<\/p>\n
Do animals have souls? Does God speak to them? What happens if you give them a ton <\/em>of DMT? These are the questions I hoped to answer in my graduate thesis at the Divinity School, but the prudes in charge wouldn\u2019t approve any of my proposals 1. Fish — I honestly thought that giving DMT to a fish was a no 2. Dog — I\u2019ve already done DMT with my dog a couple of times and was hoping I could just write about that, but apparently drinking ayahuasca tea out of a dog bowl and watching The Holy Mountain<\/i> \u201cisn\u2019t rigorous enough\u201d for the squares in the 3. Lab rat — There\u2019s honestly NO good reason for me not to be able to give DMT to lab rats, but the narcs in the biology department shut me down. I tried to explain to them that tripping out with these rats would be way cooler than whatever 4. Gorilla — So I honestly don\u2019t think this one would generate much useful data for my thesis but holy shit, don\u2019t you want to do DMT with a gorilla? That shit sounds so chill, he\u2019d probably start shaking his big gorilla butt around! It\u2019d be so awesome! I can\u2019t believe you religious studies guys don\u2019t think that sounds awesome.<\/p>\n 5. Frog — Do frogs know about By Nik Varley Oct. 17, 2017 Do animals have souls? Does God speak to them? What happens if you give them a ton of DMT? These are the questions I hoped to answer in my graduate thesis at the Divinity School, but the prudes in charge wouldn\u2019t approve any of my proposals or grant applications. Check out this list of every animal that the Div School wouldn\u2019t let me dose with hallucinogens and tell me that any one of these wouldn\u2019t make for a great thesis. 1. Fish — I honestly thought that giving DMT to a fish was a no– brainer, but apparently nobody\u2019s really interested in what fish think about God and how that may or may not be affected by DMT. This sucks because I\u2019m actually really curious about what a fish would be like on hallucinogens, especially after I did DMT at the aquarium. 2. Dog — I\u2019ve already done DMT with my dog a couple of times and was hoping I could just write about that, but apparently drinking ayahuasca tea out of a dog bowl and watching The Holy Mountain \u201cisn\u2019t rigorous enough\u201d for the squares in the Ddivinity Sschool. 3. Lab rat — There\u2019s honestly NO good reason for me not to be able to give DMT to lab rats, but the narcs in the biology department shut me down. I tried to explain to them that tripping out with these rats would be way cooler than whatever “\u2018AIDS research“\u2019 they bought the rats for originally, but they wouldn\u2019t budge. Nerds. 4. Gorilla — So I honestly don\u2019t think this one would generate much useful data for my thesis but holy shit, don\u2019t you want to do DMT with a gorilla? That shit sounds so chill, he\u2019d probably start shaking his big gorilla butt around! It\u2019d be so awesome! I can\u2019t believe you religious studies guys don\u2019t think that sounds awesome. 5. Frog — Do frogs know about Ggod? Nobody knows, and now no one ever will because they wouldn\u2019t let me purchase 50-100 live frogs for the express purpose of pumping them full of DMT. The frogs are probably going to live their whole froggy lives without ever taking a psychedelic journey of spiritual discovery which is a total bummer, but I guess it\u2019s okay because they\u2019re just frogs. 6. Divinity School Dean Laurie Zoloth — No matter how much I talk to her about it, Laurie will NOT do DMT with me. I keep telling her that she\u2019ll be way better at studying religion once her spirit guide shows her how every human soul converges into a single infinite point of beautiful light in the pulsing womb of the universe, but she never responds to my emails. Honestly, she\u2019d be way less uptight if she would just trip with me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1546","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1546"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1546\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2579,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1546\/revisions\/2579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1546"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1546"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1546"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}