{"id":1519,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/participation-trophy-losing-oscar-nominees-will-receive-a-complimentary-fish-penis-inspired-by-the-shape-of-water\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:57:45","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:57:45","slug":"participation-trophy-losing-oscar-nominees-will-receive-a-complimentary-fish-penis-inspired-by-the-shape-of-water","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/participation-trophy-losing-oscar-nominees-will-receive-a-complimentary-fish-penis-inspired-by-the-shape-of-water\/","title":{"rendered":"Participation Trophy! Losing Oscar Nominees Will Receive a Complimentary Fish Penis Inspired by The Shape of Water!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/shadybucket.s3.amazonaws.com\/images\/28537821_1825788407454894_1672233546_n.width-1280.jpg\" alt=\" \" \/><\/p>\n<h6>By <a href=\"\/search?author=Dealer Newsdesk\">Dealer Newsdesk<\/a><\/h6>\n<h6>Feb. 19, 2018<\/h6>\n<p>Oscars 2018<\/p>\n<p>Tonight, thousands of Americans will tune in to the Oscars and celebrate many of Hollywood\u2019s<\/p>\n<p>most talented actors and filmmakers. And, even though only a few nominees will take home<\/p>\n<p>the coveted golden statuette, the Academy has found a way to make sure that everybody wins:<\/p>\n<p>by giving each nominee a fish penis inspired by Guillermo Del Toro\u2019s <i>The Shape of Water<\/i>!<\/p>\n<p>Heartwarming!<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>The penises, authentic replicas of the ones used in Del Toro\u2019s Oscar-nominated film, feature<\/p>\n<p>realistic scales, slime coatings and \u201cfish smell.\u201d Nominees will reportedly also receive several<\/p>\n<p>varieties of algae-based lubricant, which the Academy has assured them are \u201cone-hundred-<\/p>\n<p>percent bath safe\u201d<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>\u201cI guess it\u2019s a nice gesture,\u201d said a perplexed Gary Oldman. \u201cApparently even if I don\u2019t win Best<\/p>\n<p>Actor in a Leading Role, I will win the Academy\u2019s new Fish Penis Award, which is still better than<\/p>\n<p>nothing. And it will definitely spice up my IMDB page.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>At press time, ushers were frantically picking up loose penises which had escaped their bags in<\/p>\n<p>a mad dash towards the sea.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Dealer Newsdesk Feb. 19, 2018 Oscars 2018 Tonight, thousands of Americans will tune in to the Oscars and celebrate many of Hollywood\u2019s most talented actors and filmmakers. And, even though only a few nominees will take home the coveted golden statuette, the Academy has found a way to make sure that everybody wins: by giving each nominee a fish penis inspired by Guillermo Del Toro\u2019s The Shape of Water! Heartwarming! The penises, authentic replicas of the ones used in Del Toro\u2019s Oscar-nominated film, feature realistic scales, slime coatings and \u201cfish smell.\u201d Nominees will reportedly also receive several varieties of algae-based lubricant, which the Academy has assured them are \u201cone-hundred- percent bath safe\u201d \u201cI guess it\u2019s a nice gesture,\u201d said a perplexed Gary Oldman. \u201cApparently even if I don\u2019t win Best Actor in a Leading Role, I will win the Academy\u2019s new Fish Penis Award, which is still better than nothing. And it will definitely spice up my IMDB page.\u201d At press time, ushers were frantically picking up loose penises which had escaped their bags in a mad dash towards the sea.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1519","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1519"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1519\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2552,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1519\/revisions\/2552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1519"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1519"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1519"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}