{"id":1513,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/just-drink-the-damn-tea\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:57:44","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:57:44","slug":"just-drink-the-damn-tea","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/just-drink-the-damn-tea\/","title":{"rendered":"Just Drink the Damn Tea"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/shadybucket.s3.amazonaws.com\/images\/Te_Amo.width-300.jpg\" alt=\" \" \/><\/p>\n<h6>By <a href=\"\/search?author=Te Amo\">Te Amo<\/a><\/h6>\n<h6>Feb. 20, 2018<\/h6>\n<p>Te Amo Boba Bar<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, yeah, we\u2019ve heard it all, you sniveling chumps. \u201cUgh, Te Amo\u2019s so expensive\u201d; \u201cWhy do I have to pay extra for boba?\u201d; \u201cOh no, they never have anything I want to order.\u201d We hear you, we understand you, but we don\u2019t actually fucking care. Just drink the fucking tea.<\/p>\n<p>\tOh? Are the widdle babies sad they have to pay a lot? Why don\u2019t mommy and daddy send you another Canada Goose to wipe your snotty noses on, you baby-backed brats? You want some boba? Whoop-dee-fucking-doo, we have some. If you don\u2019t want it, go spend a fucking year on the CTA to go get some. Or you can suck our tapioca balls, because however much you keep whining, there\u2019s a reason we\u2019re always out of tea, and it\u2019s not because you preppy fucks find somewhere else to take selfies with your mango-peach boba.<\/p>\n<p>\tThere\u2019s a lot we could do to improve, and we\u2019ve definitely received a bunch of criticism in our first few weeks in Hyde Park. But until you whiny suckers stop spending money from the internship your pederast got for you last summer on our crap tea, then feel free to eat shit and shut up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Te Amo Feb. 20, 2018 Te Amo Boba Bar Yeah, yeah, we\u2019ve heard it all, you sniveling chumps. \u201cUgh, Te Amo\u2019s so expensive\u201d; \u201cWhy do I have to pay extra for boba?\u201d; \u201cOh no, they never have anything I want to order.\u201d We hear you, we understand you, but we don\u2019t actually fucking care. Just drink the fucking tea. Oh? Are the widdle babies sad they have to pay a lot? Why don\u2019t mommy and daddy send you another Canada Goose to wipe your snotty noses on, you baby-backed brats? You want some boba? Whoop-dee-fucking-doo, we have some. If you don\u2019t want it, go spend a fucking year on the CTA to go get some. Or you can suck our tapioca balls, because however much you keep whining, there\u2019s a reason we\u2019re always out of tea, and it\u2019s not because you preppy fucks find somewhere else to take selfies with your mango-peach boba. There\u2019s a lot we could do to improve, and we\u2019ve definitely received a bunch of criticism in our first few weeks in Hyde Park. But until you whiny suckers stop spending money from the internship your pederast got for you last summer on our crap tea, then feel free to eat shit and shut up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1513","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1513"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2546,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1513\/revisions\/2546"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}