{"id":1622,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/unopposed-student-government-slate-announces-thousand-year-reign-of-blood\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:57:59","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:57:59","slug":"unopposed-student-government-slate-announces-thousand-year-reign-of-blood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/unopposed-student-government-slate-announces-thousand-year-reign-of-blood\/","title":{"rendered":"Unopposed Student Government Slate Announces Thousand-Year Reign of Blood"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Thomas Noriega<\/a><\/h6>\n
April 17, 2017<\/h6>\n

Unopposed Student Government Slate Announces Thousand-Year Reign of Blood<\/insert><\/delete>By Thomas Noriega<\/insert><\/delete> In an unexpected turn, only one trio of students announced their candidacy for the Executive Slate of the University\u2019s Student Government. The candidates, referred to as the \u201cRISE<\/delete>LIFT<\/insert>\u201d slate, were the only slate to submit their formal bid for election by the 5 p.<\/insert>m.<\/insert> deadline on April 11th, making them the de facto victors before the election has even occurred. The bloc, facing no opposition in their ascendancy to the office, announced plans to ride their absolute victory to a millennium of conquest, guided by their collective iron fist. At a campaign event last Saturday, the three candidates —<\/insert>,<\/delete> second year Sabine Nau<\/delete>Noreen Nye<\/insert>, third year Kyle Cutter<\/insert>Calvin Cottrell<\/delete>, and third year Chase Harrison<\/delete>David Harrington<\/insert> —<\/insert>,<\/delete><\/insert> spoke in unison on the development.<\/insert><\/p>\n

All 3 of the candidates were gearing up for a fun, engaging race. \u201cWe sought challenge, and found only weakness,\u201d the three said at once.<\/insert>,<\/delete> \u201cW<\/insert>w<\/delete>e were ready to face contest on the field of battle, smiting our foes in glorious combat, but no foes came.\u201d The bloc seemed as shocked by their seeming<\/delete> victory as anyone else. \u201cWe are disappointed in you wretched human cowards.\u201d Their voices rose in concert.<\/insert>,<\/delete> \u201cIs this great crown worth nothing to you? Or are you simply too weak to bear it with any pretension to dignity?\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

The slate then <\/insert>expressed some concern over the future of SG elections. \u201cYou foolish mortals had your chance,\u201d they intoned, \u201can opportunity, however scarce, however fleeting, to resist the yoke of our control. But you were as sheep before a shepherd, rightfully fleeing the crook and its indomitable wielder. Justified though the course of the weak was, think you that we shall forever grant such clemency? Or even allow you the illusion of a choice? Such delusions are but the fancies of the small, crying for mercy before the uncaring tide of fate.\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

Of course, a successful write–<\/insert> <\/delete>in candidate could stir up the cut and dried race. On this possibility, RISE<\/delete>LIFT<\/insert> briefly remarked: \u201cAll shall be trampled beneath our mighty boot.\u201d They explained, \u201cWe came to wage war, and war shall be waged. We invite the peal of its thunder.\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

RISE<\/delete>LIFT<\/insert> is also looking ahead to the position they want to take after the campaign ends. \u201cOnce we are seated upon your petty throne, your children, and their children, and all the rest of your children\u2019s children\u2019s children shall render homage and service unto us until the stars in the sky grow black. You should praise your great fortune for being allowed to gaze upon our noble front. You should think us gods for suffering your kind at all.\u201d When asked about projects for the administration, RISE<\/delete>LIFT<\/insert> said, \u201cWe\u2019d really like to improve services like student health and campus dining. These are super important to a lot of our peers, and it would be great to start making structural improvements at UC. After all,\u201d they joked, \u201cis not even the greatest master weak if they retain broken thralls?\u201d<\/insert><\/p>\n

Some have pinpointed growing interest in study abroad programs and early graduation as reasons for the decline of interest in the executive slate, as participation in either precludes students from running for the office. RISE<\/delete>LIFT<\/insert> has pointed to the frailty of transient flesh as another potential cause.<\/insert><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Thomas Noriega April 17, 2017 Unopposed Student Government Slate Announces Thousand-Year Reign of BloodBy Thomas Noriega In an unexpected turn, only one trio of students announced their candidacy for the Executive Slate of the University\u2019s Student Government. The candidates, referred to as the \u201cRISELIFT\u201d slate, were the only slate to submit their formal bid for election by the 5 p.m. deadline on April 11th, making them the de facto victors before the election has even occurred. The bloc, facing no opposition in their ascendancy to the office, announced plans to ride their absolute victory to a millennium of conquest, guided by their collective iron fist. At a campaign event last Saturday, the three candidates —, second year Sabine NauNoreen Nye, third year Kyle CutterCalvin Cottrell, and third year Chase HarrisonDavid Harrington —, spoke in unison on the development. All 3 of the candidates were gearing up for a fun, engaging race. \u201cWe sought challenge, and found only weakness,\u201d the three said at once., \u201cWwe were ready to face contest on the field of battle, smiting our foes in glorious combat, but no foes came.\u201d The bloc seemed as shocked by their seeming victory as anyone else. \u201cWe are disappointed in you wretched human cowards.\u201d Their voices rose in concert., \u201cIs this great crown worth nothing to you? Or are you simply too weak to bear it with any pretension to dignity?\u201d The slate then expressed some concern over the future of SG elections. \u201cYou foolish mortals had your chance,\u201d they intoned, \u201can opportunity, however scarce, however fleeting, to resist the yoke of our control. But you were as sheep before a shepherd, rightfully fleeing the crook and its indomitable wielder. Justified though the course of the weak was, think you that we shall forever grant such clemency? Or even allow you the illusion of a choice? Such delusions are but the fancies of the small, crying for mercy before the uncaring tide of fate.\u201d Of course, a successful write– in candidate could stir up the cut and dried race. On this possibility, RISELIFT briefly remarked: \u201cAll shall be trampled beneath our mighty boot.\u201d They explained, \u201cWe came to wage war, and war shall be waged. We invite the peal of its thunder.\u201d RISELIFT is also looking ahead to the position they want to take after the campaign ends. \u201cOnce we are seated upon your petty throne, your children, and their children, and all the rest of your children\u2019s children\u2019s children shall render homage and service unto us until the stars in the sky grow black. You should praise your great fortune for being allowed to gaze upon our noble front. You should think us gods for suffering your kind at all.\u201d When asked about projects for the administration, RISELIFT said, \u201cWe\u2019d really like to improve services like student health and campus dining. These are super important to a lot of our peers, and it would be great to start making structural improvements at UC. After all,\u201d they joked, \u201cis not even the greatest master weak if they retain broken thralls?\u201d Some have pinpointed growing interest in study abroad programs and early graduation as reasons for the decline of interest in the executive slate, as participation in either precludes students from running for the office. RISELIFT has pointed to the frailty of transient flesh as another potential cause.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1622"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2655,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622\/revisions\/2655"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1622"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1622"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1622"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}