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By Nico Aldape Nov. 25, 2016 The current state of our capitalist system is dire. We need everyoneall people we can to turn back the rising tide of the neo-fascist, white supremacist bourgeoisie. We need to hold ourselves to action to support the revolution, not just ironically share communist memes and espouse treatises such as \u201clol @ capitalism hahaha!!!!!!\u201d In pursuing the reasonable goal of a more equal society which has been bastardized and distorted by many a dictator, I have one core recommendation: If Marx heard you were eating prosciutto, he would turn in his grave and ban you from the proletariat. As I will explain, eating prosciutto and the proletariat are is mutually exclusive with being in the proletariat. Just as like how Marx said, \u201cRreligion is the opiate of the masses,\u201d prosciutto is the opiate of the bourgeoisie. Do not fall into this trap or you will become one of them. It may seem perfectly rational to pay up to 6 dollars for 5 slices of dry-cured, thinly sliced deliciousness that you\u2019ll likely devour in one munchie sitting rather than on sandwiches. We all want new culinary experiences. However, there are new culinary experiences, and there\u2019s enabling the fancy bourgeoisie \u201cartisan\u201d filth. They\u2019re eating prosciutto and fancy cheese in thea Ritz, and I\u2019m crying onto the Kraft singles I\u2019m eating on a Ritz cracker. This mental image is all you need to understand the hold the bourgeoisie has over global capital. When they are not busy oppressing, what do you think the bourgeoisie are doing? Twiddling their thumbs and eating prosciutto, whether wrapped around cheese, topping a sandwich, on bruschetta, digested in the same mouth that spews anti-proletariat hatred. That being said, they probably eat large amounts of caviar too. Caviar isare just fish eggs. Why can\u2019t you just eat normal chicken eggs just like everybody else? It seems like more energy to extract them. If they were any smaller, they\u2019d be practically microscopic. Prosciutto also comes sliced very thinly and is had in small doses. As is truffle oil. As is saffron. What is with rich people and very small servings of food? Is the most necessary part of a bourgeoisie\u2019s diet 5-7 servings of hors d\u2019oeurves? I have no idea how they have so much time to oppress the proletariat with such minor amounts of finger food. I don\u2019t have know the answers to any of these questions, but I do know that if you eat prosciutto, the revolution don\u2019t need you, though.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1711"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2744,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1711\/revisions\/2744"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1711"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1711"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1711"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}