<\/p>\n
By Nik Varley Feb. 7, 2017 Washington, D.C. \u2013 Shortly after her confirmation as President Trump\u2019s Secretary of Educationeducation secretary, Betsy DeVos was seen cackling in the face of a small orphan as he humbly asked for a second helping of gruel. The orphan, a tender seven-year-old child, wept bitterly as DeVos gleefully informed him that he had already consumed his daily gruel ration and would be swiftly punished if he asked again.\u00a0Following the incident, the Amway heiress issued a statement to the Dealer from a private administration luncheon. \u201cYou didn\u2019t use to see that sort of impudence from children in the good old days,\u201d stated DeVos while greedily sucking the meat from a freshly cracked lobster claw. \u201cBack then, kids knew that if they gave you any lip they could wind up working in a sweatshop, coal mine, or sweeping chimneys for pennies an hour. Nowadays, they don\u2019t show you any respect; it\u2019s like they all think that they\u2019re somehow entitled to a quality education. \u201cBut don\u2019t you worry,\u201d said a winking DeVos. \u201cPresident Trump and I are gonna have this place turned around in no time. You won\u2019t see any more impoverished children brave enough to beg for gruel on my watch. Just you wait!\u201d DeVos was later seen taking notes on a copy of Charles Dickens\u2019 Oliver Twist and nodding approvingly.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1651"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2684,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1651\/revisions\/2684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}