{"id":1712,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/bruce-waynes-wife-annoyed-all-bruce-does-is-put-bat-before-existing-sex-position\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:58:18","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:58:18","slug":"bruce-waynes-wife-annoyed-all-bruce-does-is-put-bat-before-existing-sex-position","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/bruce-waynes-wife-annoyed-all-bruce-does-is-put-bat-before-existing-sex-position\/","title":{"rendered":"Bruce Wayne’s Wife Annoyed All Bruce Does Is Put “Bat” Before Existing Sex Position"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Nico Aldape<\/a><\/h6>\n
Nov. 25, 2016<\/h6>\n

When he\u2019s not fighting crime in Gotham City, Batman (known as<\/insert>by<\/delete> Bruce Wayne to the public<\/insert>as a private citizen<\/delete>), loves to be with his wife in Wayne Manor outside the city. Given the notoriety and fame of her husband, Mrs. Wayne would like to merely be referred to as \u201cMrs. Wayne.\u201d While happy in their marriage, an exclusive Shady Dealer <\/em>interview with the couple revealed that, like all couples, they are not without their problems \u2013 especially in the bedroom. Applying Bat<\/delete>\ufeff “bat”<\/insert> to words is no new trend for Bruce. After \u201cinventing\u201d the Batmobile sports car and the Batarang boomerang-type weapon, Bruce has begun to apply his trademark \u201cbat-\u201c prefix to one of the most important aspects of a relationship \u2013 sex positions. \u201cI could tolerate having to call the car the Batmobile and boomerangs Batarangs\u201d said Mrs. Wayne, <\/insert>. <\/delete>\u201cBut first of all, it\u2019d be nice to drive a car without worrying if I\u2019ll open some secret missile compartment. Second of all, his insistence<\/insert>ing<\/delete> on wearing his mask and cape to bed, referring to our sex as <\/insert>calling when we have sex<\/delete> \u2018batmissionary\u2019 \ufeffand\ufeff<\/insert> when we cuddle \u2018<\/delete>batspooning\u2019<\/delete>our cuddling as ‘batspooning’<\/insert> is<\/insert>are<\/delete> a bit childish.\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

<\/insert><\/p>\n

In other bed-related complaints, Mrs. Wayne told the Shady Dealer<\/em> that during many a lovemaking session, Bruce leaves the bedroom to fight crime because he \u201cwon\u2019t finish until my duty serving justice is finished.\u201d Mrs. Wayne has resorted to having to complain to Alfred the butler. \u201cPlease help me. I have had decades of Bruce talking to me about new vehicles and guns, whether as a boy or a superhero. Now I have to deal with Mrs. Wayne talking to me about her sexual dissatisfaction. I have never been able to have a wife because I have been trapped in the Wayne household. I would ask someone to hire me, but I am too old“<\/insert>. Please <\/delete>\ufeff”<\/delete><\/insert>\u2013<\/delete>\ufeff<\/delete>\u201c<\/delete> grumbled Alfred before suddenly being summoned to another room.<\/insert><\/p>\n

<\/insert><\/p>\n

Mrs. Wayne also told the Shady Dealer<\/em> that Bruce has not been the same since The Dark Knight.<\/em> \u201cI could see the homoerotic overtones between Bruce and the Joker right off the bat (no pun intended),\u201d said Mrs. Wayne, <\/insert>.<\/delete> <\/delete>\u201cAlong with the <\/insert>\u2018Bat stuff<\/insert>\u2019, he could never stop talking about how cool the Joker looked in his makeup or asking me if he could \u2018put a smile on that face.\u2019 No, Bruce, no. You are putting a frown on that face.\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

<\/insert><\/p>\n

Mrs. Wayne concluded the interview by saying that Bruce\u2019s attachment to big fancy toys and powers is definitely<\/em> him over<\/delete>compensating for something.<\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Nico Aldape Nov. 25, 2016 When he\u2019s not fighting crime in Gotham City, Batman (known asby Bruce Wayne to the publicas a private citizen), loves to be with his wife in Wayne Manor outside the city. Given the notoriety and fame of her husband, Mrs. Wayne would like to merely be referred to as \u201cMrs. Wayne.\u201d While happy in their marriage, an exclusive Shady Dealer interview with the couple revealed that, like all couples, they are not without their problems \u2013 especially in the bedroom. Applying Bat\ufeff “bat” to words is no new trend for Bruce. After \u201cinventing\u201d the Batmobile sports car and the Batarang boomerang-type weapon, Bruce has begun to apply his trademark \u201cbat-\u201c prefix to one of the most important aspects of a relationship \u2013 sex positions. \u201cI could tolerate having to call the car the Batmobile and boomerangs Batarangs\u201d said Mrs. Wayne, . \u201cBut first of all, it\u2019d be nice to drive a car without worrying if I\u2019ll open some secret missile compartment. Second of all, his insistenceing on wearing his mask and cape to bed, referring to our sex as calling when we have sex \u2018batmissionary\u2019 \ufeffand\ufeff when we cuddle \u2018batspooning\u2019our cuddling as ‘batspooning’ isare a bit childish.\u201d In other bed-related complaints, Mrs. Wayne told the Shady Dealer that during many a lovemaking session, Bruce leaves the bedroom to fight crime because he \u201cwon\u2019t finish until my duty serving justice is finished.\u201d Mrs. Wayne has resorted to having to complain to Alfred the butler. \u201cPlease help me. I have had decades of Bruce talking to me about new vehicles and guns, whether as a boy or a superhero. Now I have to deal with Mrs. Wayne talking to me about her sexual dissatisfaction. I have never been able to have a wife because I have been trapped in the Wayne household. I would ask someone to hire me, but I am too old“. Please \ufeff”\u2013\ufeff\u201c grumbled Alfred before suddenly being summoned to another room. Mrs. Wayne also told the Shady Dealer that Bruce has not been the same since The Dark Knight. \u201cI could see the homoerotic overtones between Bruce and the Joker right off the bat (no pun intended),\u201d said Mrs. Wayne, . \u201cAlong with the \u2018Bat stuff\u2019, he could never stop talking about how cool the Joker looked in his makeup or asking me if he could \u2018put a smile on that face.\u2019 No, Bruce, no. You are putting a frown on that face.\u201d Mrs. Wayne concluded the interview by saying that Bruce\u2019s attachment to big fancy toys and powers is definitely him overcompensating for something.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1712"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1712"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1712\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2745,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1712\/revisions\/2745"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}