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By Dan Lastres April 21, 2017 Trump Surprises Pence, awards him Presidential Chastity-Belt of Freedom The White House – On Tuesday evening, President Trump surprised Vice President Mike Pence by awarding him the p Presidential Chastity Belt of Freedom. During the presentation, Trump called the former governor of Indiana \u201cour nation\u2019s most chaste public servant,\u201d and \u201ca man of untarnished honor\u201d. Trump\u2019s choice of Pence for a running mate was widely viewed as an attempt to balance out the \u201crapey vibe\u201d that Trump brought to the ticketof the Trump ticket. The award seems to be the President’sTrump\u2019s way of acknowledging Pence\u2019s important contributions to the campaign including his aversion to unmarried women and babysitting skills. Pence, who doesn\u2019t dine with women other than his wife, graciously accepted the honorable girdle with eyes aglow and his hands glued into his back pockets. In his acceptance speech, he thanked his pastor for instilling him with \u201cfamily values and the will to repress all my sexual desire.\u201d Pence also thanked his wife for accompanying him to the ceremony \u201cbecause I won\u2019t go anywhere there\u2019s alcohol without her.\u201d The Presidential Chastity Belt of Freedom was first awarded in 1857 by James Buchannan who wished to acknowledge those brave Americans who reject all forms of self-restraint, preferring to make others responsible for keeping their carnal desires in check. The ceremony was also an important opportunity for President Trump to get some good press following a string of mistakes and his general incompetence in carrying out any presidential duties more complicated than a photo opportunity. It ended after less than ten minutes when the President got bored and wanted to go do something else.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1607"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2640,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607\/revisions\/2640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}