<\/p>\n
In the logical conclusion of a prolonged struggle over the core values of the University of Chicago, the\u00a0Blue Chips announced their dissolution late last week. The heads of the official investment banking organization justified it as a means to maintain their prestige and exclusivity in the face of an increasing number of applicants.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had an application process, but it just wasn\u2019t rigorous enough,\u201d commented the head of the organization, Evan Glazer. He continued, \u201cI mean like, seriously, we had people who were applying who hadn\u2019t managed a portfolio of at least $10,000 for their high school. Can you imagine what that would do to us? The shame of having to admit people who might not be interested in economics? It would result in the destruction of the University as an institution.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Given the demise of the University\u2019s premier organization for economic pursuits, this year\u2019s applicants have reacted with great distress. We spoke to two first-years and rejected applicants, Mike Hawkins and Joyce McClintock, who still had a dim glow of green dollar bills in their eyes from before they arrived. Both of them described the demise of Blue Chips as \u201cthe end of the world as we know it.\u201d Mike lamented, \u201cNow there\u2019s no way I will ever be able to learn the rigorous theory of business economics and land a job at a comfy hedge fund!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joyce agreed. \u201cIt gets even worse–I won\u2019t be able to invest in morally questionable enterprises until after I graduate!\u201d Distraught over the future disappearing in front of them, they broke down into sobs.<\/p>\n
Despair is not the only emotion on campus, though. The administration, led by President Zimmer, is planning to re-constitute an investment group by next year to give Economics majors the training they need to succeed. As per university policy, the RSO will be named \u201cThe Kenneth C. Griffin Organization for Prudent Investments.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Rahul Gupta Oct. 26, 2018 In the logical conclusion of a prolonged struggle over the core values of the University of Chicago, the\u00a0Blue Chips announced their dissolution late last week. The heads of the official investment banking organization justified it as a means to maintain their prestige and exclusivity in the face of an increasing number of applicants. \u201cWe had an application process, but it just wasn\u2019t rigorous enough,\u201d commented the head of the organization, Evan Glazer. He continued, \u201cI mean like, seriously, we had people who were applying who hadn\u2019t managed a portfolio of at least $10,000 for their high school. Can you imagine what that would do to us? The shame of having to admit people who might not be interested in economics? It would result in the destruction of the University as an institution.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 Given the demise of the University\u2019s premier organization for economic pursuits, this year\u2019s applicants have reacted with great distress. We spoke to two first-years and rejected applicants, Mike Hawkins and Joyce McClintock, who still had a dim glow of green dollar bills in their eyes from before they arrived. Both of them described the demise of Blue Chips as \u201cthe end of the world as we know it.\u201d Mike lamented, \u201cNow there\u2019s no way I will ever be able to learn the rigorous theory of business economics and land a job at a comfy hedge fund!\u201d Joyce agreed. \u201cIt gets even worse–I won\u2019t be able to invest in morally questionable enterprises until after I graduate!\u201d Distraught over the future disappearing in front of them, they broke down into sobs. Despair is not the only emotion on campus, though. The administration, led by President Zimmer, is planning to re-constitute an investment group by next year to give Economics majors the training they need to succeed. As per university policy, the RSO will be named \u201cThe Kenneth C. Griffin Organization for Prudent Investments.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1424"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1424"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1424\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2457,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1424\/revisions\/2457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}