{"id":1553,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/growing-student-movement-demands-university-divest-from-john-d-rockefellers-oil-suffused-corpse\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:57:51","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:57:51","slug":"growing-student-movement-demands-university-divest-from-john-d-rockefellers-oil-suffused-corpse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/growing-student-movement-demands-university-divest-from-john-d-rockefellers-oil-suffused-corpse\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing Student Movement Demands University Divest from John D. Rockefeller’s Oil-Suffused Corpse"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Thomas Noriega<\/a><\/h6>\n
Oct. 17, 2017<\/h6>\n<\/p>\n

<\/delete>The previous week saw the first major demonstration by student action group,<\/insert> \u201cMaroons Against Oil Corpse,”<\/insert><\/insert>Corpse-Oil<\/delete>\u201d,<\/delete> a new movement demanding that the university invest in renewable power rather than continue to use the petroleum-filled body of Standard Oil Company<\/insert> founder<\/insert>chief<\/delete> John D. Rockefeller as fuel. Members of the student body and faculty gathered on the Q<\/insert>q<\/delete>uad last Tuesday to demand that <\/insert>the administration stop relying on the hundreds of barrels of crude oil the former robber baron exudes from his tomb beneath Rockefeller Chapel.<\/p>\n

<\/delete>After his death in 1937, Rockefeller pledged his body to the university, citing the ceaseless flow of crude<\/insert>unrefined<\/delete> oil from his every orifice as a fitting contribution to the lasting health of the university. He was famously interred beneath the chapel bearing his name, his body<\/insert> <\/delete> placed within an ornate golden coffin connected to a massive combustion engine. This engine processed and burned the flow of oil, producing electricity for both <\/delete>the university and the surrounding neighborhoods. Upon the hulking contraption of metal and flame <\/delete>\u2014<\/insert>(<\/delete>r<\/insert>R<\/delete>enamed the Arley D. Cathey Memorial Corpse Engine in 2005 <\/delete>\u2014<\/insert> <\/delete>was placed a dedicatory plaque, bearing the famous inscription: \u201cThat the candle of knowledge be never snuffed out, Rockefeller\u2019s oil-blood shall forever spout\u201d<\/delete>.”<\/insert>.<\/delete><\/p>\n

<\/delete>But despite this inspiring legacy, <\/insert>environmentally and existentially conscious students are calling the 80-year–<\/insert> <\/delete>old Corpse Engine‘s efficacy<\/insert> into question. \u201cThe environmental impact is unprecedented,\u201d said fout<\/insert>4t<\/delete>h-year c<\/insert>C<\/delete>hemistry major Erika Lacy. \u201cIt\u2019s bad enough that nonrenewable energy sources are contributing to climate change, but university policy employs an infinitely renewable nonrenewable energy source, producing unlimited greenhouse gases. Rockefeller\u2019s secretions are the single most dangerous threat to our climate imaginable.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/delete>\u201cHonestly, UChicago can power itself however it wants,\u201d said seco<\/insert>2<\/delete>nd year g<\/insert>G<\/delete>lobal s<\/insert>S<\/delete>tudies major Sven Ottsborn. \u201cCoal, oil, solar, packs of horses on a treadmill, whatever. If I can understand the metaphysical basis of my electricity, I\u2019m OK with it, but a dead body tapping into an extradimensional supply of petroleum? That\u2019s not okay<\/insert>OK<\/delete>.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/delete>The university released a statement yesterday,<\/delete> asserting that violating the law of conservation of matter and all ethical standards surrounding the respectful treatment of the deceased was in keeping with the vision of the University of Chicago. \u201cWe bow before neither G<\/insert>g<\/delete>od nor man,\u201d the statement concluded,<\/insert>.<\/delete> \u201ca<\/insert>A<\/delete>nd we shall rebuild the edifice of understanding piece by piece until G<\/insert>g<\/delete>od and man alike bow before us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite the administration\u2019s defiance, members of the physics department have expressed interest in replacing Rockefeller\u2019s death engine with the much cleaner and safer Enrico Fermi Nuclear Corpse-Reactor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Thomas Noriega Oct. 17, 2017 The previous week saw the first major demonstration by student action group, \u201cMaroons Against Oil Corpse,”Corpse-Oil\u201d, a new movement demanding that the university invest in renewable power rather than continue to use the petroleum-filled body of Standard Oil Company founderchief John D. Rockefeller as fuel. Members of the student body and faculty gathered on the Qquad last Tuesday to demand that the administration stop relying on the hundreds of barrels of crude oil the former robber baron exudes from his tomb beneath Rockefeller Chapel. After his death in 1937, Rockefeller pledged his body to the university, citing the ceaseless flow of crudeunrefined oil from his every orifice as a fitting contribution to the lasting health of the university. He was famously interred beneath the chapel bearing his name, his body placed within an ornate golden coffin connected to a massive combustion engine. This engine processed and burned the flow of oil, producing electricity for both the university and the surrounding neighborhoods. Upon the hulking contraption of metal and flame \u2014(rRenamed the Arley D. Cathey Memorial Corpse Engine in 2005 \u2014 was placed a dedicatory plaque, bearing the famous inscription: \u201cThat the candle of knowledge be never snuffed out, Rockefeller\u2019s oil-blood shall forever spout\u201d.”. But despite this inspiring legacy, environmentally and existentially conscious students are calling the 80-year– old Corpse Engine‘s efficacy into question. \u201cThe environmental impact is unprecedented,\u201d said fout4th-year cChemistry major Erika Lacy. \u201cIt\u2019s bad enough that nonrenewable energy sources are contributing to climate change, but university policy employs an infinitely renewable nonrenewable energy source, producing unlimited greenhouse gases. Rockefeller\u2019s secretions are the single most dangerous threat to our climate imaginable.\u201d \u201cHonestly, UChicago can power itself however it wants,\u201d said seco2nd year gGlobal sStudies major Sven Ottsborn. \u201cCoal, oil, solar, packs of horses on a treadmill, whatever. If I can understand the metaphysical basis of my electricity, I\u2019m OK with it, but a dead body tapping into an extradimensional supply of petroleum? That\u2019s not okayOK.\u201d The university released a statement yesterday, asserting that violating the law of conservation of matter and all ethical standards surrounding the respectful treatment of the deceased was in keeping with the vision of the University of Chicago. \u201cWe bow before neither Ggod nor man,\u201d the statement concluded,. \u201caAnd we shall rebuild the edifice of understanding piece by piece until Ggod and man alike bow before us.\u201d Despite the administration\u2019s defiance, members of the physics department have expressed interest in replacing Rockefeller\u2019s death engine with the much cleaner and safer Enrico Fermi Nuclear Corpse-Reactor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1553","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1553"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1553\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2586,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1553\/revisions\/2586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1553"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1553"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}