![\"](\"https:\/\/shadybucket.s3.amazonaws.com\/images\/Pro-Baseball-STACK.width-1280.jpg\")
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The 2018 Major League Baseball season officially kicked off earlier this April, and fans across the baseball spectrum already cannot wait for the games to be over.<\/p>\n
From 2012 to 2017, the average length of a baseball game (18 half-innings) increased from 3 hours to 3 hours and 8 minutes. While this increase may not seem significant, adding 8 minutes across 2,430 regular season games contributed roughly 13.5 additional days to the season. To put that into perspective, Anthony Scaramucci only served 6 days as the White House communications director back in 2017 and Major League Baseball needs to account for the 2.25 Scaramuccis of baseball added to recent seasons.\u00a0<\/p>\n
With the pace of games in the NBA and NFL steadily increasing, it would certainly behoove Major League Baseball to start making some changes of its own in order to catch up. So without further ado, here are the Shady Dealer\u2019s top ten ways to make baseball games shorter in 2018: <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Baseball, the game itself.<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Turn the pitcher\u2019s mound into an anthill.<\/p>\n
Keeps pitchers on their toes and reluctant to stall.<\/p>\n
2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Spin a wheel before each game to determine what inning to start the game at.<\/p>\n
Instant win if it lands on the “Bonus” wedge!<\/p>\n
3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Eliminate the seventh inning stretch.<\/p>\n
It is baseball, not choir practice.<\/p>\n
4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If the crowd attempts to perform \u201cthe wave,\u201d end the game right there.<\/p>\n
Fuck that celebration, waves kill dozens of sailors every summer.<\/p>\n
5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Place hidden mines in the outfield.<\/p>\n
Can\u2019t keep playing after a tragedy, right?<\/p>\n
6.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Angels in the outfield.<\/p>\n
Self-explanatory; great movie.<\/p>\n
7.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Replace baseball bats with animal bats.<\/p>\n
Much harder to hit with.<\/p>\n
8.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Make baseballs out of vibranium.<\/p>\n
Will go through any bat; imagine all the strikeouts.<\/p>\n
9.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tape Vuvuzelas under every chair in the stadium before each game.<\/p>\n
Hopefully the game ends before you have to end yourself.<\/p>\n
10.\u00a0 Let fans throw things onto the field if innings go beyond 10 minutes.<\/p>\n
Bobble-head and Margarita nights will become even more popular with attendees. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Brian Baek April 20, 2018 The 2018 Major League Baseball season officially kicked off earlier this April, and fans across the baseball spectrum already cannot wait for the games to be over. From 2012 to 2017, the average length of a baseball game (18 half-innings) increased from 3 hours to 3 hours and 8 minutes. While this increase may not seem significant, adding 8 minutes across 2,430 regular season games contributed roughly 13.5 additional days to the season. To put that into perspective, Anthony Scaramucci only served 6 days as the White House communications director back in 2017 and Major League Baseball needs to account for the 2.25 Scaramuccis of baseball added to recent seasons.\u00a0 With the pace of games in the NBA and NFL steadily increasing, it would certainly behoove Major League Baseball to start making some changes of its own in order to catch up. So without further ado, here are the Shady Dealer\u2019s top ten ways to make baseball games shorter in 2018: Baseball, the game itself. 1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Turn the pitcher\u2019s mound into an anthill. Keeps pitchers on their toes and reluctant to stall. 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Spin a wheel before each game to determine what inning to start the game at. Instant win if it lands on the “Bonus” wedge! 3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Eliminate the seventh inning stretch. It is baseball, not choir practice. 4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If the crowd attempts to perform \u201cthe wave,\u201d end the game right there. Fuck that celebration, waves kill dozens of sailors every summer. 5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Place hidden mines in the outfield. Can\u2019t keep playing after a tragedy, right? 6.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Angels in the outfield. Self-explanatory; great movie. 7.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Replace baseball bats with animal bats. Much harder to hit with. 8.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Make baseballs out of vibranium. Will go through any bat; imagine all the strikeouts. 9.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Tape Vuvuzelas under every chair in the stadium before each game. Hopefully the game ends before you have to end yourself. 10.\u00a0 Let fans throw things onto the field if innings go beyond 10 minutes. Bobble-head and Margarita nights will become even more popular with attendees.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1495","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1495","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1495"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1495\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2528,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1495\/revisions\/2528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1495"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1495"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1495"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}