<\/p>\n
Startling readers and baffling journalistic style guidelines everywhere, you\u00a0won’t\u00a0believe\u00a0the answer you hear when we ask the hot-button question that\u2019s on everyone\u2019s mind: Did the headline of this article really just blankly state a pointlessly obvious question, instead of actually conveying any information of substance to its audience?<\/p>\n
\u00a0Well we, the intrepid journalists of the Chicago Shady Dealer, have done our digging to get the real scoop on this week\u2019s most scandalous and sensational line of inquiry. But what we eventually discovered\u00a0shocked\u00a0even the most experienced editors in our staff!\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cBut how could that be?\u201d\u00a0you ask.\u00a0“What\u2019s\u00a0really\u00a0going on with those big words at the top of this column?\u201d<\/p>\n
“Does any of it mean anything?\u201d<\/p>\n
“Can a mere question actually be considered\u00a0news\u00a0of any kind?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0“Are the writers really so creatively bankrupt that they\u2019d resorted to employing hollow, attention-grabbing, tabloid clickbait schlock tactics just to drum up more business?\u201d<\/p>\n
For the answers to all these questions and so many more, look no further than the next five or six sentences, because not only do we not know how you\u2019ll react to the answers we\u2019re about to give you, but we have no idea just how much longer we can pad out this article for content!\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cBut,\u00a0why\u00a0just a question?\u201d you\u2019re still asking. \u201cWouldn\u2019t it make more sense just to summarize the content of the article in a brief declarative statement?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoesn\u2019t posing every potential new piece of knowledge as an open question not only muddle the meaning of an otherwise-innocuous fluff piece with unnecessary ambiguity and overt bias, but also fail to actually inform anyone of anything, wasting both the reader’s\u00a0and\u00a0the writer\u2019s time and energy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWas this article even\u00a0about\u00a0anything in the first place, or is it now just a receptacle for its writer\u2019s vain, self-referential satirical navel-gazing?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n