met Your Mother reruns and feasting on some easy-mac like any other Thursday. When asked to consider those who would miss him Courage respondedretorted, \u201cI understand, and I don\u2019t want to be selfish. That\u2019s why I’ve asked Cemil to keep my blogspot up-to-date as I move forward with this endeavor.\u201d Cemil is Courage\u2019s closest companion \u2013 they are on the same COD Infinite Warfare team but have had trouble synchronizing logins recently because of the time difference between Tucson and Istanbul, where Cemil lives. \u201cI have my \u2018Courage Dies\u2019 playlist ready so I\u2019m really just waiting on the President\u2019s approval. And also my rock tumbler; it\u2019s on backorder from Amazon. I found a rock in my backyard that I think is quartz but I can\u2019t shine it without my tumbler. I\u2019d hate to die on cliffhanger like that,\u201d Courage squawked to himself, finding humor in the small things as his days come to a close. He added that he is hoping to drift away to the tune of Susan Boyle\u2019s Amazing Grace, his favorite song. On a final note, Courage added, \u201cAlso, I don\u2019t know if this is like a Make-A-Wish Foundation type of thing, but I just want to put it out there that I\u2019d really like to see Hamilton before this whole thing finishes up. I mean, I\u2019ve seen a bootleg, but I’m musical theater freak so some front-rowers would really be appreciated.\u201d Our best wishes are with Courage as he unites gloomy turkeys worldwide. If all goes according to plan, Courage hopes that his ashes will be force fed to President Obama as a part of quaint wake held in his childhood barn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1730","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1730","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1730"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1730\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2763,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1730\/revisions\/2763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1730"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1730"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1730"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}