{"id":1552,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/campuss-hottest-new-hookup-spot-dean-boyers-bike\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:57:51","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:57:51","slug":"campuss-hottest-new-hookup-spot-dean-boyers-bike","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/campuss-hottest-new-hookup-spot-dean-boyers-bike\/","title":{"rendered":"Campus’s Hottest New Hookup Spot? Dean Boyer’s Bike"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Sarah de Vegvar<\/a><\/h6>\n
Oct. 17, 2017<\/h6>\n<\/p>\n

While UChicago lays claim to the nickname \u201cwhere fun comes to die,<\/insert>.<\/delete>\u201d it could easily and realistically really<\/delete><\/insert>t<\/delete><\/insert>T<\/delete>he nickname<\/delete> should realistically<\/delete>be shortened to <\/insert>\u201cwhere fun cums.\u201d As we all know, <\/insert>UChicago has a thriving hookup culture full of curious, open-minded individuals. In a recent poll of top hookup spots, UChicago\u2019s eclectic student body has chosen the one and only back of Dean Boyer\u2019s bike<\/delete> as the hot, new hookup spot on campus the one and only back of Dean Boyer’s bike<\/insert>.<\/p>\n

The Shady<\/delete> Dealer<\/i> has received reports that its busiest hours are from early evening to just <\/insert>after dark. The act is usually achieved by having both participating members perched in the basket and with the Dean pedaling from the bicycle seat. <\/p>\n

Dean Boyer\u2019s b<\/insert>ike has replaced UChicago students\u2019 <\/delete>\u2014<\/insert>( <\/delete>and friends \ud83d\ude09 <\/delete>\u2014<\/insert>) <\/delete>previous favou<\/delete>rite hook up spot, the Rockefeller Bell Tower, named after the Rockefellers,<\/delete> which has been<\/delete> dethroned after <\/delete>experienced<\/insert>ing<\/delete> a respectable eight<\/insert>8<\/delete> months in the number one<\/insert> spot. \u201cSure,<\/insert> the bell tower is great, but after a while it feels like you can\u2019t even hear people hooking up <\/insert>them<\/delete> anymore,” s<\/insert>.\u201d S<\/delete>aid Dill Doh before yelling,<\/insert> “<\/insert>WHAT?!”<\/insert> in response to every other follow–<\/insert> <\/delete>up question. Rockefeller Bell Tower has been reporting a steady decline in activity since a flock of thirty<\/insert>30<\/delete> pigeons decided to roost in the bell. <\/p>\n

Dean Boyer\u2019s b<\/insert>B<\/delete>ike has reportedly seen a 160% increase in <\/insert>rise<\/delete> of<\/insert><\/delete> as much as 160% of<\/delete> young couples engaging in intimate intercourse within the past three months. While there was a slight drop in late June due to complaint<\/insert>s about the squeakiness of the wheels, Dean Boyer has gotten his gears oiled, and the bike\u2019s popularity is on the rise again.<\/p>\n

Dominic (Dom) Khan explains the lure of the bike:<\/insert>,<\/delete> \u201cThe advantage of Dean Boyer\u2019s b<\/insert>B<\/delete>ike is that you really get to see the campus in a whole new way. It brings the experience of sucking on another person\u2019s face lips to a whole new level.\u201d His partner Hannah (Han) Jawb added,<\/insert>chimed in,<\/delete> \u201cPersonally, my favou<\/delete>rite part is when he mutters \u2018number 3, number 3, number 3\u2019 under his breath continuously. Nothing helps like a good rhythm<\/insert>It gives my boyfriend a way to time his strokes<\/delete>.\u201d <\/p>\n

\tProfessionals recommend that curious young people,<\/delete> should try it out before the winter sets in,<\/insert> as last year the Health and Wellness Center had more penis–<\/insert> <\/delete>stuck–<\/insert> <\/delete>to–<\/insert> <\/delete>bike incidents than could be meditated away.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Sarah de Vegvar Oct. 17, 2017 While UChicago lays claim to the nickname \u201cwhere fun comes to die,.\u201d it could easily and realistically reallytThe nickname should realisticallybe shortened to \u201cwhere fun cums.\u201d As we all know, UChicago has a thriving hookup culture full of curious, open-minded individuals. In a recent poll of top hookup spots, UChicago\u2019s eclectic student body has chosen the one and only back of Dean Boyer\u2019s bike as the hot, new hookup spot on campus the one and only back of Dean Boyer’s bike. The Shady Dealer has received reports that its busiest hours are from early evening to just after dark. The act is usually achieved by having both participating members perched in the basket and with the Dean pedaling from the bicycle seat. Dean Boyer\u2019s bike has replaced UChicago students\u2019 \u2014( and friends \ud83d\ude09 \u2014) previous favourite hook up spot, the Rockefeller Bell Tower, named after the Rockefellers, which has been dethroned after experienceding a respectable eight8 months in the number one spot. \u201cSure, the bell tower is great, but after a while it feels like you can\u2019t even hear people hooking up them anymore,” s.\u201d Said Dill Doh before yelling, “WHAT?!” in response to every other follow– up question. Rockefeller Bell Tower has been reporting a steady decline in activity since a flock of thirty30 pigeons decided to roost in the bell. Dean Boyer\u2019s bBike has reportedly seen a 160% increase in rise of as much as 160% of young couples engaging in intimate intercourse within the past three months. While there was a slight drop in late June due to complaints about the squeakiness of the wheels, Dean Boyer has gotten his gears oiled, and the bike\u2019s popularity is on the rise again. Dominic (Dom) Khan explains the lure of the bike:, \u201cThe advantage of Dean Boyer\u2019s bBike is that you really get to see the campus in a whole new way. It brings the experience of sucking on another person\u2019s face lips to a whole new level.\u201d His partner Hannah (Han) Jawb added,chimed in, \u201cPersonally, my favourite part is when he mutters \u2018number 3, number 3, number 3\u2019 under his breath continuously. Nothing helps like a good rhythmIt gives my boyfriend a way to time his strokes.\u201d Professionals recommend that curious young people, should try it out before the winter sets in, as last year the Health and Wellness Center had more penis– stuck– to– bike incidents than could be meditated away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1552"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2585,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1552\/revisions\/2585"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}