{"id":1417,"date":"2013-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.224.237.165\/index.php\/2019\/02\/25\/how-to-communicate-with-your-parents-through-your-amazon-order-history\/"},"modified":"2019-02-26T04:57:26","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T21:57:26","slug":"how-to-communicate-with-your-parents-through-your-amazon-order-history","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/2013\/03\/16\/how-to-communicate-with-your-parents-through-your-amazon-order-history\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Communicate with Your Parents Through Your Amazon Order History"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"<\/p>\n

By Audrey Fromson<\/a><\/h6>\n
Oct. 27, 2018<\/h6>\n

It\u2019s amazingly easy to forget about the people who brought us into this world.<\/p>\n

Ghosting my parents is my fatal flaw; while it makes me seem cool and mysterious, it also annoys the fuck out of them. However, I\u2019m pleased to share that I applied my critical thinking skills and developed a new method for staying in touch with them. The best part is that it doesn\u2019t require a cell phone.<\/p>\n

Amazon.com might be the digital equivalent of the impulse-buy aisle of CVS, but it is more useful than it might appear. I\u2019ve been using my family\u2019s Amazon account order history to say the things I don\u2019t say over the phone. Find out how Amazon helps me send messages to my parents and decipher theirs as well.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Item: Wee-Wee Pads<\/p>\n

Buyer: Parents<\/p>\n

What it says: Once you left again for college, we realized how much we actually missed someone constantly needing our attention with no reciprocated emotional support. We got a puppy!<\/p>\n

What it actually says: We\u2019ve decided to exchange one bitch with another.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Item: Smart Meal Prep for Beginners<\/p>\n

Buyer: Audrey<\/p>\n

What it says: Mom, I\u2019m doing okay living off campus! Not only do I have a newfound passion for cooking, but I also know my limits. Notice \u201cfor beginners\u201d.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Buyer: Parent, specifically maternal unit<\/p>\n

What it says: I\u2019m finally Taking Time For Myself and learning Tai Chi. What\u2019s more? I\u2019m converting your bedroom into my new at-home studio.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Item: Spain travel guide (pocket size!)<\/p>\n

Buyer: Audrey<\/p>\n

What it says: Since our communication is already so weak, I think it would be interesting to go abroad spring quarter to test just how far I can push the not-being-in-touch envelope (I hope you have international stamps).<\/p>\n

Lonely planet? More like lonely parent!<\/p>\n

This Family Weekend, I hope I\u2019ve helped you understand how to evaluate how you communicate with the important people in you life. And not to worry, if you don\u2019t have an Amazon account, you can always analyze what\u2019s been brewing in the \u201ccontinue watching\u201d section of your shared Netflix account.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/br><\/br><\/img><\/br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Audrey Fromson Oct. 27, 2018 It\u2019s amazingly easy to forget about the people who brought us into this world. Ghosting my parents is my fatal flaw; while it makes me seem cool and mysterious, it also annoys the fuck out of them. However, I\u2019m pleased to share that I applied my critical thinking skills and developed a new method for staying in touch with them. The best part is that it doesn\u2019t require a cell phone. Amazon.com might be the digital equivalent of the impulse-buy aisle of CVS, but it is more useful than it might appear. I\u2019ve been using my family\u2019s Amazon account order history to say the things I don\u2019t say over the phone. Find out how Amazon helps me send messages to my parents and decipher theirs as well. Item: Wee-Wee Pads Buyer: Parents What it says: Once you left again for college, we realized how much we actually missed someone constantly needing our attention with no reciprocated emotional support. We got a puppy! What it actually says: We\u2019ve decided to exchange one bitch with another. Item: Smart Meal Prep for Beginners Buyer: Audrey What it says: Mom, I\u2019m doing okay living off campus! Not only do I have a newfound passion for cooking, but I also know my limits. Notice \u201cfor beginners\u201d. Buyer: Parent, specifically maternal unit What it says: I\u2019m finally Taking Time For Myself and learning Tai Chi. What\u2019s more? I\u2019m converting your bedroom into my new at-home studio. Item: Spain travel guide (pocket size!) Buyer: Audrey What it says: Since our communication is already so weak, I think it would be interesting to go abroad spring quarter to test just how far I can push the not-being-in-touch envelope (I hope you have international stamps). Lonely planet? More like lonely parent! This Family Weekend, I hope I\u2019ve helped you understand how to evaluate how you communicate with the important people in you life. And not to worry, if you don\u2019t have an Amazon account, you can always analyze what\u2019s been brewing in the \u201ccontinue watching\u201d section of your shared Netflix account.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1417"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2450,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417\/revisions\/2450"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}