CARTHAGE, CARTHAGINIAN EMPIRE, 146 BC – Romans have finally conquered the city of Carthage in North Africa following a siege lasting over two years. Although a peace treaty was signed between the two Mediterranean powers, Carthage declared war on Rome in what has been described as \u201cstupid\u201d by many citizens of Carthage.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t declare war on the Romans, they\u2019re the Romans,\u201d claimed one man at the time, who chose to remain anonymous. \u201cWe marched 30 war elephants over the Alps last time and still lost to them. How many elephants do we have this time? None.\u201d<\/p>\n
Two years later, and the war has finally ended, with the spoils going to the Roman Empire in what some have called \u201ca dick move.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a real shitty, dick move of those Romans,”\u00a0 explained native Carthaginian Clitomachus. “I don\u2019t even care that much about politics because I think that borders and governments are unnecessary social constructs, but they really went to town on Carthage, no pun intended.\u201d<\/p>\n
What he is referencing, of course, is the burning and leveling of Carthage, making a once great city disappear entirely.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe worst part of it all was the salt. Those Romans are so white that they only put salt on our city. They could have used pepper or ginger to give the flames of our city a nice aroma, but they only used salt. You know, I bet they thought the salt was a spicy punishment for us,\u201d said Clitomachus.<\/p>\n
Indeed, some even claim to have heard Roman soldiers exclaim, \u201cWe\u2019ll see if you can handle this heat, you stupid Carthaginians,\u201d as they delicately poured a couple grains of salt onto a patch of land.<\/p>\n
As it would appear, the Romans have conquered many lands and invented many new technologies, but still do not know how to properly season a flamb\u00e9ed city. One can only imagine what they do to their food. The spoils of victory have gone to the Romans; however, in this case it seems as though none of the spoils are spices.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
CARTHAGE, CARTHAGINIAN EMPIRE, 146 BC – Romans have finally conquered the city of Carthage in North Africa following a siege lasting over two years. Although a peace treaty was signed between the two Mediterranean powers, Carthage declared war on Rome in what has been described as \u201cstupid\u201d by many citizens of Carthage. \u201cYou don\u2019t declare war on the Romans, they\u2019re the Romans,\u201d claimed one man at the time, who chose to remain anonymous. \u201cWe marched 30 war elephants over the Alps last time and still lost to them. How many elephants do we have this time? None.\u201d Two years later, and the war has finally ended, with the spoils going to the Roman Empire in what some have called \u201ca dick move.\u201d \u201cIt was a real shitty, dick move of those Romans,”\u00a0 explained native Carthaginian Clitomachus. “I don\u2019t even care that much about politics because I think that borders and governments are unnecessary social constructs, but they really went to town on Carthage, no pun intended.\u201d What he is referencing, of course, is the burning and leveling of Carthage, making a once great city disappear entirely. \u201cThe worst part of it all was the salt. Those Romans are so white that they only put salt on our city. They could have used pepper or ginger to give the flames of our city a nice aroma, but they only used salt. You know, I bet they thought the salt was a spicy punishment for us,\u201d said Clitomachus. Indeed, some even claim to have heard Roman soldiers exclaim, \u201cWe\u2019ll see if you can handle this heat, you stupid Carthaginians,\u201d as they delicately poured a couple grains of salt onto a patch of land. As it would appear, the Romans have conquered many lands and invented many new technologies, but still do not know how to properly season a flamb\u00e9ed city. One can only imagine what they do to their food. The spoils of victory have gone to the Romans; however, in this case it seems as though none of the spoils are spices.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[11],"class_list":["post-155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-historical-issue","tag-15-4"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=155"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5474,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions\/5474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}