<\/p>\n
University administrators reportedly shut down the Alumni Weekend DMT Garden following reports of mass vomiting and hysterical preaching. The garden, initially intended as a relaxed environment in which alumni could enjoy hallucinogenic N<\/i>,N<\/i>-Dimethyltryptamine, quickly became both a health and safety hazard as visitors collectively regurgitated before succumbing to a religious frenzy.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u201cWe spotted several wide-eyed alumni wandering nude through the Quad proselytizing to passing students,\u201d said Alumni Association President Megan Rosenbaum. \u201cAt that point, we realized that the whole thing was probably a bad idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0Unfortunately, by the time Rosenbaum shut down the event, most of the Garden\u2019s occupants were already \u201cfully tripping out.\u201d Despite the best efforts of security officers, a band of delusional alumni successfully broke in to the Divinity School and demanded that the religious scholars acknowledge that \u201call religions are one when the ego dissolves and the human unconscious can infinitely expand into hyperspace.” They then proceeded to eat all of the raw coffee beans in Grounds of Being and subsequently threw up on several illuminated manuscripts in the Divinity\u2019s School\u2019s collection.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u201cYeah, the whole thing was a complete mess,\u201d said third year witness Emily McDonough. \u201cThe Alumni Association basically had to round up them up like escaped zoo animals. That said, one of them gave me some pretty good ideas for my religious studies before he started trying to chew my Converse off my feet. So I guess it wasn\u2019t totally unproductive.\u201d<\/p>\n
At press time, the Alumni Association released a statement reminding the University community that at least the DMT Garden wasn\u2019t as catastrophic as last year\u2019s \u201cbear garden.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Nik Varley May 25, 2018 University administrators reportedly shut down the Alumni Weekend DMT Garden following reports of mass vomiting and hysterical preaching. The garden, initially intended as a relaxed environment in which alumni could enjoy hallucinogenic N,N-Dimethyltryptamine, quickly became both a health and safety hazard as visitors collectively regurgitated before succumbing to a religious frenzy. \u00a0\u201cWe spotted several wide-eyed alumni wandering nude through the Quad proselytizing to passing students,\u201d said Alumni Association President Megan Rosenbaum. \u201cAt that point, we realized that the whole thing was probably a bad idea.\u201d \u00a0Unfortunately, by the time Rosenbaum shut down the event, most of the Garden\u2019s occupants were already \u201cfully tripping out.\u201d Despite the best efforts of security officers, a band of delusional alumni successfully broke in to the Divinity School and demanded that the religious scholars acknowledge that \u201call religions are one when the ego dissolves and the human unconscious can infinitely expand into hyperspace.” They then proceeded to eat all of the raw coffee beans in Grounds of Being and subsequently threw up on several illuminated manuscripts in the Divinity\u2019s School\u2019s collection. \u00a0\u201cYeah, the whole thing was a complete mess,\u201d said third year witness Emily McDonough. \u201cThe Alumni Association basically had to round up them up like escaped zoo animals. That said, one of them gave me some pretty good ideas for my religious studies before he started trying to chew my Converse off my feet. So I guess it wasn\u2019t totally unproductive.\u201d At press time, the Alumni Association released a statement reminding the University community that at least the DMT Garden wasn\u2019t as catastrophic as last year\u2019s \u201cbear garden.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-komono"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1458","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1458"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1458\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2491,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1458\/revisions\/2491"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1458"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1458"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1458"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}