<\/p>\n
When asked by a reporter why funding for those specific items was such an important priority on the republican party\u2019s legislative agenda, Senator McConnell responded by looking down at his stomach with a sad look, opening his mouth a bit, and then quickly closing it without speaking. He then lost interest in the reporter\u2019s questions and laid on his stomach, crushing an unseen bill for entitlement reform in the process.<\/span><\/p>\n After a short nap, Senator McConnell explained that the food outlined in the turtle legislation is part of \u201ca healthy diet\u201d and that distribution must be \u201cswift and effective\u201d, with the food being distributed at strategic locations like public schools, churches, and Capitol Hill cafeteria. After McConnell delivered his speech, he began to return to his office. In the intervening two or three days it took for the senator to reach his destination, legislative analysts found a number of unusual provisions in the bill, like subsidies for companies that provided \u201cshell shining\u201d products, and funding for military research on turtle shell camouflage. <\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Christopher Walker April 10, 2017 Mitch McConnell announces no further bills will pass the senate until funding for his turtle snacks is approvedWASHINGTON D.C – \u00a0Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell issued a statement yesterday claiming that no legislation will pass the senate until \u201cproper funding for vital nutrition; including plants, flies, small-insects, snails, and\/or pizza is provided at free or reduced pricing for all Americans for the foreseeable future\u201d. When asked by a reporter why funding for those specific items was such an important priority on the republican party\u2019s legislative agenda, Senator McConnell responded by looking down at his stomach with a sad look, opening his mouth a bit, and then quickly closing it without speaking. He then lost interest in the reporter\u2019s questions and laid on his stomach, crushing an unseen bill for entitlement reform in the process. After a short nap, Senator McConnell explained that the food outlined in the turtle legislation is part of \u201ca healthy diet\u201d and that distribution must be \u201cswift and effective\u201d, with the food being distributed at strategic locations like public schools, churches, and Capitol Hill cafeteria. After McConnell delivered his speech, he began to return to his office. In the intervening two or three days it took for the senator to reach his destination, legislative analysts found a number of unusual provisions in the bill, like subsidies for companies that provided \u201cshell shining\u201d products, and funding for military research on turtle shell camouflage. \u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1624"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2657,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1624\/revisions\/2657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}