![\"](\"https:\/\/shadybucket.s3.amazonaws.com\/images\/stoodup.width-1280.jpg\")
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Another year, another Martin Luther King Day without a date. Have you tried every way to get a date who can revere a great American hero with you? Has your self-esteem gone down because of your inability to honor the famed late civil rights activist with a special someone? Do you stare longingly into the distance over the New York Sound searching for the green light that marks the home of your former lover who you crave in order to satisfy your idea of the American dream? If this sounds like you, then you just might be in the same boat as me and thousands of Americans leading up to this Monday. Here at the Shady Dealer, we know how hard it can be to head into January\u2019s premier holiday without someone you care about to celebrate with. Modern society propagates the message that Americans without romantic evening plans on Martin Luther King Jr.\u2019s birthday are less valuable than those who have made their reservation for two, and society got it right on this one. You need a date, and you need a date quick if you wish to avoid the shame that will undoubtedly ensue, but if you stay tuned, our guide might help you achieve your dream.<\/p>\n
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If this sounds like you, then this guide to the 6 best things to do without a date this MLK Day is for you!<\/p>\n
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1. Go to St. Olaf College and then drop out<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bummed that you don\u2019t have a date to celebrate the birthday of civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr.? No problem! An easy fix that has worked wonders for many of my friends is to go to St. Olaf College for about two weeks, and then drop out! It\u2019s an exciting way to get out of a rut and see all the new possibilities out there. Maybe you\u2019ll found a start-up, maybe you\u2019ll work at a caf\u00e9 until you meet the love of your life, or maybe you\u2019ll work as a clam digger until you meet a wealthy Captain on lake Superior! The world is yours, and with your newfound confidence you\u2019re sure to get a date this time next year!<\/p>\n
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2. Enlist in the Army<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Try enlisting in the army and winning a medal for your service in the 7th Infantry. You\u2019ve got great manners and an attitude that won\u2019t, make use of your skills to not only fly through the ranks but also to impress potential suitors for the next national holiday to revere the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.<\/p>\n
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3. Think about your Ex<\/p>\n
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I\u2019ll admit, I think about my ex-lovers from time to time too, so don\u2019t be afraid if they keep popping up in the back of your head. It\u2019s perfectly normal for you to seek closure that you didn\u2019t receive while falling love back in Louisville, but don\u2019t drive yourself crazy over it! Thinking about what you liked in your ex is a good way to the find qualities you want in your next partner, and who knows, maybe you\u2019ll like them enough to take them out for a lavish meal on the day that celebrates a man who wasn\u2019t afraid to stand up for the equal rights of his race.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
4. Go back to the States<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
First four steps didn\u2019t do it for you? Never fear, you always have the option to go back to the United States. It\u2019s the Roaring Twenties and nothing could go wrong. You may not have a lot of cash, but life isn\u2019t all about money, it\u2019s about the satisfaction you get from your personal relationships and being who you are. After all, Martin Luther King Jr. wasn\u2019t a wealthy man, but that didn\u2019t stop him from getting a holiday on which you have no date!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
5. Decide to get rich<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Personal satisfaction is worthless if you don\u2019t have the attention of everyone around you. The rich are the kings of this land and deep down you know that if you can\u2019t make it to the top, then you\u2019re nothing. You start a bootlegging business during the prohibition. You are dynamite. If only MLK could see you now, even he\u2019d agree that you could get a date.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
6. Construct a lavish mansion in West Egg<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Just because you don\u2019t have a date doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t live large! This mansion will symbolize your meteoric rise to the top of the nouveau riche, what you\u2019ve really wanted all this time, right? Sounds like someone has a dream. Plus, remember that ex you can\u2019t stop thinking about? She lives right across the water from you, who\u2019s to say if it\u2019s purposeful or a happy coincidence? You relentlessly try to turn back time to win her back because maybe if you have her, you\u2019ll finally achieve the elusive American dream, or at the very least won\u2019t spend another Monday night alone in mid-to-late January.