<\/p>\n
A peaceful demonstration against the Trump administration ended in chaos as University Dean John \u201cJay\u201d Ellison ran into the mass of protesteors wielding a Craftsman-brand chainsaw. Ellison, clad in the tannedleathern skin of several prospies, charged from the door of Rosenwald Hall while revving the chainsaw (nicknamed \u201cOpen Discourse\u201d) as he ran towards the demonstration. The protesteors fled in every direction, but couldn\u2019t escape Ellison\u2019s insatiable lust for suffering. He caught up to a demonstrator wielding a \u201cDump Trump\u201d sign and cleaved them in two, shouting \u201cThe University of Chicago does not endorse so-called trigger warnings!\u201d<\/p>\n
TBy this point, the protesteors quicklyhad spread across the quad, but many were unable to escape the Dean of Students’ murderous spree. \u201cTHERE IS NO SPACE SAFE FROM ME,\u201d Ellison shouted to the heavens, blood spraying across his skin-suit, before racing after a group headed towards the Classics Quad.<\/p>\n
Ellison slashed through three3 students near Bond Chapel, and began chanting \u201cACADEMIC FREEDOM\u201d at the top of his lungs. It echoed across the campus, disorienting the fleeing demonstrators. The D dDean also silenced his chainsaw to avoid detection. A pair ofA couple of students attempted to escape break viafor Ellis Ave. and the hospital, but found themselves at the mercy of the waiting Ellison, who impaleding boththe pair of them on his now gore-choked blade as he declared, \u201cI AM THE SECURITY ALERT.”\u201d.<\/p>\n
By this point, the protesters were beyond the reach of Ellison\u2019s rampage. \u201cGAZE UPON MY HONEST WORKS,\u201d Ellison bellowed to the College at large. \u201cGAZE AND BE FEARFUL.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Thomas Noriega May 5, 2017 A peaceful demonstration against the Trump administration ended in chaos as University Dean John \u201cJay\u201d Ellison ran into the mass of protesteors wielding a Craftsman-brand chainsaw. Ellison, clad in the tannedleathern skin of several prospies, charged from the door of Rosenwald Hall while revving the chainsaw (nicknamed \u201cOpen Discourse\u201d) as he ran towards the demonstration. The protesteors fled in every direction, but couldn\u2019t escape Ellison\u2019s insatiable lust for suffering. He caught up to a demonstrator wielding a \u201cDump Trump\u201d sign and cleaved them in two, shouting \u201cThe University of Chicago does not endorse so-called trigger warnings!\u201d TBy this point, the protesteors quicklyhad spread across the quad, but many were unable to escape the Dean of Students’ murderous spree. \u201cTHERE IS NO SPACE SAFE FROM ME,\u201d Ellison shouted to the heavens, blood spraying across his skin-suit, before racing after a group headed towards the Classics Quad. Ellison slashed through three3 students near Bond Chapel, and began chanting \u201cACADEMIC FREEDOM\u201d at the top of his lungs. It echoed across the campus, disorienting the fleeing demonstrators. The D dDean also silenced his chainsaw to avoid detection. A pair ofA couple of students attempted to escape break viafor Ellis Ave. and the hospital, but found themselves at the mercy of the waiting Ellison, who impaleding boththe pair of them on his now gore-choked blade as he declared, \u201cI AM THE SECURITY ALERT.”\u201d. By this point, the protesters were beyond the reach of Ellison\u2019s rampage. \u201cGAZE UPON MY HONEST WORKS,\u201d Ellison bellowed to the College at large. \u201cGAZE AND BE FEARFUL.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1601","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1601","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1601"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1601\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2634,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1601\/revisions\/2634"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1601"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1601"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1601"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}