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By Thomas Noriega March 2, 2017 In a university-first eventFor the first time in the In a university-first event, our oldest south-side dorm has been hyphenated from the ground-up. After the runaway successes of super-houses Dodd-Mead and Linn-Mathews, the university has announced that, on day-one of the 2017-2018 school year, newly-minted Maroons will be able to live in the brand-new houses of Chamberlin-Vincent and Coulter-Salisbury. Utilizing the same revolutionary fire-escape-based method of unification that linked the first two super-houses, Chamberlin-Vincent will experience a problem-free unification. Coulter-Salisbury, currently composed of two non-adjacent houses, will have a state-of-the-art High-Gothic fire-escape assembled in the B-J courtyard to facilitate travel. \u201cWe are excited to create a brand-new sense of house culture in our second-oldest dorm,\u201d said Jean-Pierre Louis-David, the graduate chairman of the joint Housing-Culture committee. \u201cThe current six-house system was designed to re-unite students across house lines, and the four-house system will do the same.\u201d When asked if there were already plans to further hyphenate College Housing, Louis-David merely winked, tongue-in-cheek. inked, tongue-in-cheek. At Burton-Judson, excitement wasn\u2019t exactly sky-high. When put-upon by our reporting team, first-year Math-Physics major Alexander Roche summed up the general attitude towards this ground-breaking change: \u201cWhy?\u201d A social-media campaign, \u201cFFS\u201d (Fix our Fucking Showers) has already begun among current B-J residents, imploring the university to invest housing funds into de-molding the showers, rather than re-molding house culture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1643"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2676,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions\/2676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}