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\tYou are Jay Gatsby. You are cash. You are money. You are unstoppable. If you\u2019ve completed steps 1-6, you are ready for anything, and will be able to get any date you want to celebrate the birthday one of America\u2019s greatest civil rights activist who died fighting for the inherent equality between the races, but who would also be disappointed to see the regression of progress in recent times. Regardless of whether Martin Luther King Jr. would approve of modern race relations or not, you have everything you need, and unless your crazed ex accidentally runs over her husband\u2019s side-piece, you\u2019ll have MLK Day dates for years to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Christian Villanueva Jan. 21, 2019 \u00a0 Another year, another Martin Luther King Day without a date. Have you tried every way to get a date who can revere a great American hero with you? Has your self-esteem gone down because of your inability to honor the famed late civil rights activist with a special someone? Do you stare longingly into the distance over the New York Sound searching for the green light that marks the home of your former lover who you crave in order to satisfy your idea of the American dream? If this sounds like you, then you just might be in the same boat as me and thousands of Americans leading up to this Monday. Here at the Shady Dealer, we know how hard it can be to head into January\u2019s premier holiday without someone you care about to celebrate with. Modern society propagates the message that Americans without romantic evening plans on Martin Luther King Jr.\u2019s birthday are less valuable than those who have made their reservation for two, and society got it right on this one. You need a date, and you need a date quick if you wish to avoid the shame that will undoubtedly ensue, but if you stay tuned, our guide might help you achieve your dream. If this sounds like you, then this guide to the 6 best things to do without a date this MLK Day is for you! 1. Go to St. Olaf College and then drop out Bummed that you don\u2019t have a date to celebrate the birthday of civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr.? No problem! An easy fix that has worked wonders for many of my friends is to go to St. Olaf College for about two weeks, and then drop out! It\u2019s an exciting way to get out of a rut and see all the new possibilities out there. Maybe you\u2019ll found a start-up, maybe you\u2019ll work at a caf\u00e9 until you meet the love of your life, or maybe you\u2019ll work as a clam digger until you meet a wealthy Captain on lake Superior! The world is yours, and with your newfound confidence you\u2019re sure to get a date this time next year! 2. Enlist in the Army Try enlisting in the army and winning a medal for your service in the 7th Infantry. You\u2019ve got great manners and an attitude that won\u2019t, make use of your skills to not only fly through the ranks but also to impress potential suitors for the next national holiday to revere the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 3. Think about your Ex I\u2019ll admit, I think about my ex-lovers from time to time too, so don\u2019t be afraid if they keep popping up in the back of your head. It\u2019s perfectly normal for you to seek closure that you didn\u2019t receive while falling love back in Louisville, but don\u2019t drive yourself crazy over it! Thinking about what you liked in your ex is a good way to the find qualities you want in your next partner, and who knows, maybe you\u2019ll like them enough to take them out for a lavish meal on the day that celebrates a man who wasn\u2019t afraid to stand up for the equal rights of his race. 4. Go back to the States First four steps didn\u2019t do it for you? Never fear, you always have the option to go back to the United States. It\u2019s the Roaring Twenties and nothing could go wrong. You may not have a lot of cash, but life isn\u2019t all about money, it\u2019s about the satisfaction you get from your personal relationships and being who you are. After all, Martin Luther King Jr. wasn\u2019t a wealthy man, but that didn\u2019t stop him from getting a holiday on which you have no date! 5. Decide to get rich Personal satisfaction is worthless if you don\u2019t have the attention of everyone around you. The rich are the kings of this land and deep down you know that if you can\u2019t make it to the top, then you\u2019re nothing. You start a bootlegging business during the prohibition. You are dynamite. If only MLK could see you now, even he\u2019d agree that you could get a date. 6. Construct a lavish mansion in West Egg Just because you don\u2019t have a date doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t live large! This mansion will symbolize your meteoric rise to the top of the nouveau riche, what you\u2019ve really wanted all this time, right? Sounds like someone has a dream. Plus, remember that ex you can\u2019t stop thinking about? She lives right across the water from you, who\u2019s to say if it\u2019s purposeful or a happy coincidence? You relentlessly try to turn back time to win her back because maybe if you have her, you\u2019ll finally achieve the elusive American dream, or at the very least won\u2019t spend another Monday night alone in mid-to-late January. You are Jay Gatsby. You are cash. You are money. You are unstoppable. If you\u2019ve completed steps 1-6, you are ready for anything, and will be able to get any date you want to celebrate the birthday one of America\u2019s greatest civil rights activist who died fighting for the inherent equality between the races, but who would also be disappointed to see the regression of progress in recent times. Regardless of whether Martin Luther King Jr. would approve of modern race relations or not, you have everything you need, and unless your crazed ex accidentally runs over her husband\u2019s side-piece, you\u2019ll have MLK Day dates for years to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1382"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1382"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1382\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2415,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1382\/revisions\/2415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}