{"id":1580,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/disappointing-dollar-shake-shatters-first-year\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:57:53","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:57:53","slug":"disappointing-dollar-shake-shatters-first-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/disappointing-dollar-shake-shatters-first-year\/","title":{"rendered":"Disappointing Dollar Shake Shatters First Year"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By By Thomas Noriega<\/a><\/h6>\n
Aug. 17, 2017<\/h6>\n

As everyone on campus knows, students can get milkshakes in Reynolds Club for a dollar every Wednesday. Newly-minted first year Daniella Heinz had heard all about the longstanding UChicago tradition through the barrage of college advertising she had received.<\/p>\n

\u201cI live near an ice creamery back home in Wisconsin,\u201d Heinz said.<\/insert>,<\/delete> She went on, explaining, <\/insert>\u201cT<\/insert>T<\/delete>hey sell these excellent shakes dripping with all sorts of syrups and candies,<\/insert>,<\/delete> crowned with a<\/delete> mountains<\/insert> of whipped cream.<\/insert>,<\/delete> Of course, <\/insert>but <\/delete>they come at a price.\u201d But w<\/insert>W<\/delete>hen she heard that she could get a <\/delete>shakes at school<\/insert> for a dollar apiece<\/insert>, Heinz was understandably excited. \u201cMy parents only got my brother and me<\/insert>I<\/delete> shakes on special occasions, so I figured this would bring me feelings of home every week.\u201d <\/delete> <\/p>\n

Eager to experience her first UChicago shake, Heinz marched out to Reynolds her first Wednesday on campus. She<\/insert>Heinz<\/delete> reportedly saw the colossal line,<\/insert>,<\/delete> stretching through C-Shop<\/insert>Reynolds <\/delete> and spilling out across campus <\/delete>, as a good omen. \u201cOh man, look at all these people!\u201d she exclaimed.<\/insert>,<\/delete> \u201cN<\/insert>n<\/delete>obody would <\/insert>waits<\/delete> this long for a mediocre shake.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Heinz approached the counter, she joked to the employee managing the cash register, <\/insert>\u201cHeh, a bit small, aren\u2019t they?\u201d <\/delete>she <\/insert><\/delete>cheerily <\/delete>said of the shakes<\/delete><\/insert> The employee stared blankly <\/insert> at Heinz for a few long seconds<\/insert> <\/insert>before asking<\/insert> what toppings the first–<\/insert>year wanted. \u201cI\u2019ll have\u2026\u201d Heinz\u2019s voice trailed off, noticing her only choices were a couple of stale maraschino cherries, trace amounts of Oreo dust<\/insert>, and nearly–<\/insert>whipped cream, the last of which was,<\/insert> admittedly,<\/insert> pretty <\/insert>hard to mess up. \u201cWhipped cream and your, fullest, most intact Oreos, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Atop her shake<\/delete>Upon receiving her shake, <\/insert>Heinz saw only <\/insert>received <\/delete>a misshapen<\/insert>sizable<\/delete> mound of almost-<\/insert>whipped cream dusted with a few <\/insert>cookie crumbs<\/insert>. \u201cLooks can be deceiving,\u201d Heinz said hopefully<\/insert>hoped<\/delete>, her voice nevertheless<\/insert> faltering. She took a sip of the vanilla concoction. Her face fell. \u201cOh,\u201d Said Heinz, staring into the mediocre malt. \u201cOh…\u201d she repeated, absently stirring the drink as she gazed into the face of an uncaring universe.<\/p>\n

Heinz stumbled off to class, the existential void that<\/insert> had <\/insert>opened<\/insert>in<\/delete>g<\/delete> within her serving as great preparation<\/insert> for her imminent adulthood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By By Thomas Noriega Aug. 17, 2017 As everyone on campus knows, students can get milkshakes in Reynolds Club for a dollar every Wednesday. Newly-minted first year Daniella Heinz had heard all about the longstanding UChicago tradition through the barrage of college advertising she had received. \u201cI live near an ice creamery back home in Wisconsin,\u201d Heinz said., She went on, explaining, \u201cTThey sell these excellent shakes dripping with all sorts of syrups and candies,, crowned with a mountains of whipped cream., Of course, but they come at a price.\u201d But wWhen she heard that she could get a shakes at school for a dollar apiece, Heinz was understandably excited. \u201cMy parents only got my brother and meI shakes on special occasions, so I figured this would bring me feelings of home every week.\u201d Eager to experience her first UChicago shake, Heinz marched out to Reynolds her first Wednesday on campus. SheHeinz reportedly saw the colossal line,, stretching through C-ShopReynolds and spilling out across campus , as a good omen. \u201cOh man, look at all these people!\u201d she exclaimed., \u201cNnobody would waits this long for a mediocre shake.\u201d As Heinz approached the counter, she joked to the employee managing the cash register, \u201cHeh, a bit small, aren\u2019t they?\u201d she cheerily said of the shakes The employee stared blankly at Heinz for a few long seconds before asking what toppings the first–year wanted. \u201cI\u2019ll have\u2026\u201d Heinz\u2019s voice trailed off, noticing her only choices were a couple of stale maraschino cherries, trace amounts of Oreo dust, and nearly–whipped cream, the last of which was, admittedly, pretty hard to mess up. \u201cWhipped cream and your, fullest, most intact Oreos, please.\u201d Atop her shakeUpon receiving her shake, Heinz saw only received a misshapensizable mound of almost-whipped cream dusted with a few cookie crumbs. \u201cLooks can be deceiving,\u201d Heinz said hopefullyhoped, her voice nevertheless faltering. She took a sip of the vanilla concoction. Her face fell. \u201cOh,\u201d Said Heinz, staring into the mediocre malt. \u201cOh…\u201d she repeated, absently stirring the drink as she gazed into the face of an uncaring universe. Heinz stumbled off to class, the existential void that had openeding within her serving as great preparation for her imminent adulthood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1580"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2613,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1580\/revisions\/2613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}