{"id":1725,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/ho-ho-ho-why-is-my-house-getting-closer-to-the-water-every-year\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:20","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:20","slug":"ho-ho-ho-why-is-my-house-getting-closer-to-the-water-every-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/ho-ho-ho-why-is-my-house-getting-closer-to-the-water-every-year\/","title":{"rendered":"Ho Ho Ho! Why is my House Getting Closer to the Water Every Year?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img src=\"\" alt=\" \" \/><\/p>\n<h6>By <a href=\"\/search?author=Nico Aldape\">Nico Aldape<\/a><\/h6>\n<h6>Nov. 15, 2016<\/h6>\n<\/p>\n<p><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1479174278383\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\">Merry Christmas to all, and <insert class=\"ins cts-3\" data-cid=\"8\" data-time=\"1479177684130\" data-userid=\"29\" data-username=\"Jack Toole\">a <\/insert>Happy New Year! I know it\u2019s not December 25th yet, but whenever I watch TV, all I see are commercial depictions of me starting just after Halloween. That gives me a hearty chuckle considering I don\u2019t even read my first letter until at least four or five days before Christmas! I always get too distracted drinking too much eggnog and staring at the Northern Lights. Anyway, I\u2019m as glad this year is almost over as anyone else. But, I do have one question<insert class=\"ins cts-2\" data-cid=\"4\" data-time=\"1479175533751\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">:<\/insert><delete class=\"del cts-2\" data-cid=\"3\" data-time=\"1479175533251\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">.<\/delete> <insert class=\"ins cts-2\" data-cid=\"6\" data-time=\"1479175537439\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">w<\/insert><delete class=\"del cts-2\" data-cid=\"5\" data-time=\"1479175536556\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">W<\/delete>hy is my house getting closer to the water every year? I can\u2019t be making this up. Five years ago, whenever the elves wanted to go polar-bear-tipping or dive off icebergs, they\u2019d have to walk miles. Sometimes I\u2019d worry <insert class=\"ins cts-2\" data-cid=\"9\" data-time=\"1479175552894\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">that<\/insert><delete class=\"del cts-2\" data-cid=\"7\" data-time=\"1479175552505\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">if<\/delete> they\u2019d <insert class=\"ins cts-3\" data-cid=\"11\" data-time=\"1479177738819\" data-userid=\"29\" data-username=\"Jack Toole\">n<\/insert>ever come back home. Two years ago<insert class=\"ins cts-3\" data-cid=\"12\" data-time=\"1479177752115\" data-userid=\"29\" data-username=\"Jack Toole\">,<\/insert> I remember we had a really bad vortex, so that was a blip in the general trend of warmth, but now, it\u2019s only a twenty-minute walk to the beach! All of the North Pole elves\u2019 cousins (the ones that live in the trees and make those Keebler Cookies \u2013 Ho ho ho, yum!) come up for a beach visit. The polar bears and seals don\u2019t seem too happy about it, but my elves certainly do!<\/insert><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1479174278383\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\"><delete class=\"del cts-2\" data-cid=\"13\" data-time=\"1479175574384\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\"> <\/delete><\/insert><\/p>\n<p><insert class=\"ins cts-1\" data-cid=\"2\" data-time=\"1479174278383\" data-userid=\"23\" data-username=\"Jacob Levin\">One other piece of evidence that my house is getting closer to the water is that my reindeer keep falling into what used to be more solid ice! Oh goody, Rudolph had to grab Blitzen and Donner earlier this morning. I think Donner and Blitzen may be a thing\u2026 but that\u2019s beside the point<insert class=\"ins cts-2\" data-cid=\"16\" data-time=\"1479175592910\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">!<\/insert><delete class=\"del cts-2\" data-cid=\"15\" data-time=\"1479175592576\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">.<\/delete> My reindeer love prancing around on breaks after practice sleigh runs<insert class=\"ins cts-3\" data-cid=\"14\" data-time=\"1479177798527\" data-userid=\"29\" data-username=\"Jack Toole\">,<\/insert> and the fragile ice kills their Christmas spirit. What can be done about this? I\u2019ve heard about the dangers of burning coal before, so as of this year I promise to give naughty kids something other than lumps of coal. Maybe I should give a return letter saying, \u201cHo ho ho, better luck next year!\u201d or a reminder to use renewables.  That being said, <insert class=\"ins cts-2\" data-cid=\"18\" data-time=\"1479175615948\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">y<\/insert><delete class=\"del cts-2\" data-cid=\"17\" data-time=\"1479175615590\" data-userid=\"28\" data-username=\"Nik Varley\">Y<\/delete>ou aren\u2019t doing anything to the climate, are you? That\u2019d be very naughty. <\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Nico Aldape Nov. 15, 2016 Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year! I know it\u2019s not December 25th yet, but whenever I watch TV, all I see are commercial depictions of me starting just after Halloween. That gives me a hearty chuckle considering I don\u2019t even read my first letter until at least four or five days before Christmas! I always get too distracted drinking too much eggnog and staring at the Northern Lights. Anyway, I\u2019m as glad this year is almost over as anyone else. But, I do have one question:. wWhy is my house getting closer to the water every year? I can\u2019t be making this up. Five years ago, whenever the elves wanted to go polar-bear-tipping or dive off icebergs, they\u2019d have to walk miles. Sometimes I\u2019d worry thatif they\u2019d never come back home. Two years ago, I remember we had a really bad vortex, so that was a blip in the general trend of warmth, but now, it\u2019s only a twenty-minute walk to the beach! All of the North Pole elves\u2019 cousins (the ones that live in the trees and make those Keebler Cookies \u2013 Ho ho ho, yum!) come up for a beach visit. The polar bears and seals don\u2019t seem too happy about it, but my elves certainly do! One other piece of evidence that my house is getting closer to the water is that my reindeer keep falling into what used to be more solid ice! Oh goody, Rudolph had to grab Blitzen and Donner earlier this morning. I think Donner and Blitzen may be a thing\u2026 but that\u2019s beside the point!. My reindeer love prancing around on breaks after practice sleigh runs, and the fragile ice kills their Christmas spirit. What can be done about this? I\u2019ve heard about the dangers of burning coal before, so as of this year I promise to give naughty kids something other than lumps of coal. Maybe I should give a return letter saying, \u201cHo ho ho, better luck next year!\u201d or a reminder to use renewables. That being said, yYou aren\u2019t doing anything to the climate, are you? That\u2019d be very naughty.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1725"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2758,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725\/revisions\/2758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}